“Girls don’t go to college.”  I heard my dad say this to my sister when I was seven years old. She was 16 and really wanted to go to college. That was my dad’s final answer.  Back in the day, we didn’t question Dad…well, not when I was younger anyway.  But I had questions in my own mind; Why? Why don’t girls go to college?  I knew boys went to college because I had a couple of cousins that we going at the time. Are girls not smart enough, good enough? That thought went into my young mind as a belief that if girls didn’t go to college, they must not be “good or smart enough.”

“She’s too little. There’s no way she can help us win.”  That’s what they said about me on the playground. I was always chosen last, if I was chosen at all. My teacher, Miss James would often make them choose me and that choice was accompanying by groans and jeers.  AND I was too short for the longest time to get on the Ferris wheel at Euclid Beach amusement part. Being little wasn’t enough either. 

Wow, two strikes against me–being a girl and being little–and there were more. Our beliefs, positive and negative, are put into our minds when we’re young. Often, well-meaning people say things that are not intended to be negative, but impact our lives just the same. Our experiences and perceptions of them can contribute to our programming, as well. 

These beliefs impact our self image in such a way that we may sabotage our success until we uncover those limiting beliefs and change them.  Our self image is composed of beliefs that we hold about ourselves.  I’ve studied and facilitated classes on self image and the truth is that we never out perform our self image. We can’t become more than we believe we can. 

The awesome part about all of this is that these beliefs can be rewritten. Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist says this, “Regardless of the ways we have chosen to react in the past, painful toxic thoughts can be reconceptualized and reconstructed.”  It’s true and that has been my experience! 

I invite you to join me for a webinar on rewriting your story. Let’s get together for an hour on Tuesday night, Feb.16th, to learn how do just that.  Register here: https://janmcdonald.leadingthebest.com/WERY0001

I hope you’ll join me. Nothing makes my happy dance more than helping individuals change and out grow those beliefs and perceptions that may be holding them back!

Excitedly typed, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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This is an email that I wrote back in 2017, the year that I was beginning to transition out of my job and into my own business. 2020 was pretty disruptive for many of us. It might be a good time to review our personal mission statements.

In the chapter on mission statements in the book “Five Most Important Questions.” Peter Drucker discusses organizational mission statements thoroughly. While writing this book in 2015, Drucker noticed that not much was written on personal mission statements.

His organization did a large study on the relationship between happiness and meaning with both organizational and personal satisfaction in life. They found that both happiness and meaning are important when creating a personal mission. In this study, happiness is defined as personal enjoyment of the work itself, not just the results. At the high end of the scale, loving what you do creates happiness.

By meaning, Drucker refers to the value that you give to your work. At the high end of the scale, you deeply believe that the results of what you do matter and are important. They also found that individuals have different and unique definitions of happiness and meaning. No one can tell you what makes you happy or what is meaningful to you. These answers come from the heart.

Their research also showed that the only way to have high degrees of satisfaction with life and work was to engage in activities that produce happiness and meaning at the same time.

Does what you do make you happy? Do you believe what you do matters?

What is your mission? Here are some steps to create more satisfaction in your life and work:

1. Create a clear personal mission for yourself. Drucker says it should be short, clear and fit on a t-shirt.
2. Look into your heart and do what really matters to you.
3. Make sure the process of achieving your mission is one that you love. Do what makes you happy.
4. Analyze how you spend your time. Spend the majority of your time doing things that simultaneously bring happiness and meaning.

I love coaching, speaking and training and deeply believe that what I do matters. Last year caused me to look deeper into my priorities…I need a personal mission statement rewrite. Such a statement helps prevent personal “mission drift” just like a mission statement does at any organization.

How about you? Does yours need a rewrite? Or do you have one? If you don’t, what do you think about establishing one? If you need help fleshing it out, give me a call.

Thinking,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I recently grabbed and reread “The Inner Game of Tennis,” by Timothy Gallwey. I’m not a tennis player, but what made me want to read it, is that Tom Brady, of the New England Patriots, at the time the book was written, said that the book taught him mental toughness, I can certainly use a dose of that focus and mental toughness that keeps him winning.

I was reminded that the book was about coaching. Not coaching, like Pete Carroll of the Seattle Seahawks, but about performance and professional coaching.

The premise of the “Inner Game of Tennis,” is that we are really two people living inside ourselves. Self 1, the conscious mind, is the “teller,” and Self 2 is the “doer”, or the subconscious mind. When Self 2 learns and masters a task on its own, it remembers the task. It’s instinctive and natural. The challenge is when Self 2 is listening to chatter from Self 1. Self 2 is unable to focus on the task, over-analyzes, tries too hard and is stressed into getting unfavorable results. It is the constant thinking/talking activity of Self 1 which causes the interference with the natural learning capabilities of Self 2. Winning this game between Self 1 and 2 is what creates mental toughness. Quieting Self 1 is necessary for reaching your full potential. Gallwey gives us skills to quiet Self 1, one of which I am going to discuss today.

We have to learn to let go of the inner process
of judging ourselves.

Stop belittling ourselves when we make a mistake or fail at something. There’s no shame in making a mistake when we are learning a new skill, or when we have learned something new about ourselves. Learn to see our blunders as a part of our developing process–a part of growing into who we want to become.

It’s a good thing we didn’t have a highly developed Self 1 when we were learning to walk. We’d all still be crawling, because Self 1 would tell us, “Do it this way. No, you’re going to fall. Watch out, Stupid, you’re going to hit your head again. Don’t you ever listen? You’ve tried it that way a ton of times and you’re too clumsy.” As babies, it didn’t matter how many times we failed, or banged our head, our natural desire to learn to walk triumphed.

Many Self 1 scripts were learned from experiences or people in our past. Listen the next time your judger Self 1 starts in on you. Ask yourself where that came from. Chances are there isn’t much truth behind those belittling statements. Observe your actions, emotions, from the outside as neither good nor bad, they just are. Napolean Hill says “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Become aware of your Self 1 chatter. Deny your critic, quiet your Self 1 and let your brilliant Self 2 take over and naturally learn.

Serving aces,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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The last couple weeks of the year is the time that I set goals for the new year. I do love this time, though. My reflection time includes looking at what was great about the last year, what was not so great, what goals I achieved…or not. This enlightenment comes from reading through my journal from the year. Then I spend time dreaming about what I want the next year to look like.  When I have that picture, I write down goals to get what I desire. Many times, it’s just revamping or re-dating those goals I didn’t quite accomplish. Sometimes, I see a whole new vision within my purpose.

Join me in imagining your 2021 and executing a plan to achieve your goals. My whole desire in writing these emails to you is to help you develop your leadership ability, especially the ability to lead yourself well.  I am delightfully amazed at how something so simple has transformed my life and relationships and I can see that for you, too.  AND I truly desire for you to be able to accomplish ALL of your dreams and goals.

This plan I am giving you is not going to be difficult. It’s meant to get you started.  

Step 1—Get away by yourself. After you’ve turned off your cell phone and your technology notification beeps, close your eyes. Really think about what you want your life to look like? Who do you want to become? What do you want your relationships to look like? How much money do you want to make? How is your health?  Could that use improvement?  If you could not fail, what would you attempt?  What does your spiritual life look like? These are just a few questions to get your brain thinking.

Step 2—Write down a simple sentence or affirmation describing the picture in your head of the aspirations that you have decided upon. One of my affirmations is “Loving, patient, creative, persistent and disciplined are the qualities that describe me.” (okay, stop laughing.  I said to imagine who you want to become:)  Write them in the present tense, like you have already achieved them. Your brain is a goal-seeking mechanism—it wants to do what you tell it.

Step 3—Attach a date to your potential achievement of that goal. When do you want to achieve millionaire status?  When do you want to pay of that credit card?  When do you want to be 10 pounds lighter? It is difficult to put a date on becoming patient or disciplined because “becoming” is a process and unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight. I wish I could tell you differently.

Step 4—Write every one of your affirmations on two 3 X 5 cards.  Keep one card by your bed and the other in a place where you will check it in the daytime.  Read them twice a day. I found this to be important for me, especially in the area of developing personal characteristics. Reading them aloud, reminds me of the direction I am  moving toward. It helps prevent the “Squirrel!” distractions that may take me off of my chosen path.

Step 5—Plan backward from the end goal to break it down into bite-size pieces that are attainable.  For example, if you have a weight loss goal that you want to achieve in 6 months, how much do you need to lose per month? Break that down into daily tasks that are doable.  Do that for each one of your goals.  Put those goals somewhere, in your calendar or in your phone, so you can track them.

Step 6—Just get started.   Take one small baby step in the direction of your goals and dreams.  This step includes telling someone you trust that will cheer you on.

TADAH! You did it!  It wasn’t that hard, was it?

Setting a goal is really about changing ourselves for the long-term. Jim Rohn quotes, “The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.” So, go ahead,  show the world who you want to become and what you want to achieve. You are so worthy of whatever it is you desire to have or become.

If you need assistance, I am just an email or phone call away. 

Blessings on your 2021!

Jan

Jan McDonald

John Maxwell Team

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Tonight starts “Breakthrough to Your Best You, the Sequel.”  This is a class that I’m teaching again by popular demand.  One of the modules is on Self-Sabotage and the idea for this content came about because there are areas where I sabotage my success and I wanted some answers.

While preparing, I came across some wisdom shared by prior participants.  So as not to blow anyone’s cover, I’m not going to be using any names of the geniuses behind this email…unless, of course, it’s me:)  
 

Self-sabotage is cunning–most of the time we are not aware that
we are doing it. We get caught in the web of our subconscious mind and old programming.

The first brilliance shared on the call was that overthinking was sabotage. This person called it “ruminating,” like when a cow chews its cud. Overthinking the problems, rather than the possibilities, is paralyzing. Taking action is not even on the radar screen. The words used to describe this sabotage, “The possibilities only happen when I take action. All the things that I think are problems would not be problems if I would act, even if I didn’t know how it would turn out. It never turns out the way I think it will anyway.” Someone said that more than 90% of things that we worry about never happen anyway.

Another person shared that sabotage had to do with age and he/she was totally unaware that he/she was using this to hold herself back in areas. It was tough to learn new software and technology. Accompanying that was eating unhealthy things at night, which totally undid their weight loss program. “I’m older–I deserve to be able to eat this way.”

Another participant shared about self-talk and the lies we believe about ourselves that cause us to sabotage.

We also came to the conclusion that sabotage is selfish. WHAT? How could that be? We don’t live on an island, others are impacted by our behavior. Think about some of the habits or conditioning that we have. We don’t think we are worthy to have the good in life. We procrastinate because there’s always tomorrow. We compare ourselves to others. Maybe we fear intimate relationships, so we push away those we love. We drink, eat, tweet and facebook too much. We can’t control our anger in conflict. Think of this list in terms of relationships and the resulting impacts on them.

Lastly, we all came to the conclusion that it is selfish to the One who created us. Your worldview may call that One the Universe, the Source. Intuition or whatever. I call Him God. God has given us all of these talents and gifts so we can make a positive difference in His world. When we behave in ways that are “less than” who we know we can be, we are hiding our brilliance, gifts and talents under limiting beliefs that don’t serve us or anyone else for that matter.

Here’s a couple of short tips to help you overcome sabotage:

1. Watch for self-sabotaging behavior and pause momentarily the next time you recognize it. Identify the feelings behind it. Why am I doing that yet again? Why am I reacting this way? What do I want to get from this behavior? How’s that working for me? Most of the time it isn’t working.

2. Create an positive affirmation statement to combat the negative thinking that is taking place in your mind. How do I want to feel? How would I rather respond instead? Imagine yourself overcoming, because you can. You get to choose our thoughts and actions.

Self-sabotage is a tug of war between our subconscious and conscious mind. Until we make the unconscious conscious, we can’t win the war.

If you need help with self-sabotage, email me. If you want to hear more or participate in Breakthrough, the Sequel, let me know that, too.

Growing with you,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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My favorite leadership law is the Law of Magnetism.  Who I am is who I attract. Thoughts are things, and they attract to me what I think about. When I worked for a non-profit, my experience was that there was one mindset that held many non-profits back from explosive funding. That was (and maybe still is) the scarcity mindset.  I used to think that way, too.

I remember the cure…I fought hard for a speaker for our fund-raiser whose fee was $10,000. Gulp, we’d never paid that before. But I was sure…my intuition and his track record told me that  he would bring great results. I’d read his books and I knew how much faith he had.  He believed and expected to achieve the absolute impossible. If he could, we could.  AND WE DID. We raised more than we ever did that night–in fact, he set a record. That speaker was a magnet for great things. It also set higher standards from that time on for our financial partners.  He changed our thinking!

That experience cemented abundance thinking in my mind.  Today, nine years later, my life, business
and relationships have changed to reflect that.

The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition, credit, power and/or profit—even with those who help in the production. They also have a hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people. These are the people who never have enough time, money, energy or resources to achieve their goals. They frame their challenges around what they lack.  Preservation rather than expansion is the lens they look through. They like familiar– “we’ve never done THAT before,” rather than risk. They set goals based on what they were able to achieve, rather than what may be possible. In a culture of perceived lack, people become nervous and afraid to make a mistake and creative thinking suffers.

The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth or security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in the sharing of prestige, recognition, profits and decision-making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives and creativity.  A person with the abundance mindset doesn’t settle with “we can’t afford it,” they ask “how can we afford it?” That kind of thinking opens up myriads of possibilities! A person with an abundance mindset thinks about what they want and expects that there is a way to get it. Abundant mindset people are optimistic and choose to see obstacles as opportunities. They see the glass half full rather than half empty.

Leaders create the culture of our workplaces or homes, and mindsets are awfully contagious. Which mindset do you want to operate out of?  Which mindset do you want your team  or your family to run on?  What/Who do you want to attract into  your life? We, as leaders, need to model the behavior that we want to see in our people.

Steven Covey, author of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” says, “There is enough pie to go around, so break that nasty habit of comparing yourself to others. Repeat after me: There is plenty for everyone. Say the sentence often enough, and it’ll become second nature.”

Begin to think abundance…because you deserve it.
 
Thinking differently,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Spring of 2014 proved to be a brutal season for me as the CEO of Life Options. We launched our mobile center, which is not like launching a “brick and mortar” pregnancy medical center. Yes, the policies and procedures and the standard of care are all the same, but who knew how the heater on a mobile unit  worked?  Automatic levelers, what are those for? Black water, grey water…what is the difference? We had six very excited drivers, but scheduling them at the beginning was like herding cats. I can’t begin to tell you all of the challenges which surrounded the mobile center.

To make matters worse, I had one staff member who was, let’s just say, less than stellar. This one relationship became strained, but because I felt sure I could train and communicate better, I tried to make it work. That didn’t happen.

Then in July our funding tanked. Life Options had experienced severe funding shortages only 3 times in the 10 years prior to 2014. The last time had occurred in 2010.

I remember telling my board of directors that I felt like we were stuck.  Prayers felt like they were unanswered. I would go home at night, exhausted. I quit in my head more times than I like to admit.

Finally, I went into my library to hopefully find a book that might offer a solution to this “stuckness.” One book stood out to me—“The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership,” by John C. Maxwell.
 

I grabbed that book and took it to bed to read. I recognized myself in the first chapter. I had stopped growing and so had Life Options. 

The Law of the Lid is explained in the first chapter of John’s book. Essentially, there is a lid on a person’s leadership ability and this lid determines his level of effectiveness. The lower a person’s ability to lead, the lower the lid on his leadership ability, and the lower his effectiveness. This is shown in the charts from the book below.

The chart on the left shows a competent or productive person without leadership skills. This person can work very hard to increase his or her dedication to success through sheer effort. Effectiveness may increase, say 25%. Let’s say that our leadership is at a level 4.

There’s another option. Let’s work really hard to increase our leadership skills to maybe a 7 and look what happens in the second chart. Leadership has a multiplying effect on effectiveness.

If the leader doesn’t grow, the organization doesn’t grow. Why do they fire the coach when the football team isn’t winning? If the coach were an extremely effective leader for the team, it would be winning more games.

A person’s impact is only a fraction of what it could be without leadership ability. Your ability to cast vision for your business…to get a team of like-minded people together…to unite those people behind a common vision…to get their goals in alignment with the team goals… to get the right people on the bus and the wrong people off the bus… is determined by how well you lead.

How is your organization growing? Think about your team for a moment–how can you tell they are like-minded ? What are you doing to grow?  Growing and implementing leadership principles in my life and in the organization resulted in immense expansion.  This might be a great goal for 2021–to increase your leadership skills and personal growth. It spills over into every area of your life and improves it. 

Go and grow!

 Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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The Power of the Pause.

The leadership Law of Reflection teaches us that learning to pause allows growth to catch up with us. This morning in my reflection time, I continued to think about what I learned from this last year.  I finished reading through last year’s journal and know what attitudes and beliefs I want to take forward into 2021. There are also some beliefs and resulting behaviors that need to be left behind.

There is an old joke that experience is a hard teacher because the test is given first and the lesson is given afterward. Ha. Ha. After a huge problem or challenge, it is so easy for me to say, “I am sooooo glad that’s over! Whew!”  I have found that a much better thing to say is, “What can I learn from it?”  If we don’t take the time to pause and evaluate or reflect on the experience, we may never learn the lesson intended for us. My friend and mentor, Paul Martinelli, always says that the curriculum for our growth is right in front of us. AND it’s reflection that often allows us to discover the changes we can make that will improve our lives. 

“Experience is not the best teacher…evaluated experience is.” John Maxwell.

As leaders, most of us are so busy trying to keep up with the demands of our lives, that we don’t take the time to reflect on our lives. We are so action oriented that we neglect to take the time to think. Some times we can miss what John calls “life markers.” These are important events that can really signal a time for transition, change or transformation. We can miss the significance of these experiences for us.

Lack of reflection can also cause us to not learn from a failure or mistake.  If we don’t learn from those, we can repeat them. An evaluated failure or mistake can transform into a valuable learning tool. Our failures and mistakes can actually make us better!

Reflecting on our successes, blessings and on the things we did right, can make us happy. Reflecting on the good in our lives also makes us grateful. Being grateful causes joy! Without reflecting on the good we’ve done, it’s easy for us to forget about our successes and focus on our failures.

Pausing with intention expands and enriches our thinking. Study the lives of people who have had tremendous impact on the world and you will find that many of them spent a considerable amount of time thinking.

Steve Jobs took time in the morning, no matter what time he woke up to re-evaluate his work and desires. He looked in the mirror and asked, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” If the answer was “no” for far too long, he would change something.

Benjamin Franklin would eat dinner at 5:00, listen to music, have quiet conversation and then reflect on his day before going to bed at 10:00.

Find a place to think and discipline yourself to find the power of the pause, even if it’s a small block of time. It has the potential to change your life and can help you figure out what’s really important and what isn’t.

Take time to pause this week. What were some of the blessings from 2020 which you can pull forward into this next year? There’s got to be some. What were some of your “life markers” that you discovered in 2020? How are you going to change so you can thrive in 2021 no matter what 2021 looks like?  Find the power of the pause. 

I wish you many blessings in 2021,

Jan 

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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