The Tooth I Lost...and The Mindset to Go With It

 "Laying on the couch isn't a reward after the work is done—it’s part of how we lead well."

--Jan McDonald

Good morning,

Last Monday, I had oral surgery because: 

Last summer I had this little “zit-like” thing on my gum. No pain, so I handled it myself (you know… poked it, peroxided it and moved on ). It went away… until it came back right before we went to Hawaii in January. Did I go to the dentist? No. I poked it and got on a plane.

Fast forward—right after our Hawaii trip, I broke a front tooth. I had to go to the dentist. While he capped that one, I casually asked him to take a look at the other one.  He looks at me and says,  "This doesn't look good: how long have you had this infection?”

What? Infection?! Turns out it wasn’t “no big deal.” That tooth had to come out. Bone graft, implant later… and I’ll be without that tooth for a while.

This is the story I had written in my head that was stressing me out: 

“This is going to be awful.”
“I’m going to look terrible.”
“How can I work without this tooth?"  Come on, I even wore makeup to the surgery... 

And when I looked in the mirror the next day, it didn't look nearly as bad as I thought. The story I told myself was worse than the reality.

But there was another lesson in this for me. After the procedure, I had no choice but to slow down. No rushing. No powering through my to-do list.

Just... rest. And you know how I feel about that. Well, maybe you don't, because I have written quite a few emails on self-care. You would think I would automatically practice self-care.  Laying on the couch feels wildly unproductive to me. My brain starts telling me all the things I “should” be doing.

On Tuesday, I felt great. Yay! I went for a walk and got a ton of stuff done. I even held my young adult Bible study. 

Wednesday...OMGoodness! I felt like I was hit by a train. The swelling and bruising on my face was ridiculous. AND I COULDN'T MOVE OFF THE COUCH. 

As I laid there, I thought: What if rest isn’t unproductive? What if it’s actually preparation? 

Here's another story I had been holding onto...up until now--rest is weakness. (Did I actually write that out loud?) What if rest isn't weakness? What if it's stewardship? What if strength isn’t the ability to push through everything? It’s the wisdom to know when not to.  AND I'm writing this on Friday--it took me this long to figure this out. 

The story I thought was making me strong was actually the thing wearing me out. This experience shifted a mindset in me. Strength doesn’t look like constant output. It looks like trust. It looks like surrender. It looks like taking care of myself so I can show up fully for what matters most.

Sometimes we push through, minimize what’s going on, and tell ourselves we’ll deal with it later.
Sometimes we create stress by assuming how things will go.
And sometimes… we just need to stop and let our body (and our mind) catch up.

You might not have a tooth story this week (hopefully ), but you'll probably have a moment where you feel the urge to push through.

When that happens, pause and ask: What story am I telling myself right now? And what would it look like to take care of myself in this moment? Do I need a mindset shift and if so, where? 

You don’t have to earn rest. You need it. 

I'm headed to the couch to practice my new mindset, 

Jan 

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team