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Your Path to Breakthroughs: Insights from Jan McDonald

From hopeless drunk to 30 years sober and helping hundreds of individuals and organizations unlock their ‘and then some’, I distill all the lessons gained from those transformational life experiences and share them with you in this space.

I invite you to explore these insights as way to help you breakthrough the challenges that are stopping you from becoming who you want to be.

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Our Minds Are Like Gardens

“Your thinking, more than anything else, shapes the way you live. It’s really true that if you change your thinking, you can change your life.”

--John Maxwell

In my former home, I spent many a Saturday sitting on my stone path pulling weeds and grass from among the Steppables, ground covers that you can walk on. I really didn’t mind doing this because gardening, including weed pulling is like Valium to me. It’s calming, gives me time to think and Truffle used to love it, too. 


While out there, I often thought of how much the stone path reminded me of my mind. No, not that I have rocks in my head, which maybe true sometimes, but what I sow in my mind is often what I reap in real life.


“How the mind is fed, shapes the life that’s led,” Christian Simpson (a former coaching mentor.)

Like the stone path, or any garden for that matter, it can be gorgeously cultivated or shamefully neglected. What we plant, grows. Just as I used to intentionally cultivate my stone path to keep it free from weeds, allowing the ornamentals to flower and flourish, I need to tend the garden of my mind.

If I don’t plant seeds of truth, growth, and possibility, an abundance of weed-like seeds of lack, limitation and mediocrity will take hold and continue to produce after their kind.

I can allow my current circumstances to permeate my mind garden and believe that “that’s just the way I am” or “that’s just the way it’s going to be,” or I can plant seeds of expectation of good things to come. I can sow seeds that will ultimately change my life.

I need to remember that my current circumstances do not define me. My current circumstances are the product of what I have been planting in these last years. The very cool part of all this is that I can weed my mind. I am lord over my thoughts and I can change them. And when I change what seeds go in, I change what I become without. Yippee!

To the right is a picture of the stone path. It was so beautiful, but it took constant vigilance to maintain that beauty. (The new owner took the plants out and rocked the whole path:(

So it is with our minds–it takes constant watchfulness and care.

What are you planting? What thoughts are you nourishing? How are you cultivating the rich, fertile soil of your best asset, your mind?

This is something for me to think about, as well, as I head out to plant the empty flower pots in my current home.

If you’re stuck struggling with old thoughts, I’m happy to coach you out of that struggle!

Thinking great thoughts,

Jan McDonald

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What Is Rule #6? How We Think Impacts Everything!

"Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

--Shakespeare

I pulled out a book by Wayne Dyer, “The Power Of Intention,” because I’m going over my 2025 goals.  I’ve also been writing about anxiety and leadership, so I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I “stumbled” on this chapter about living a stress-free life. AND it’s not a coincidence because I am living with a lot of unknowns these days. You know how unknowns used to paralyze me with fear. 

Wayne Dyer says that we were created to live fully alive and on purpose in a state of peace and joy. I happen to agree with him. Many of you know that I believe in God and He isn’t anything like I used to believe. Until I got to know Him, I thought he was this big guy who lived in heaven and really needed some anger management classes. He is nothing like that at all. If you don’t believe in God, just ignore this part, but He sent Jesus so that we could live life abundantly.  We can have abundant joy, peace, blessings and happiness. 

God is love, so everything that He does with us stems out of His love for us. He wants us to love Him back out of our own volition. We are not robots, He has given us choice.  He has given us the power to choose our thoughts.  That is why I thought this chapter was so powerful.  Whether you believe in God or not, you have the power to choose your thoughts.

Back to Wayne Dyer’s book.  In this chapter, he writes, “There’s no actual stress or anxiety in the world, it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.” Read that sentence again and ponder it. 

You may be wondering about all the bad that is transpiring in the world, like murder, rape, abuse and the like.  What about that?  I don’t want to negate the awfulness of some things that have happened or can happen to us. BUT, let’s talk about our everyday normal life. 
 

Think about the things that make you anxious. Stop
and think about them. 


I’ll give you a personal example. Up until recently, when I had a workshop or speaking engagement in my calendar, I couldn’t sleep well for a couple nights prior.  It didn’t matter how much I prepared or how well I thought the presentation was written, sleep eluded me. What the heck? What was this all about?  This is my life–I don’t want to be a sleepless zombie.

I reflected on it and came to the insight that it was about ego. I wanted to look good. I was afraid of failing. What if I do something stupid?  What if they don’t have fun? What if they don’t think the time spent with me was  worth it? What if…what if…okay, what if? If I have done my best, I have no control over their response. Although, I really like to think I do:)  If I do something stupid, I can laugh with them. It won’t be the first time. I found that my thinking was all about me. And THAT is hilarious, because I am not presenting for me, I am there to serve them and to add value to THEIR life. Geesh. 

Our natural state is tranquility and peace, but when we try to control those things that we have no control over, or think stressful thoughts, that’s what causes the anxiety.  The cure? Consider Rule #6. 

“Two prime ministers are sitting in a room discussing affairs of state. Suddenly a man bursts in, apoplectic with fury, shouting and stamping and banging his fist on the desk. The resident prime minister admonishes him: “Peter,” he says, “kindly remember Rule Number 6,” whereupon Peter is instantly restored to complete calm, apologizes, and withdraws. The politicians return to their conversation, only to be interrupted yet again twenty minutes later by a hysterical woman gesticulating wildly, her hair flying. Again the intruder is greeted with the words: “Marie, please remember Rule Number 6.” Complete calm descends once more, and she too withdraws with a bow and an apology. When the scene is repeated for the third time, the visiting prime minister addresses his colleague: “My dear friend, I’ve seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as this. Would you be willing to share with me the secret of Rule Number 6?”

“Very simple,” replies the resident prime minister. “Rule Number 6 is ‘Don’t take yourself so g—dang seriously.”

“Ah,” says his visitor, “that is a fine rule.”

After a moment of pondering, he inquires, “And what, may I ask, are the other rules?”

“There aren’t any.”  (This is from a book called “The Art of Possibility, ” by The Zanders)

When you feel anxious or stressed this week, consider your thoughts.  How are you thinking about the issue that is stressing you?  Is it in your control?  Is there a different way you can look at it? 

Constantly changing my thinking,

Jan

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Got Persistence?

“Press on: nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

-- Calvin Coolidge

My hubby and I have been living through a health challenge since Thanksgiving. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but it’s been a grind. We have persisted and are finally getting answers and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

I’ve been reminded of mile 10 in the Big Sur marathon. It’s a 5% grade uphill to Hurricane point. Having driven the course the night before, I knew that hill was more than a mile long.  It looks really steep at the bottom, believe me. I took a deep breath, focused on the road directly in front of me and just ground it out to the top. That success gave me the impetus to finish strong. I knew if I could run up that–I could run anything.

Sometimes leadership and life feels like that, doesn’t it?  Whether you’re the CEO of a large corporation or non-profit or the parent of a family, sometimes we just have to put our head down and face what’s directly in front of us…one step at a time…until we reach our goal. 

Persistence is a driving trait of a strong leader.  It is the ability to continue to move forward toward our goals in spite of tremendous obstacles or set backs. Persistence helps us confront complications and yet still keep our perspective.

 When we face obstacles, challenges or even failure, persistence is the ability to face them with the determination and tenacity to find a solution. As leaders, we are the ones who set the tone for those we lead.  Isn’t this the behavior that we want to see in those we lead?  If we are raising up other leaders, we want them to learn to persist until they solve the problem.  Our persistence establishes a set of expectations for our teams.  They learn to expect to solve problems on their own and they develop a “can do” attitude because of that expectation.

We are programmed to give up or take the easier route. But grinding out the best solution builds character and helps grow into our full potential.  Persevering develops our talent and self-esteem for the next challenge that we face. It makes us stronger, hence it makes those we lead stronger.

Life may be easy…but that’s only if we are living inside of our comfort zone. Who wants to stay there? It’s not very fun or exciting. Leaders live on the edge. Leaders push the envelope …most of the time. Yes, there are times, when I want the couch and my blankie–but those times don’t last long anymore. Practicing persistence can become a habit, because of the positive effects it has on us and other in our lives.

Persistence gives us the ability to remain consistent even in the face of challenges and difficulties. Consistency provides stability to those who follow because they know what they can expect from the leader and they know what is expected from them.

The last thought on persistence; Those who develop the habit of persistence  seem to enjoy insurance against failure.  No matter how many times we may be defeated, persistence enables us to get up and give it another go.  No matter how smart, educated or talented we are, a goal or vision of any great stature will not be achieved without persistence. Nothing takes the place of persistence.

Have you developed the habit of persistence? Are you modeling that for those you lead?

Persisting,

Jan

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Imagination Is So Important!

“The imagination is literally the workshop wherein are fashioned all plans created by man.”

--Napolean Hill

Imagination is what allows us to create a life we wish we had.  By exercising that magnificent mental muscle, we can change our life’s outcome through our creative imagination by taking a moment and really imagining what it is we want – with clear details and practicing this everyday until what was once an idea becomes our reality. 

Without imagination we wouldn’t have all of the things around us.  Take the light bulb; Thomas Edison worked diligently on perfecting a commercially manufactured light bulb.  He imagined that it was possible and eventually achieved success.  He has been quoted as saying “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  What if he had not used his imagination and believed in the possibility? 

When my coaching clients learn and practice this, they have amazing breakthroughs!

Napolean Hill devotes a whole chapter to imagination in his book, “Think and Grow Rich.”  While we can imagine all sorts of fabulous dreams and scenes in our minds, I think we forget that we can use our imagination in a negative way–when we worry.  Worry is when we focus on a future negative. We often focus on and imagine those particular negative scenarios taking place in our lives.

And the funny thing is, those events, circumstances, and conditions haven’t even transpired yet, and we don’t even know if they ever will.  Ninety percent of the things we worry about never happen anyway.  But we so often worry ourselves sick (quite literally), imagining all the possible negative scenarios that could play out.

What are you worried about today? If you stop for a moment and reflect on what it is you’re thinking about. Are you focused on what you want in your life, or are you focused on the exact opposite; on what you don’t want to happen? 

As Napoleon Hill said, and I truly believe, “your only limitation in life is in the development and use of your imagination.” Why not develop your imagination and focus on what you truly desire in your life–because what we focus on grows and multiplies. 

Imagining a warm, sandy beach in 2025,

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Margin? What the Heck is That?

The best things in life are written in the margins.”

--Christa Sterken

In today’s world, margin is more essential than ever because of the blistering pace of life, constant demands, and relentless noise that drain our time, energy, and focus. We book every minute of every day and try to maximize productivity. Unfortunately, booking every minute only makes you busy, not productive. And on top of that, it’s just not sustainable. It might seem like a good idea, but it doesn’t allow you to give your best.  Since energy is a finite resource, if we don’t manage our margin as a priority, we get decision fatigue, we may be impatient with others, downloading negative energy onto others. 
 

What is margin? The magical space between “I’ve got this” and “I’m about to lose my mind.” It’s the breathing time in your life that gives us time to recharge and renew. 
 

Margin improves your emotional intelligence, gives you needed think time and renews your energy. John Maxwell says to leave 20% of your calendar for free time.  That seems like a lot. When we discover the benefits of leaving breathing room in our lives, we just might change our minds…I did. 

Here are a few benefits and this is the short list: 

1.  Mentally–reduces stress, burnout and overwhelm and increases clarity and focus.
2.  Relationally–reduces reactive communication and fosters thoughtful responses
3. Physically–reduces the impact of chronic stress on the body
4.  Margin increase productivity and creativity
5.  Enhances overall life satisfaction by focusing on what truly matters

How ARE you feeling these days? 

Here are a few really easy things that are restorative for our lives:

  • Get outside and be grateful for the beauty.
  • Instead of running from one task to the next, take a minute and breathe deeply. Drop your shoulders and relax. 
  • Eliminate hurry (oh, that feels sooooo good.)
  • Learn to say “no.”
  • Eat healthy, exercise and get enough sleep. (yes, make time for that.)

In essence, margin is not about doing less; it’s about creating space for what’s most important–YOU!  It enables you to lead with intentionality, connection, and impact rather than constantly reacting to life’s demands.

Where do you feel you need more margin in your life right now?

Need some help prioritizing what you value to create margin?  I’m an email away!

You’re welcome, 

Jan

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Laughter, The Best Medicine

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”

--Phyllis Diller

How important is humor?  Don’t ask a humor researcher because they are already fighting an uphill battle to get the respect they deserve.

Seriously, with all the interesting stuff going on in our lives–I spent some time this week whining.  I was reminded that the apostle Paul wrote Philippians, the “Joy” chapter in the Bible, when he was in prison.”  That made me laugh…and I realized that I had let circumstances control my attitude.

Yep, prison in Bible times was horrendous. Many times the prisoners were chained to the wall, or worse yet, a guard. There were rats, diseases and no central air or heat. I am assuming they didn’t get a nice warm bath in a garden tub everyday, either. If you read through that book, Paul writes about joy and rejoicing numerous times.

We all know it is much easier to love an funny, happy person than it is to love a sad, grumpy, miserable person. Happiness, laughter, humor and joy just make a relationship easier.  When we are down, we want someone positive in our lives to lift us up out of our rut, and maybe even make us laugh.

Laughter is the best medicine. Laughing not only improves our mental state, it has been proven to benefit our circulation, lungs and muscles. Laughter boosts the immune system, protects the heart and burns calories. It triggers the release of endorphins, which are the bodies “feel-good” chemicals. Did you know that laugher is one of the first things a newborn exhibits?  (I found that on the internet–it has to be true.)

Speaking of funny…in 2017, the other year of eternal snow, I went home at noon from work to get lunch. I had on a dress, tights, boots and my black, hooded, faux fur coat.  I couldn’t get my car up the driveway because it had snowed that morning. I grabbed a shovel so I could clean a path to drive my car up into the garage to keep it warm.  I didn’t realize that under that snow, was a sheet of ice. The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back, dress and coat over my head, the shovel flying to the end of the driveway! (Go ahead, take some time and picture that in your head.) I was mortified! As I struggled to get up…very quickly…I started to laugh so hard, that I slipped again.

I don’t recall if anyone saw me. I am sure that fiasco would have been a winner on Funniest Home videos. I never did get the car up the drive either. But if that didn’t make you laugh, here are some quotes that may:

“I am thankful for laughter, except when the milk comes out of my nose.”  Woody Allen

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” Jim Carrey

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.” Henny Youngman

“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”  Mae West

“If you can’t remember my name, just say “Chocolate” and I’ll turn around.”  I don’t know who said that.

“When I try on an outfit and it doesn’t make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don’t deserve to be hung up. Sit there alone and think about what you’ve done.”  Nobody would take credit for this one, either.

“People need to understand the difference between wants and needs. Like I want abs, and I need tacos.” Unanimous. Or is it anonymous. Whatever.

“Today, I will be as useless as the “G” in lasagna.”  That’s a good one for a Monday.

I had a blast looking for funny quotes that I could actually share in this email.  They made me laugh and I hope I brought a smile to your Monday. Inject some humor into your life today. Don’t take things so seriously. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Smile. Laugh. Enjoy life, because you never get out of it alive. 

Laughing.

Jan

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The Great Detachment

"Employees could be struggling...that's a leadership issue...we have the solution."

--Perry Holley

This morning, I listened to a Maxwell Leadership podcast about “The Great Detachment,” which provided eye-opening insights into the challenges many organizations are facing. Over the past three years, companies have undergone massive and rapid changes. Economic pressures have led to tighter budgets and increased workloads for employees. In hybrid work environments, ineffective communication often exacerbates these issues, resulting in detachment, decreased productivity, and heightened anxiety. These factors are key drivers behind “The Great Detachment” and the growing prevalence of workplace anxiety.

In November, I facilitated a workshop for a government entity on Managing Workplace Anxiety. With today’s fast-paced, ever-evolving job market, employees often grapple with fears of job insecurity, keeping up with new technologies and processes, or adapting to management changes. These challenges can severely impact productivity, well-being and engagement, as well. 

A significant contributor to both workplace anxiety and employee detachment is the lack of clear, defined expectations. When employees don’t know what’s expected of them, it creates uncertainty, undermining confidence and connection to their roles.

I would like to offer one solution from my workshop to the uncertainty of expections which can cause anxiety and detachment: 

When we train a new employee, make sure that their job description is well defined and you have gone through it thoroughly with that new employee. Here are five steps to provide them with clearcut expectations:

1. You learn the task with your standards of excellence and they watch you do it. I know this sounds simple, but as a CEO, a lot of my daily work was in my head. Until I wrote my job description in detail, I didn’t remember all the steps needed to get my job done. Therefore, I couldn’t teach it thoroughly. 

2. You both do the task or job together. When you do this with them, you show them exactly what you expect and the results that you want.

3. Then you allow them to do the job and you watch. Provide feedback during this time so they know ALL of your expectations. Answer all the questions they may have. By this time, your new hire should demonstrate competence to proceed to the next step. 

4. You set them free to do the job on their own, checking back for your employee’s performance.  Periodically, check their progress to make sure they are meeting your standards. Continually provide support where they may need it to reinforce expectations and future success.

While these steps are time-consuming, my experience has shown that clear expectations promote greater engagement, productivity and significantly reduce anxiety. Even better, I’ve often found that employees return with innovative, more streamlined ways of doing things—ideas I might never have considered on my own!

Please email me if you have any questions!

Jan

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January 10, 2025 is National Quitters Day

“A New Year, a New You is possible. Decide who you want to be and go after that. "

--Jan McDonald

January 10th is National Quitter’s Day; the day that most people abandon their New Year’s Resolutions. 

Wow. We don’t often keep our resolutions. Why is that?  In my humble opinion there are two reasons:

1. We don’t change our mindset around the goal we are seeking. If we don’t think differently about the behavior, we will continue behaving the same way. It’s habitual and that’s the way your mind likes it. Your mind hates change because change is hard. Habit is easy…okay, unless we’re trying to create new ones:)

2. We don’t have someone to whom we can be accountable. That reason comes from the people I coach. AND I’ve experienced that. I have to remind myself often regarding the actions that I committed to that will get me closer to who I want to be. I know that my coach is going to keep me accountable for my results. 

I’m sure there’s more reasons why we don’t keep our resolutions.

Close your eyes and imagine for a moment what it would look like with your goal achieved. How would you feel? What would you look like? What would you be able to think about without the constant mental struggle regarding your goal? What does your perfect health look and feel like? Who would you become?  Oh…wouldn’t it be great? 

Before I give you a solution that I have for these reasons, I want to give you a worksheet that you can use to help you with your visioning for 2023. If your future vision is clear enough, it can pull you forward into your New You. Please email me back and I’m happy to send this worksheet to you.

I don’t sell often in these emails, because I just want to add value to you. However, I have found that if there’s no skin in the game, the game doesn’t often get played. I wanted to launch “Your Next Big Move–From Stuck to Soaring” on January 17th, but I got too busy to promote it. I’m going to start that February 5 instead. If you are tired of setting goals that never seem to stick or if you already abandoned your 2025 resolutions, this masterclass is for you.  In four weeks, we will shift your mindset and give you the tools to break through barriers, craft a clear vision, and take actionable steps toward achieving your dreams. Stop wishing and start doing—this is the change you’ve been waiting for.

Click here for more information: https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/your-next-big-move

I am passionate about your freedom and success in life. We all have so much to offer, if only we would step into the abundant life for which we were created. What would it be worth to you to finally triumph over that “thing” that holds you captive? What would it be worth for you to achieve a goal that you really desire?  I know how it feels…and it’s good. I want you to feel that, too. You deserve it.

Jan

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Families Are Like Fudge

"𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬."

--Anonymous

𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥. When you put different people together from different backgrounds, with different expectations–well…sometimes it’s hard to know how to handle it.

My younger brother, Dave Bayer, has a quote that I love, “Our family puts the fun in dysfunctional.” AND that’s true! Here’s how I put the fun in dysfunctional for the holidays.

𝟏. 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐧-𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 🔆𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. It’s the other family member’s deal. It’s their past that they haven’t worked through that is speaking. It can really be kind of painful at times, but 99% of the time this strategy works to keep my emotions on an even keel.

On this note, I don’t push any buttons, 🔆🔆either. Well…my intent is not to push buttons, but sometimes people’s buttons change and they don’t tell me…until those button pushing words are out of my mouth. Then I have to apologize and I do that quickly.

𝟐. 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠. 💭We know each family member really well, or so we think we do. I used to think I knew what they were thinking, (see #1 above) but I am not the same person that I was last year. What makes me think that they are?

So I ask lots of open ended questions. I get really curious. I don’t assume anymore (I used to) that I understand everything or everyone, so I ask for clarification, elaboration or whatever I need to grasp the conversation clearly.

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬.

𝟑. 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 👀𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞. What we say only accounts for 7% of what is believed by others. The way we say it accounts for 38%. What they see accounts for 56%. Ninety percent of the impression we often convey had nothing to do with what we actually say.

𝟒. 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. Maybe we think there isn’t any, but we’re family for Pete’s sake. We need to close down our cell phones, doodling, fidgeting, whatever else is distracting and concentrate totally on what the other person is saying. Move out of our little world and into theirs. Listen for their feelings, as well. Listen to the words behind the words. THAT can only be done when you are focused🔎🔎 on the other person. We may be surprised at what we do have in common.

𝟓. 𝐒𝐮𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. My mentor told me that the need to be right can be a splinter to our souls…and to our relationships. I am not going to change anyone’s mind in one day. Value the relationship over the need to be right. (Yeah, this is a tough one:)

Politically, socially and spiritually, my family is as different as the day is long. But like my son always says after a heated political discussion, “𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭.” 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡.

Merry Christmas! 🎁🎁🎄🎄

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The Law of Reflection

"The object of reflection is invariably the discovery of something satisfying to the mind which was not there at the beginning of the search."

--Ernest Dimnet

The leadership Law of Reflection teaches us that learning to pause allows growth to catch up with us. I’m writing about this today because I’m stuck in the airport for the next 5 hours and I’m thinking. This morning in my quiet time, I felt this inner tension to chuck it and move forward quickly into my day. It’s Thanksgiving weekend and the airports are supposedly crowded. Will I get there on time today? What if I miss my flight? The airport is two hours away…will there be road construction? Will my flight home end up like last year…stuck all night in Seattle because of fog in Pasco? 

Some things were out of my control and I started to feel grumpty. Wait…I’ve done this before. And you know that I have been striving to view unknowns as adventure. Had I skipped that time of reflection, I would have run those negative thoughts around my head like a horse in a corral. Skipping the short time-outs that allow me to catch my breath during the day, that makes life even more chaotic. 

Usually that chaos manifests itself in my relationships. I don’t take time to nourish them and be present in them. My mind is moving too fast toward the future to do that. Not good, not good at all. I only had a week with my kids and I didn’t want to end that on a crabby note. 

There is an old joke that experience is a hard teacher because the test is given first and the lesson is given afterward. Ha. Ha. After a huge problem or challenge, it is so easy for me to say, “I am sooooo glad that’s over! Whew!”  I have found that a much better thing to say is, “what can I learn from it?”  If we don’t take the time to evaluate or reflect on the experience, we may never learn the lesson intended for us.


“Experience is not the best teacher…evaluated experience is.”
John Maxwell.


As leaders, most of us are so busy trying to keep up with the demands of our lives, that we don’t take the time to reflect on our lives. We are so action oriented that we neglect to take the time to think. Some times we can miss what John calls “life markers.” These are important events that can really signal a time for transition,change or transformation. We can miss the significance of these experiences for us.

Lack of reflection can also cause us to not learn from a failure or mistake.  If we don’t learn from those, we can repeat them. An evaluated failure or mistake can transform into a valuable learning tool. Our failures and mistakes can actually make us better!

Conversely, reflecting on our successes, blessings and on the things we did right, can make us happy. Reflecting on the good in our lives also makes us grateful. Being grateful causes joy! Without reflecting on the good we’ve done, it’s easy for us to forget about the success and focus on our failures.

Henri J. M. Nouwen observed, “When you are able to create a lonely place in the middle of your actions and concerns, your successes and failures slowly can lose some of their power over you.”

Pausing with intention expands and enriches our thinking. Study the lives of people who have had tremendous impact on the world and you will find that many of them spent a considerable amount of time thinking.

Steve Jobs took time in the morning, no matter what time he woke up to re-evaluate his work and desires. He looked in the mirror and asked, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” If the answer was “no” for far too long, he would change something.

Benjamin Franklin would eat dinner at 5:00, listen to music, have quiet conversation and then reflect on his day before going to bed at 10:00.

Find a place to think and discipline yourself to pause, even if it’s a small block of time. It has the potential to change your life and can help you figure out what’s really important and what isn’t.

This morning, I made a course correction and took the time to reflect on my feelings. I let go of those things that I couldn’t control. I’m grateful I did. I shared my anticipation (anxieties:) with my daughter, who was my ride to the airport and she said, “Man, Mom, I get that. Let’s go early.”  

Because I took the time to pause and reflect, I was able to pass the test once again. 

Peacefully typed,

Jan

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Let Go Of The Old

"When you let go, you create space for something better.”

--Anonymous

I love fall. It’s one of the most beautiful and mysterious seasons. We can look at the exact same kind of trees all in a row and some of the leaves have turned and some haven’t. How does that happen? The reds and the golds of the leaves that are changing and falling are just spectacular! The trees are letting go of this year’s leaves so they can sleep and refuel for next year’s growth.


Fall is a time of change, a time for nature to let go of the old and begin to prepare for the new.  It’s the time of year where I begin to look at my warddrobe and start to cull the items that I don’t wear or don’t like any more.  

I can’t get rid of that sweater! It belonged to Mom.  (Yes, and she passed away in 2012. I’ve been struggling to let go of this sweater for years.) And the faux fur, black, hooded jacket that I bought when I visited my sister in Cleveland. That jacket is soooo warm, but the wrists on the sleeves are a bit worn. Oh, yeah, the shoes that hurt my toes, and I can only wear them for about an hour…but they were expensive.  I have five purses in my closet which I will probably never use again…but you never know…I had the most awesome blue swede platform clogs that I finally took to Goodwill and now they’re back in style. When you get to be my age, everything comes back in style at one time or another. 

This just makes me laugh. I’m committing to you that I’m cleaning out my closet this week of stuff that no longer serves me.  I get rid of old, limiting mindsets, why is it so difficult with clothes?  Like leaves on my maple, they’ll be on the ground soon to prepare for the new. 

My question to you is, what are you hanging on to that needs to be shed so you can prepare to bring in the new?  What leaves are hanging on your tree that are bursting with the red and gold of letting go, so you can embrace the new?  What old thinking patterns need to change so that new you can spring forth into the next year?

Need help letting go of some old to make room for the new?  I’m just an email away.

Anticipating the new,


Jan

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Beauty is A Gift–Stop and Take Notice

"Beauty rescues...because it is merciful, comforting...it heals, restores, revives, renews."

--John Eldridge

I’m reading a book by John Eldridge called, “Get Your Life Back.” The book is about the mad pace and the number of demands on our life. Most of the time we plow through life, getting stuff done, and don’t stop to take a breath and live in the present.  This has left us rattled, burned out and empty.  People I talk with are experiencing these feelings in these uncertain times. 

Eldridge provides some practical, simple and refreshing tools to help us take our lives back from the chaos. John is a Christian author and if you want, you can ignore the Bible references, because anyone can employ these tools for a more peaceful existence. 

One of those tools is the power of beauty. On my way to hike Badger Mountain this morning, I thought I would put this gift of beauty into practice. I focused on the beauty in my world; the amazing fall colors on the trees, the formation of geese in flight, the light fog on the river, the beauty of the songs on the radio. 

That was just on the way there! The scenic view half way up the mountain stopped me in my tracks.  As I fumbled for my phone in the pocket of my down jacket to take a picture, I stopped and took a deep breath. After I took the above picture, I did what John suggested:

1.  I let the beauty minister to me and received it as a gift.
2.  I took another deep breath and received the beauty into my soul. 

I was filled with joy and peace at the same time. This may sound kind of new-ageish and woowoo to some of you…until you try it. Beauty comforts and heals. Why else would we send flowers to a hospital room or a funeral?  Research shows that patients recovered more quickly, needed fewer pain killers, and left the hospital sooner if their windows allowed views of nature ( Harvard Medicine, Winter 2015.)

My challenge to you is to slow down and take in the beauty that saturates your life. It’s all around you. Notice it. Take time to breath it in, appreciate and receive it. You will find that it does restore and bring you joy and peace. 

May you be blessed with the gift of beauty this week, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

Follow me on facebook for more enlightening information:) @janmariemcdonald

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Are You Thinking About It?

"I strongly encourage you to find a place to think and to discipline yourself to pause and use it, because it has the potential to change your life."

--John Maxwell

I went briefly to another piece of equipment in my gym workout one morning. When I came back, this big buff guy was using the bench that I was using. There was another of the same kind of bench next to the one I was using, so I just went to that one. Realizing he had taken my spot, Mr. Buff apologized and we struck up a conversation while we worked out on neighboring benches.

Mr. Buff told me that he was struggling with finding a vocation in which he could find fulfillment. The job that he had now paid the bills but his passion was elsewhere. “But there’s really no money in this geographical area for what I desire to do,” he sighed.

“Have you thought about this?  What about that? And have you really spent time asking yourself how you could make money in this area doing what you love?” These were a few of the questions I asked him.

He put the gazillion pound dumbbells on the floor next to my 10 pounders, paused, and looked directly at me and said, “I haven’t thought of it like that before. I think my thinking has limited me…I need to really think about this when I leave here. Thank you.”

I knew what questions to ask him, because I have been where he is (and my coaching training has taught me questions to ask.) For a couple of months, an opportunity was staring me right in the face. I was too busy wondering if I could make the opportunity work for me.  I didn’t think I could afford it. I certainly didn’t have time for it. But when I paused to think, and asked myself questions about how I could do it, many avenues opened up for me to take advantage of the chance!

In the ”15 Invaluable Law of Growth,”  John Maxwell Talks about the power of the pause. We’ve all heard it said that experience is the best teacher. NOT! If we don’t take time to reflect on our experiences, we won’t learn from our successes or our failures.

We all have had important experiences that stop us in our tracks, didn’t we? Someone said something to us and it makes us really think. We made a mistake and we just blew it off, only to continue to make the same mistake over and over again. Or an opportunity came our way, and since we didn’t take the time to evaluate whether that opportunity is a great fit for us, we missed it altogether.

Mr. Buff made a life change soon after that conversation in the gym. After thinking about the opportunity that was staring me in the face, I made a life change, as well. 

Has there been an opportunity staring you in the face that you aren’t sure about? Is there an issue that causes a struggle and you haven’t found a solution? Is there an unsolved problem at work?  Are you not sure what your next steps are?

Be intentional in scheduling some time to reflect. Ask yourself some questions around the issue. Write your answers. Stay in the questions until you find your solution. You may not find your answer in one sitting, but if you continue to take time to reflect, you will come up with your answer. 

If you need some help with questions to ask, I’m just an email away. 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

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You CAN Rewrite Your Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

--C.S. Lewis

“Girls don’t go to college.”  I heard my dad say this to my sister when I was seven years old. She was 16 and really wanted to go to college. That was my dad’s final answer.  Back in the day, we didn’t question Dad…well, not at my age anyway.  But I had questions in my own mind; Why? Why don’t girls go to college?  I knew boys went to college because I had a couple of cousins that we going at the time.  Are girls not smart enough, good enough? That thought went into my young mind as a belief that if girls didn’t go to college, they must not be “good enough.” That was the story I told myself.

“She’s too little. There’s no way she can help us win.”  That  what the other kids said about me on the playground. I was always chosen last, if I was chosen at all. My teacher, Miss James, would often make them choose me and that choice was accompanying by groans and jeers.  AND I was too short for the longest time to get on the ferris wheel at Euclid Beach amusement part. I believed that being little wasn’t “good enough” either. 

Wow, two strikes against me–being a girl and being little–and there were more. Our beliefs, positive and negative, are put into our minds when we’re young. Often, well-meaning people say things that are not intended to be negative, but impact our lives just the same. Our experiences and perceptions of them can contribute to the stories that we tell ourselves, as well.

These beliefs impact our self image in such a way that we may sabotage our success until we uncover them and change them.  Our self image is composed of beliefs that we hold about ourselves.  I’ve studied and facilitated classes on self image and the truth is that we never out perform our self image. We can’t become more than we believe we can. 

The awesome part about all of this is that these beliefs  and stories can be rewritten. Dr. Caroline Lead, a neuroscientist, says this, “Regardless of the ways we have chosen to react in the past, painful toxic thoughts can be reconceptualized and reconstructed.”  It’s true and that has been my experience! 

When we choose and envision the new person we desire to be, we can begin to transform into the best person and have the best life we desire.

Imagine…imagine entering into 2025, with a newly revised story, a story that belongs to your best you. I get excited just thinking about it! 

What stories are you telling yourself? What belief or beliefs are holding you back? Is there a place in your life where you are struggling or just feel stuck? Envision your new story!

Who do you desire to be? Then go ahead and rewrite…because you can…it IS YOUR story.

If you need help with this, I’m an email away! Nothing makes my happy dance more than helping individuals change and out grow those beliefs and perceptions that may be holding them back!

Excitedly typed, 

Jan

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Go Ahead–Make The Leap!

“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.”

Proverbs

There’s one thing I LOVE about this image below…

It’s not the fact that this mountain goat is about to make a massive leap, that if done wrong, could alter the rest of his life…

It’s not the fact that he even had enough faith to do so!

What I do love is this…

His eyes are focused on one thing only – his final destination. 

He’s not looking down wondering if he’s going to fall to his death. He’s not looking behind him regretting the decision he made, wondering what would happen if he took a different route to his final destination.  His focus is on one thing only – the other side. 

Often times in life, we finally get the courage to make a big leap (whatever that may look like). Then hours, days, weeks, or even months later, find ourselves looking down…

Looking behind…

Or even looking beside…

Second guessing our decision and wanting to retreat back to the point of our departure won’t move us forward to what we truly want.
.
If you have decided to make a leap in your life, here’s your reminder to keep your head forward and your focus ahead – despite what you may be dealing with in the present.

It will be so worth it in the end.

If you want to make a leap and need some encouragement with your focus, I’m just an email away.

Focusing forward, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team
509-643-1596

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The Art of Asking Great Questions

"The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge."

--Thomas Berger

Leadership is about influence and relationships.  When the leadership level is high, the leader is able to cast the vision, set the strategy and because of the leader’s influence, the followers follow. If the leadership ability is low, the followers look to the leader for answers to questions before proceeding.
 
Management is different. It is about making the leader’s vision happen. Managers influence people to accomplish the vision of the leader.  Managers work hard to get others to do things. 
 
As former CEO of Life Options, when the staff would ask questions, I would give them the answer and go on my merry way.  This was much easier than taking the time out of my crazy schedule to explain the answer. This worked well when there were only two staff and one building.
 
The more the organization grew, the more questions I answered. I really noticed this question answering challenge when we opened our second center in another town in 2009.
 
When I began applying leadership principles, things really changed. When my staff would ask a question, instead of the easy way of telling them the answer, I would ask them a question back:
 
“What do you think we could do?”
“What do you think a good solution would be?”
“How do you think we should handle that?”
 
If it was a legal or medical question to which I didn’t know the answer, I would ask them if they knew who to call or email to get the right answer.  If they didn’t know who to call or email–I would give them that information.  At first, I suffered control freak withdrawals and my staff wondered where their old boss went.
 
I had set a standard for excellence and they knew what was expected, but because I had always given them the answer, they didn’t really trust themselves. As we continued with this new way of problem solving, they began to realize that I was going to answer their question with a question.  They thought of the solution before they came to talk to me. The conversations were more like this;
 
“Hey, I have this challenge and this is what I thought would be a good solution. What do you think of this?” More often than not, my staff began to come up with better questions and the best answer. They began to take on more responsibility and became more efficient at their jobs.  The bonus? Sometimes, they had better ideas than I would have ever thought of!!! AND I got my life back.

Developing and modeling leadership skills is contagious, as is the art of asking questions. Those you lead will watch you grow and believe that they can do that also. As they grow and become leaders themselves, occupational burnout can become a symptom of the past.

Curiously typed,

Jan

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