To Lead Well, Look in The Mirror
Mar 16, 2026
"The first and best victory is to conquer self."
Some time ago, I listened to a great podcast by Andy Stanley on self leadership. Last week I had the privilege of facilitating a keynote on DISC styles. One thing we didn’t cover—blind spots. Andy said that the greatest leadership challenge was in the mirror and one of those concepts he covered was blind spots. If I cannot lead myself well, how am I to lead others? He gave three points that he believes helps him conquer self.
1. I will not lie to myself even when it hurts. The easiest person to deceive is me. I have written about blind spots before. Blind spots are those areas that we can't see, but often everyone else can. One blind spot that I have been working on is that I am not gentle when it comes to confrontation. WHAT? I KNOW that's not true:) Maybe in my own eyes. I have to be open to learning about areas in my life where I may be fibbing to myself. (Fibbing doesn't sound as bad as lying.) I can't lead myself OR others if I lie.
2. I will prioritize what I value most over what I want now. Successful leaders lead themselves toward what they value rather than what I want now.
One of our biggest blind spots is living for what feels urgent now instead of what matters most over time. Stephen Covey’s Funeral Exercise helps bring that into focus. When we pause and ask what we would want the people closest to us to say about our lives, we begin to uncover our true values. And once we see those values more clearly, we can also see the gap between what we say matters and how we are actually living. That gap is often where the blind spot lives.
Andy said that it's the Immediate vs. the Ultimate and there's a constant tension between the two. One blind spot many of us share is choosing the immediate over the ultimate.
It’s easy to fill our time with things that are good. But leadership often requires us to ask a harder question:
Is this the greatest use of my time and talent?
Letting go of lesser things—even good things—can be uncomfortable. But the real question is whether those things move us toward the life and leadership we want. Will those lesser things move us in the direction of the lives we desire?
This brings to my mind, The Law of Sacrifice. We need to let go of things of a lesser value, to attain those things of a greater value. For example, if we want a great retirement nest egg, then we can't spend all our money now. We may need to forego the Immediate of what we want now, for the Ultimate of living comfortably when we're older.
3. I will not attempt to lead myself by myself. John Maxwell talks about this in the Law of the Inner Circle. A leader's position is determined by those closest to him, so we need to choose wisely. Our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives. We can leverage this well by choosing friends that share our values, not just our interests. Decide to choose a friend and/or mentor who will call you on your blind spots. Choose mentors or coaches who willingly jump in our stuff if we are making unwise choices.
Something to think about as you start the week: where might there be a blind spot worth exploring?
Geesh, that's a lot to think about.
Jan
Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team
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