Leaders Don't Keep Score
Mar 23, 2026
"The Platinum Rule says we should treat others better than they treat us. This is the essence of not keeping score."
--John Maxwell
Forgiveness is a subject that has come up a few times recently in individual coaching and in leadership development training. I taught it last week when I facilitated a short webinar on New Supervisor Pitfalls. We all have the propensity to take offense from something said to us or a behavior that we didn't agree with. If we aren't careful, we attach that to the person. Maybe we avoid that person...maybe we erect a wall against that person and that relationship becomes strained. We can't lead through a wall of resentment.
When leaders don’t keep score, something powerful happens. They’re not carrying yesterday into today. They’re not leading out of accumulated frustration or quiet resentment. They address the issue, document when needed, clarify expectations, and then they release it.
And when you release it, you’re free to lead forward.
Leading forward means setting clear expectations, following through consistently, correcting early, and holding high standards while valuing people equally. It means you don’t stay stuck in what went wrong — you use it to strengthen the standard and move the team ahead. That’s mature supervision. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is steady, forward leadership.
Maxwell’s book, High Road Leadership, the principle "Leaders Don't Keep Score" reminds us that great leaders:
• Don’t tally up offenses or keep mental ledgers of who’s right or wrong.
• Forgive quickly and lead forward, not backward.
• Focus on solutions, not settling scores.
• Give grace, not grudges. Think about it. When I mess up, I would love to be extended grace, wouldn't you?
Ryan Leak takes it a step further in his book, "How to Work With Complicated People," says we should Pre-forgive. What? Yes.
Decide ahead of time to let go of small annoyances and not let them derail our attitude. Forgiveness is ultimately a leadership decision, because it frees us to focus on growth and influence instead of resentment.
Are their places where you feel you have been keeping score? If so, what toll has that taken? How does keeping score affect trust or collaboration on your team?
Losing count,
Jan
Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team
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