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Your Path to Breakthroughs: Insights from Jan McDonald

From hopeless drunk to 30 years sober and helping hundreds of individuals and organizations unlock their ‘and then some’, I distill all the lessons gained from those transformational life experiences and share them with you in this space.

I invite you to explore these insights as way to help you breakthrough the challenges that are stopping you from becoming who you want to be.

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5 Simple Steps to Maximize Your Effectiveness

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The Law of The Picture–people do what people see.

The first person you learn to lead is you! You earn the right to lead others when they see you lead your own life well.

Follow the leader is a children’s game. First a leader or “head of the line” is chosen, then the children all line up behind the leader. The leader then moves around and all the children have to mimic the leader’s actions. Any players who fail to follow or do what the leader does are out of the game.

I played that game as a child, but poor eye-hand coordination had me out of the game fairly quickly. As a leader today, eye-hand coordination has nothing to do with the Law of the Picture.

Good leaders need to understand they are creating a visual picture for their followers with their actions.  They must be conscious of the fact that they are modeling behavior and that others are going to do for better or for worse. In general, the better the leader’s actions, the better their people’s. The greatest gift a leader can give is being a good example.

Educators tell us that 89% of learning is visual. Most people need to see a demonstration or example before they understand how to perform a task. This makes sense to me–especially with technology. Even when learning how to use this “user friendly” (really?) Mail Chimp way of sending emails, I had to have someone give me hands on instructions so I could do it. I read the instructions at length and could not figure it out. After I was shown how–it became fairly easy!

Colin Powell once said, “You can issue all the memos and give all the motivational speeches you want, but if the rest of the people in our organization don’t see you putting forth your very best effort every single day, they won’t either.”

This means that the very first person I need to lead is me. The first person that I need to change is me. Sometimes, I just don’t enjoy that the buck stops with me. If someone on my team is not performing, I can usually look back to standards I was lax on, didn’t enforce, or set a lazy example myself. Ouch

The good news is that I can become the leader that my organization needs. I can continue to hone my leadership skills by growing personally.  I can practice the law of awareness by continuing to evaluate the example that I set for others. Do my words match my actions? How is my own performance? Am I willing to do what I ask others to do?

Oh My Goodness, my growth and behavior is the one thing I can fix and can CONTROL…and that makes me happy.

Go and grow!

Jan

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


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5 Steps That Help Deal With Disappointment

"Sometimes when you get disappointment, it makes you stronger."

--David Rudisha

I was supposed to be on an airplane today (last Thursday) to California to spend the 4th of July with my adult children. It is a tradition that we started about 5 years ago.  Thank you, Corona Virus, for yet one more disappointment. The current spike in Corona cases and the reclosing of parts of California caused both of my kids to be concerned enough for me to cancel my trip. I am extremely disappointed that I’m not going to get to see them and I understand their fears–even though I don’t have those same fears. 

While sharing this with my Chosen participants, an online class I am teaching, everyone empathized and shared their Corona disappointments. There were many. I thought to myself, “Hmmmm…maybe dealing with disappointment is a great topic for an email.” 

When looking for quotes about disappointment, I stumbled on the above one by David Rudisha.  I got a little judgmental when I read it, because I’m not fond of hard circumstances that make me stronger. (Geesh, did I really admit that?) I thought that David was probably some motivational speaker with an eternal positive attitude, but no.  David is the world  record holder in the 800 meter dash and gold medal Olympian!  He hadn’t competed for 18 months (and this was written about him in October 2019,) due to a misdiagnosed injury, a major car crash that could have killed him, and personal issues including his father’s death and the breakdown of his marriage. 

His name means “to return” in Swahili and that is exactly what he planned to do; return in style and win a third Olympic gold medal at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. Now those have been cancelled.  David knows disappointment and his take away? “I know it’s not easy, nothing is guaranteed, but I’m just doing my best and want to give my best.”

How do we give our best during disappointment? 

1.  Accept it. Disappointments happen to everyone. We need to realize that we are not alone. The disappointment is past, we can’t change it or influence it. It’s in the past. 

2. Don’t run from the feeling. Go ahead, wallow for a bit. Identify the emotion surrounding the disappointment and feel it.  John Maxwell gives himself 24 hours to feel the pain of failure. After that, he picks himself up and dusts himself off and moves forward. 

3.  Look for the good in it.  One of my mentors says, “The curriculum for our growth is always right in front of us.”  What can we learn? How can we grow?  Einstein tells us that in the midst of crisis, there lies opportunity.

4.  Watch our self-talk.  Instead of talking to yourself like you are the disappointment, realize that disappointment is an event that happened to you. You are not the disappointment.  You can handle it! You can solve the challenge! You are fully resourced from within.

5. Hike. I found that I can’t do a beast of a hike and cry at the same time. Crying blurs the safe places on which to put my feet. AND the hard hike gave me time to feel the pain, process the feelings and decide to be okay with the disappointment. The world wasn’t going to end because I couldn’t go after all. The endorphins (brain peptides that make us feel good) created  during the exercise helped, too. 

“Mom, I’m bummed, too. Fourth of July is my favorite holiday,”  my son was disappointed, too. “Maybe we could plan to drive and meet each other halfway. Yes, let me get to work on that.”  Yes, Let’s do that.  I feel better already. 

We’re human and are going to be faced with people and events that let us down. It’s how we respond to these disappointments that determine their impact on us, our success in life and those around us.  I hope these steps help you. If you have found other ways to  give your best and be strengthened in disappointing times, let me know so I can share with others. 

Getting stronger, 

Jan

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


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5 Things To Do Daily For Success

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot."

--Michael Altshuler

If we want to design our life and live it according to our calling and our own personal dreams and desires, we need strategies. Good strategies take into account your top priorities. If we don’t prioritize those things that are most important, the urgent will get in the way of what is important. I know if I don’t have a list of the most important items that I want to accomplish on any given day, my time gets frittered away by the unimportant. 

Here’s a question for you?  As you look ahead to the next 6 months, what is a primary area in your life or work that you would like to experience growth in? How are you going to make sure that happens?

John Maxwell has a strategy called the Rule of 5.  It is a list of five things that you do on a daily basis that moves you closer to your goal.  Let me illustrate the principle behind this rule: 

I have a tree that I want to chop down in my back yard. I also have a million other things to do as well as chop down the tree. One way to get that done is just go out and chop at that tree everyday just 5 times. In time, you will drop that tree. It doesn’t matter what the size of the tree is—a larger tree will take more time than a smaller tree.  This is the power of compounding. That which you do daily is what you get done. A few things done right everyday, is better than a lot of things done right every day.   
 

The point is to study the few activities you do that generate most of the results and gain an understanding of what the build-up activities are which lead to those results. Then plan each day around those daily disciplines.


Whether you are creating a Rule of 5 for your organization or yourself, the following few tips will help you get started.

1.  Write down your main goal. This will be your guiding light as you create your Rule of 5. Your Rule of 5 are the steps you must take in order to achieve your goal.

2.  Build your “important” list. This can be done in a variety of ways:

a: Make a to-do list for your day. Include everything that must be done that day, as well as items you aim to complete over time.

b: Write down a list of everything you do to be successful. This can range from reading and writing to engaging with team members and building relationships.

3.  Rank the items in order of priority. If various items are similar, you can categorize them to help with the prioritization process.

4.  Highlight the top 20 percent of your priorities and make a memorable list of 5 things that allows you to allocate the majority of your time to those things.

5.  Print your Rule of 5 and hang it where it is frequently seen.
 

Repetition is key.


After completing these 5 steps, confidently live out your Rule of 5 every day… even on weekends, and even when you’re busy.  That is how you make sure you grow in the area that you desire.  Gandhi said, “If we don’t prioritize our life, somebody else will.”  I have certainly found that to be true.

Chopping away,

Jan

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
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When We Don’t Have All The Answers

"Nothing will cause more anxiety than trying to control that which we can't."

--John Maxwell

I have facilitated Leading Through Crisis a number of times, but last night the above quote stood out to me more than ever.  When we sold our home in Grandview  mid-July of last year, we had the hardest time finding a home in Tri-Cities that we liked, in the price range that we desired. We had looked at 46 homes by the first week in August and none of them were “The One.”  The date for the new owner of our old home to take possession was August 30th.

In Leading Through Crisis, one of the distractions during a crisis is fear of the unknown. I had that going on big-time! What if we don’t find a place? Do we rent? Geesh, I don’t want to move twice. And if we do rent, where?  Do we settle for the home that we already toured that we could live in after massive renovation?  Do we need to go up in price range? I don’t want to be house poor. Do I even want to look in Pasco?  I spent a ton of time looking on Zillow. I swear, I knew the details of almost every home in there.  I tried to work this “crisis” every which way in the my head. My thoughts were like a horse running around and around in a corral. Talk about anxiety!!  

The night before we were going to look at more homes, I finally through up my hands in “Whatever!” mode. I gave it up. The only things I could control were my attitude and to continue looking at homes. The moment I surrendered was the moment my anxiety lessened.  AND…

The very next morning, we found “The One” in Pasco…and we hadn’t even been looking there.


What can we do when we don’t have all the answers?  Here are some things that I learned. These aren’t just my ideas, but ideas from participants in Leading Through Crisis:

1. Surrender the unknown. Let go and accept where you are. As a person of faith, I give it to God–He’s up all night anyway, probably working on my challenge.  No sense in both of us losing sleep. 

2. Focus on what we can control and then take action. Procrastination fuels anxiety, so take the next step, whatever that is…and then celebrate that step forward, no matter how tiny. 

3. Ask more questions. Look at the situation from different angles. Engaging in conversations with others can give different perspectives and can help us think outside the box.

4. Write about the situation. I have found that writing challenges down on paper gives me clarity. The emotions surrounding the unknown are clarified, the fears are black and white, and the challenge seems smaller.

5. Focus on the big picture based on what we know.   In my life, things always seem to work out for me. I don’t mean that to sound arrogant, but if I look back on my life, I can see that we have been divinely guided.  I know this…but sometimes I forget. Sometimes the control freak in me comes out of the closet and tries to organize EVERYTHING.

I am sure that you have your ways of thriving when you don’t have all the answers–I hope that you will share them with me. The arsenal  for coping can never be too big in these ever-changing times. 

Still don’t have all the answers,  

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Pump Up Your Willpower

"WHAT TAXES YOUR WILLPOWER? Implementing new behaviors; Filtering distractions; Resisting temptation; Suppressing emotion; Restraining aggression; Suppressing impulses; Taking tests; Trying to impress others; Coping with fear; Doing something you don’t enjoy; Selecting long-term over short-term rewards."

--Gary Keller, from "The ONE Thing"

I was astonished while reading his chapter on willpower from Gary’s book,  “The ONE Thing.” Gary compares willpower like the power bar on our cell phones. Every morning, we start out with a full charge. As the day goes on, every time we use our phones, we use up some of the charge. It’s the same with your willpower. As the day goes on, our resolve shrinks just like our cell phone battery. Every time we use our will, we have less of it to draw on later on in the day. When the charge is gone…so is our willpower.  
 

Willpower is one of those resources that needs
to be managed. Who knew?


But it makes sense. Every day, right around 3:00, I’m done. I can’t hardly make a decision after that time. I just need to leave work and regroup. I find myself closing my laptop, getting a snack, walking my dog, or just doing something brainless for about 30 minutes. If I can carve out that time, I can finish my day with ease. If I miss that time, I welcome any distraction that comes my way and productivity goes out the window.  Many times it leaves me searching for LifeSaver Gummies, or some other sugary snack.

Knowing this information is powerful. Maybe you’ve heard of the Marshmallow Test? Walter Mischel did some research with four-year-old children.  He gave them one marshmallow and told them they would get two if they could wait to eat the one until he came back.  Only three out of ten could delay gratification for 15 minutes to get the two treats. Willpower was in short supply. 

What’s the big deal about this experiment? Over the next 30 years, Mischel followed those who participated in his experiment.  He found out that the “high-delayers”, those who could hold out for two marshmallows, fared better in life. The “low-delayers” were 30 percent more likely to be overweight and suffer higher rates of drug addictions. WOW. Willpower is so important that using it effectively should be a high priority.

“The more we use our mind, the less minding power we have,” Gary writes. He also says that studies show that willpower is a mental muscle that doesn’t bounce back quickly. We assume that thinking doesn’t take many calories, but if our brain were a car, it would be a Hummer. It’s takes a lot of fuel to think.

Gary gives us these steps to put our willpower to work:

1. Don’t spread your willpower to thin. On any given day, we have a limited supply of willpower, so decide what is most important and reserve our willpower for that.
2.  Monitor our fuel gauges. Never let what matters most be compromised because our brains are under fueled.
3.  Time our tasks. Do what matters most first each day when our willpower is strongest.

Don’t fight your willpower, build your day around it. Then we will be able to count on it.

Still surprised!

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Find Your Niche

“Your profession is not what brings home your weekly paycheck, your profession is what you're put here on earth to do, with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.”

--Vincent Van Gogh

As I ended the Zoom call, I raised my arms in victory in my empty office and said out loud, “I was made for this!”  It fills me with joy when I am able to share my experience, strength and hope with others. You all know my background and it’s not pretty. If I can grow and change into someone who can be used to transform the lives of others, anyone can. Really, it’s true. I’m not patting myself on the back here…well, maybe a little…I want everyone to be able to find that sweet spot, their niche.  I want everyone to wake up joyfully because they’re going to work at what they love. Not that there aren’t difficult times, but the good one far outweigh the challenging times. 

 “Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” 
                                                                                                          –Confucius

                                                                                                                                Have you found your niche?  Are you working within your sweet spot? If you are, that’s fabulous and you know what I’m talking about! If you know what your niche is and aren’t working in it, start thinking about your transition. Suspend the need to know how you’re going to do it. What would your life look like if you were working within your niche? If we know our destination, mapping out the plan can be easier.  No matter whether it takes you six months or six years, put a plan together to get there.

If you haven’t found your niche, you need to do some research . What do you do that gives you joy? What were you passionate about as a child, but life got in your way?  What would you do if money were not an object?  What experiences have you had that ignited a fire within?  What makes your heart sing? Who would benefit from you living within your sweet spot besides you? 

Daydream…like you used to when you were a kid.  You might think your ideas are crazy. And they might be, for the you that you you are now. But you can grow into the person who can achieve your wildest dreams. I get excited just thinking about this for you!

Then launch! Whatever it takes! Take that first step in the direction of your future, no matter how small. Your plan doesn’t need to be perfect. You don’t have to have all the details. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re crazy, or that you can’t have what you want. Go for it!

When you find your niche and you begin to move toward it, you’ll be the one with your arms raised in the victory stance telling your spirit within, “I was made for t his!”  And you were.

Excitedly typed,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Begin With The End In Mind

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

--Oliver Wendall Holmes

Last night, I was chatting with my inner circle of powerful women about what we anticipated was going to transpire when this COVID19 quarantine was over. We all agreed that things were going to be different, but what changes did each of us need to make for us to succeed in the future? This is not just a question for the 6 of us women, but many people are asking themselves the same thing.  For some of us, events occurred  during this time which were considered as definite wake-up calls.

What about you? Have you pondered the changes you may need to make going forward?

There is a concept which comes from Steven Covey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”  In a nutshell, Covey suggests for us to take some quiet time and think deeply about what we would like people to say about us at our funeral. (Yeah…really…who wants to think about that now?) Seriously considering this, will bring us closer to what we really value.  Knowing our values may bring us a different definition of personal success for us. 

How often have we purchased what we thought was the perfect car for us and after seven car payments we realize the car was not a fit for our family? In the past, I hired a couple of people who seemed perfect for the job description, except for one minor flaw. That minor flaw created tension in the workplace and those employees had to be let go.  Or we venture into a relationship that ends up being not at all healthy for us. We all know people who have worked really hard, become successful, yet felt empty after they reached their goals.

If we know what we value and what is important to us, it will be the compass that daily keeps us on track.  If I value honesty, I won’t be tempted to embellish details so I look better. If I value my marriage, I will hold my husband in high esteem.  If I value family, I will not run after my vision at the expense of my relationships with them.  My values will give me a true north. Do I always succeed at trekking true north? I would love to say “yes,” but honesty is a character trait that I value:) My values direct my day.

Knowing what we value and what is really important to us will help us create a vision that will be truly fulfilling. On our journey to achieving our vision, when the bumps and distractions come…and they will…our values will keep us on track with integrity. 

In hopes of fulfilling our unique potential and creating our perfect vision going forward, maybe Covey’s exercise is an action we take. What would we want our loved ones–family, close friends, co-workers and church friends–to say about us at our funeral?  Get into our fat chair or our favorite quiet place and take some time to think into this.  Even if it takes us more than one sitting, discovering inner awareness of our values will tell us what we really want. 

If I can add value or assistance in your discovery, please contact me! 

Pondering, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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