I’ve been facilitating a lot about anxiety this year. In my research, I found something out that I hadn’t realized before. When we are stressed, we often beat ourselves up for our reactions:
“Ugh… why did I react like that?”
“Why didn’t I speak up?”
“Why did I avoid that conversation?”
‘Why did I say that?” (my fave.)
We’re quick to label ourselves as too emotional, too reactive, not strong enough or too insensitive. But here’s the truth we rarely hear:
Your stress response actually comes from strength.
It’s your nervous system trying to protect you, not sabotage you. (What? Who knew?)
We all have our go-to stress response strength:
Fight — your courage, your drive, your ability to act
Flight — your awareness, your intuition, your ability to adapt
Freeze — your wisdom to pause before reacting
Fawn — your gift for connection and diffusing tension
None of these responses mean something is “wrong” with you.
They mean your body is trying to keep you safe.
The only time it becomes a problem is when stress is constant, and those strengths get stuck in overdrive. But the root of each one is a GOOD thing. And when we can recognize the strength underneath our reaction, we stop fighting ourselves and start supporting ourselves.
So here’s a simple reflection for this week:
Which stress response shows up most for you—and what’s the hidden strength inside it?
My guess? You’re stronger than you think.
And your nervous system has been trying to protect you all along.
Cheering you on,
Jan
P.S. If this resonates and you’re thinking, “My team could really use this,” I’d love to bring my Managing Anxiety in the Workplace workshop to your organization. It’s practical, encouraging, and filled with tools that make work feel calmer and a whole lot lighter. Just hit reply and say, “Tell me more.”
Follow me on Facebook @janbayermcdonald
For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
https://jan-mcdonald-llc.
Discomfort – Your brain senses tension and starts preparing for conflict. It tells you, “This might not be safe—get ready to defend yourself.”
Uncertainty – You can’t predict what they’ll do or say next, and your brain doesn’t like surprises. It fills in the blanks with stories to feel more prepared—even if those stories aren’t true.
Lack of Control – When you realize you can’t control their reaction, your brain tries harder to manage the situation, which often creates even more frustration.
Recognize what triggers you when working with complicated people
Dennis found this story on Facebook when we were fighting Covid together: 
