Technology can bring out the worst in me. On Friday morning, I had a couple of challenges that highjacked my positive attitude. The Head Trash began. “This shouldn’t be this hard, you’re just old.” “These instructions are so simple, you aren’t smart enough.” “You’re not good enough.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised, as I am often tested in the areas in which I teach. I just taught on self-talk the night before in my Powerful Self Image webinar. I didn’t remember that because my body was in fight mode and I wasn’t thinking clearly. 

After a half day of bad attitude and snarky comments in my head, Truffle and I dropped everything and headed out to do yard work in the sun with a bag of Skittles (a feel good drug of choice:) 

As I clipped back the dead lavender and threw the clippings in the garbage can, I realized that was what I needed to do with my Head Trash. Clip it off and throw it in the garbage. It occurred to me then that I had just taught that concept the night before. The light in my head went on and I sat there in the sun with Truffle and started to laugh. I opened the Skittles and poured them in the trash, too. 

That Head Trash circling in my head is not true about me. That is not who I am. (NO, 69 is not old. It’s the new 49.) I am smart, I am good enough. In fact, I am complete in Jesus, not lacking anything. God sees me as perfect (Ephesians 1:4,5) and I need to agree with His vision. WOW! That changes everything. 

I don’t need Skittles, or anything else to make me feel better. I have emotions; I don’t let them have me. (okay, not very often.) I get to choose my thoughts and attitude. I’m grateful that those times where I let those nasty voices in my head get the better of me are fewer and farther in between. 

There remains no accusing voice…we do it to ourselves…or is it just me? 

Oh yeah, when I went back to the technology challenges with a fresh perspective and positive mindset, I figured them out…quickly. 

Still learning, 

Jan

We have a hard time being successful with other people if we haven’t paid the price of success with ourselves. The Law of Awareness is kind of a catch 22. We have to know who we are to grow our potential, but we have to grow in order to know who we are.

We aren’t going to live a different life or become a different person than we are now, without growing. I heard Darrin Hardy of Success magazine say on a CD some time ago,  ” If you want to get out of debt, you have to change the thinking that got you into debt.”

It’s because of paradigms or the way we see things. Some of these paradigms we grew up with.  For simplicity sake, let’s compare paradigms to maps. Suppose we want to go to a place in Chicago, but the map that we have was mistakenly labeled Detroit. Imagine our frustration of trying to get to our destination.  We could change our behavior we could try harder or double our speed to get there, but our efforts would only succeed in getting us to the wrong place faster.

We could work on our attitude— we could think more positively.  We wouldn’t get to the right place, but we’d be happy where ever we ended up. The point is, we’d still be lost. Our challenge has nothing to do with behavior or attitude.  It has everything to do with having the wrong map or paradigm in our heads.

We have many maps in our heads, with which we see everything. We interpret everything through these mental maps and we seldom question their accuracy. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they are or the way they should be. Our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions.

To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little until we examine the basic paradigms or maps from which these behaviors flow. 

We see the world, not as it is,
but as we are, or as we are conditioned to see it.

If we don’t know ourselves and don’t have mastery over ourselves, it’s very hard to like ourselves.  Self-respect comes from this dominion over self and awareness of our deepest wants, needs and desires.

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or do, but what/who we are. The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves. Leading ourselves well opens up opportunities for building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with others. Our tendency is to project out of our own paradigms what we think other people will want or need. What if those paradigms are a bit skewed, which is normal in most people’s lives?

It starts within.  We have to know ourselves to grow ourselves. When we begin to lead ourselves well and become aware of where we lack awareness of limiting beliefs that can impact relationships, others respond in ways we never thought possible.

Keep on growing,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I was watching the wild card game the other night—the Arizona Cardinals against the Los Angeles Rams.

Matthew Stafford has been a quarterback for 13 years and had yet to win a playoff game. It was hard to see how good he was when he played for the Detroit Lions. When the Rams made him the highest paid quarterback in the NFL, people had their doubts…and they were quite vocal about their unbelief.

At the beginning of the game, the sports commentators were giving all of his negative stats and were doubtful that he could win. The twitter feed about him less than edifying. They even mentioned all of his negative stats TO HIM in the pre-game interview and asked him how he felt about it! 

I said to the T.V. “What are you doing? This is one of the biggest games of his life and you are wanting him to talk about the possible head trash he may have? Do you even want him to win?”

Matthew’s answer, “Every time I step on the field, I’m proving myself. Whether it’s a preseason game, a regular season game, practice, a playoff game, I want to go out there and play well. This is just another opportunity to do that. This is a team game. There is no question. But, at the same time, do I know that when the quarterback plays a good game, you got a better chance to win the game? Absolutely. So, I’m always trying to go out there and play as good of football as I possibly can to help our team win.”

Then Matthew added, with a bit of a laser look in his eyes, “It’s positive pressure that I put on myself to go out there and help our team win.”

Stafford went out there and crushed it. The Rams kicked some serious butt 34-11. He credited as a team win, but he was the leader as the quarterback.

How many times have we heard the naysayers in our own lives?  Sometimes, we’ve even listened to them and allowed them to steal our dreams.

Sometimes, we’ve been our own naysayers. We’ve listened to our own head trash, rather than the Spirit within Who gives us the power to succeed. 

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something (unless you’re a kid and it’s your mother.) You have to protect your dream. People are like crabs in a pot. If they don’t want to crawl out of the pot, they don’t want anyone else to either. 

Laugh at those naysayers and whatever you want, go after it. Go prove yourself! Go for the win! You are fully resourced to achieve your dream. YOU GOT THIS!

I believe in you, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

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Adventure is my word for 2022.

Reading through last years journal, I realized that I spent a huge amount of time struggling with control issues. In fact, it wasn’t just last year’s struggle–it’s been with me awhile. It makes me smile to even write this, because I know in my head that I can’t control people or circumstances. I guess that knowledge never made it to my heart.

We all know how much of our lives have been in our control in the last couple years with the pandemic and all. Ha! Every other day, “they” change the rules and we have to figure life out all over again. When I dwell on this powerlessness, it feels dark and squeezing; my neck muscles tighten and my breathing gets

shallow.  This would often manifest outwardly as irritation, bad attitude and even a bit of anger…because I didn’t know what was coming. 

When this continued inner wrestling finally became painful enough, when I finally got sick of it,  I decided to reflect more on the accompanying emotions. I wanted to crush these negative feelings, so I sat in them for awhile.

I came to the conclusion that my desire for control is really fear. WHAT? I’m not afraid of anything…unless it is an unknown or something I can’t control.  This inner skirmish pretty much came to a head when we had Covid. Talk about powerlessness. 

Powerlessness fuels the fear, which feeds my irritation and anger. 

1. 
   Did you know that anger or irritation releases adrenaline-like substances in our bodies? Epinephrine is one of those hormones, as well. Together, these distract us from feeling pain. These chemicals also give us a feeling of control. AHA!
   
   No wonder being angry is such a “go-to” emotion when the pain of powerlessness arises! 
   
   AND it’s not the circumstance that impacts our emotions in a negative way, it’s what we believe about the circumstance that causes the reaction.  Fear is a feeling that is caused by our belief that something or someone will cause us pain or be dangerous. Fear can also rise when we are worried about something that MAY TRANSPIRE WITH AN UNCERTAIN OUTCOME. 
   
   The key word there is MAY. Research says that ninety percent of the things we worry about don’t come to pass anyway.  Our beliefs can be in error. 
   
   What a waste of energy, mentally and emotionally. Time for a belief change for me. I need to change how I perceive unknowns and those things, circumstances and people I can’t control (which is just about every thing and body). I decided that it was time that I viewed life as an adventure, hence my word for the year.  Adventures are exciting and fun. Yes, they can be risky and scary, in an enjoyable way.  An adventure is something I choose–just like the thoughts I think. Unknowns and powerlessness are now adventures. 
   
   How much time did I waste in previous years (yeah, it was a nasty habit) grasping for things that I couldn’t control anyway? What could I have used all that negative mental and emotional energy for?  How much more creative could I have been…wait, it’s a new year and I get to start over. The past is gone and it doesn’t define me. Yippee!
   
   I saw a statement in an online devotional that I enjoy, “Instead of grasping and controlling–release and receive.” Sounds like a great New Year’s resolution to me. 
   
   Thanks for listening,
   
   Jan
   
   Jan McDonald
   The John Maxwell Team 
   
   PS. I have a new class starting January 18th–Self Image Masterclass. This is a class that many have enjoyed before, but this time I have added spiritual truths. Watch for my next facebook live on Tuesday or Wednesday about this viritual class. I am soooooooo excited to share this with you!
   
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As we grow, life experiences, mistakes, failures, kids on the playground and well-meaning adults download beliefs systems in our minds that we continue to carry with us.  All of these beliefs systems comprise our self-image. Our self-image is our overall subjective emotional evaluation of our own value or worth. It’s the way we see ourselves. Some of these beliefs may not even be true about us, but hold us back from reaching our full potential.

We can’t outperform our self-image either.  We can’t do what we think we can’t. 

How can we improve the way that we see ourselves?  Here are four steps:

1.  First, realize that this is a process.  The poet Carl Sandburg said, “There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.”  We didn’t become who we are overnight…let’s give ourselves some grace and improve a bit every day. Consistent improvements day after day create great enhancements over time.  What can you do today to improve? Do it–and no matter how small, celebrate that win.

2. We need to guard our self-talk–Whether we are aware of it or not, we have a running conversation with ourselves. What is that conversation like?  Do you encourage yourself? Or do you criticize yourself? Negative self talk undermines our self image. What we say to ourselves is what we tend to believe.

3. Stop comparing ourselves to others. We often compare our beginnings to someone’s middle or their end. We don’t know the whole story. We only see their glory. Each of us is unique and incomparable to anyone else. 

4. Move beyond your limiting beliefs.  When you identify the negative talk or belief, ask yourself, “What would I rather believe about myself?” Then replace that old limiting belief with the new one.  

Maybe you’re thinking, “yeah, easy for you to say.” It is easy for me to say it, not always easy to do it. However, my experience has been that these steps work, if we work them.

If you would like to be part of a group of like-minded people who are taking a deeper dive into improving their self-image, join us in my virtual Self-Image Masterclass. It starts the third week in January–it will either be Tuesday nights at from 6:30-7:30 for 8 weeks. 

Here’s what one participant said: 

“I have taken two classes with Jan, and I highly recommend her to anyone looking to break through the barriers holding them back.  Working with Jan has been life changing.  She makes it easy for you to share your story, because she takes the lead and shares her story first.  My wife was amazed at the personal growth I was able to accomplish when working with Jan.”

To register, click here:https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/self-image-masterclass

Remember, it isn’t what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you aren’t.

Growing with you!

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

Attachment is a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal, or the like. It is the state of being attached. Many of us have new goals for 2022 and we’re excited about them! If we are going to achieve those goals, we’re going to have to make some changes. If we think the way we always have, we’ll always get what we’ve already gotten. 

Some of those changes may not be obvious, so we’re going to have to do some reflecting and deep digging to find out what needs to be changed…or what needs to be let go of. What are you attached to?  We have all sorts of commitments, ideals and beliefs to live the life that we are currently living. If we want to change our current results, significant change is necessary.  “That’s just the way I am” is not going to get you improved results.

“We don’t attach to people or things, we attach to uninvestigated concepts that we believe to be true at the moment.”  Katie Byron

Ouch!

Since weight loss is the number one New Year’s Resolution, let me use that as an example. If you going to lose weight, you’re going to have to change the way you shop, cook, the way you eat, what you eat and you may want to add exercise to make it easier.  

Geesh, it’s really hard to watch football without mountains of popcorn and maybe Life Saver Gummies…that’s going to have to change.  Not because I need change, but I’m speaking for a friend. (hahahaha) Netflix binges that are accompanied with high calorie snacks may need to go by the wayside until new snackings habits are discovered. 

If you want to enhance your marriage. discover a new and better relationship, have richer communications with your kids, make more money, or whatever it is you desire, you will have to be open to new and improved ways of thinking and relating. If we are stuck in our old ways, we can’t see the new opportunities or mindset shifts that can be ours.

AND we don’t stay the same, we move forward into growth or backward into sameness and/or safety.  As my friend and mentor, Paul, says, “Nothing in the universe stays the same–it either grows or disintegrates.” 

So how do we unattach? Here’s what I have done (and am still doing):

1. Identify what you are holding onto that isn’t serving you anymore. What is not working in your life?  What is your perception of what is holding you back?  It’s usually something that follows the word “because.”  I can’t do this, because…. This won’t work, because…  That will never happen, because…Listen for those sentences. 

2. Lighten up. I can tell you one thing that needs to be dumped and that is your past. Harvest the good from your past and let go of the rest. Let go of old mindsets, self-created illusions and assumptions that no longer serve you.  Leave old resentments, judgments  and being offended behind–they weigh more than you imagine. (That will be your first 10 pounds of weight loss. You’re welcome:) 

3. “Stop grasping at the things that are Mine.”  Yeah, God told me that last year and I’m still trying to get it. Open your grasp and let go of things that you can’t control.  Let go of the way you’ve always done everything and be open to change. Get adventurous! Venture out of your comfort zone.  

When was the last time you tried something new?  You  have choices. You  can choose to change and infinitely enhance your life. You can live a life  of joy and adventure, or you can step back into “That’s just the way I am.”  And 2022 will be here before you know it, and everything will be the same as 2021… or even 2020.

Does this email sound tough and mean?  I wouldn’t be writing about this if I didn’t have personal attachments to deal with. Just when I think I have arrived, Attachment #257 rears its ugly head.  

AND I know you. Your potential is limitless and you wouldn’t be on this email list if you didn’t want something more. I believe in you. You have so much more value than you are giving yourself credit for. The world needs all of your gifts and talents…badly.  Not only that, but you deserve to live the freedom that living without attachments will bring you. 

Happy and successful 2022 to you!

Jan

Jan McDonald

The John Maxwell Team

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Badger Mountain is not Mount Everest,  but I get some of my best ideas and hardest workouts hiking there.  When the gym closed during the COVID quarantine, I worked out at home for awhile. But Walmart resistence bands and 10 pound weights just didn’t cut it. To keep my sanity, I found Badger Mountain…a life-saver for me. 

It’s not a long hike. What I call “the hard side” is one mile from the bottom to the top and the elevation at the top is only 1593 feet. But it’s tough and usually windy…like some “hikes” in life.

Just like Badger, every new life “hike” is difficult, especially if we don’t know how far it is to the top or what the top even looks like.

The first 6 minutes of Badger are killer steep. (When I hike this with my friend, Deanna, I let her talk so I can focus on getting oxygen.) We do get to catch our breath before we hit the next switchback. Then there’s a rocky part where we have to watch every step, so we don’t turn an ankle. If that isn’t bad enough, at that point the wind can feel like it’s going to blow us off the mountain. Soon, it flattens out for a bit, and the path gets smooth again. Over the next small incline we see the next two vertical (they seem like it) switchbacks that get us to the top. 

It’s like life at times… steep, rocky, the wind in our face. Some of the time, we don’t have a clue where the path is taking us. We may as well not open our mouths to complain because the wind blows grit into our teeth.  We often wonder like a little kid on a long trip, “Are we there yet?”

While pondering this “life is like a series of hikes” thought, I saw some birds. It seemed like they were laughing at the steepness and the rocks on the path. They were using the wind to soar.  They weren’t fighting the trip, they were effortlessly climbing, focused on the big picture and enjoying the journey.

Yes, the climb can be difficult at times, but not if we keep the big picture in mind. The big picture can be our destination, the delight of the journey, the beautiful wild flowers in spring and/or the knowledge that we are going to make it to the top. We will achieve the goal of the life we designed for ourselves…if we just keep moving forward.

Every life hike makes us stronger and empowers us to attempt more hikes, because we have experienced success. We’ve made it to the top before and the view at the top is spectacular!  AND there’s always an easy downhill cruise after the climb. The wind will be at our backs, too. We learn, like the birds, not to resist, but to enjoy the journey, because we can do this! We can achieve our vision. 

That picture is the view as you begin the downhill cruise. It’s so worth the hike. 

Hiking,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I know the holidays can be stressful. When you put different people together from different backgrounds, with different expectations–well…sometimes it’s hard to know how to handle it.

My younger brother, Dave, has a quote that I love, “Our family puts the fun in dysfunctional.”  AND that’s true!  Here’s how I put the fun in dysfunctional for the holidays.

1. Don’t take personal any sarcastic or button-pushing statement. It’s the other family member’s deal. It’s their past that they haven’t worked through that is speaking. It can really be kind of painful at times, but 99% of the time this strategy works to keep my emotions on an even keel. On this note, I don’t push any buttons, either. Well…my intent is not to push buttons, but sometimes people’s buttons change and they don’t tell me…until those button pushing words are out of my mouth. Then I have to apologize and I do that quickly. 

2.  Remember that we don’t know what they are thinking. We know each family member really well, or so we think we do.  I used to think I knew what they were thinking, (see #1 above) but I am not the same person that I was last year. What makes me think that they are? So I ask lots of open ended questions. I get really curious. I don’t assume anymore (I used to) that I understand everything or everyone, so I ask for clarification, elaboration or whatever I need to grasp the conversation clearly. This has been a game changer in all of my relationships. 

3. Watch body language. What we say only accounts for 7% of what is believed by others. The way we say it accounts for 38%. What they see accounts for 56%. Ninety percent of the impression we often convey had nothing to do with what we actually say.

4. Focus on common ground. Maybe we think there isn’t any, but we’re family for Pete’s sake. We need to close down our cell phones, doodling, fidgeting, whatever else is distracting and concentrate totally on what the other person is saying. Move out of our little world and into theirs. Listen for their feelings, as well. Listen to the words behind the words. THAT can only be done when you are focused on the other person. We may be surprised at what we do have in common.

5. Suspend the need to be right. My mentor told me that the need to be right can be a splinter to our souls…and to our relationships.  I am not going to change anyone’s mind in one day. Value the relationship over the need to be right.  (Yeah, this is a tough one:)

Politically, socially and spiritually, my family is as different as the day is long. But like my son always says after a heated political discussion, “I love you anyway, and nothing can change that.” That is truth. 

Merry Christmas,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

The holiday season can be brutal when it comes to comparing ourselves with others.  All those gatherings with family can bring up past issues. Even the parties with friends can invoke comparison.  Especially those Christmas letters laden with fabulous achievements shared by the writer can cause me to wish I had more, was more or earned more. Not only is comparison a thief of joy, but it steals our peace, as well.

Many times, in my own personal life, comparison has stolen my peace and made me grumpy.  I  gave two of the very same presentations to different groups of people. One group had a great time and was very interactive and the other sat there like stones. Did I say something that didn’t make them want to talk? Why wasn’t the interaction as good as last time? Was I not good enough as another speaker might have been? Oh…shut…up, Norma.

Norma is the default voice inside my head that seeks to keep me average.  She wants me to remain “normal”, whatever the heck that means. I’m never enough for her.  She always likes to keep me in my comfort zone and she’s quite vocal when I attempt new things. That totally rocks her boat. Norma always chatters big time after I speak somewhere. She can be vicious and loves to compare me with others.  Most of the time, she is my own worst enemy. 

I asked a pastor friend to weigh in on this topic of comparison. These were some of his words, “Comparison leads down two darker paths; pride and covetousness. If we compare and think ourselves better, we become proud and haughty. Not good. If we see that we fall short and covet to have what others have, we may resort to illegitimate means to obtain what they have, or just become depressed, feeling that it is outside of our reach. It’s a dangerous game to play, unless you have a serious heart check about why you’re doing it.”  Great wisdom.

On the other hand, comparison can be good if we are doing it to learn from others. As leaders, if we compare ourselves to those who are farther along the path than we are, we can become better leaders. If we view others as better with the humility to learn, comparison can be beneficial.

                                                                              How can we make comparison advantageous to us? 

First, remember our uniqueness. Our DNA is a 5-million-character code that paints a picture of each one of us. That same code has never existed and never will again. Each person has their own unique set of fingerprints. There has never been another created like each one of us and never will be. We are one of a kind. Special.

Second, since I am a Christian, Ephesians 1:4 tells me that Christ chose me before the foundation of the universe (Me? He chose me?) I didn’t have to clean up, get good enough or become someone other than me to be loved by Him. I am made in His image, He knows my short-comings and accepts me as I am.  Hallelujah! He also gave me my strengths, assets and talents…and there are many of them.   Ephesians 3:10 tells me that I am His Masterpiece! Leonardo diVinci painted only one Mona Lisa. God made only one me. And only one you. 

Thirdly, ask yourself if your best friends would say what you were negatively thinking or saying about you. Would they call you that? Would they say that about you? I don’t think so. Stop punishing yourself for not being somebody else.

Lastly, appreciate who you are and what you have. Write a list of all the good things about you and read that list daily. When your Norma gets out of control, read her that list.  Norma usually doesn’t argue with the truth.

You may have more ways to crush comparison of yourself with others. I would love to hear how you deal with your Norma.  I don’t believe we can have too many tools in our arsenal to build ourselves up to become all that we can be.

I will end on this note–comparison with myself brings improvement, comparison with others brings discontent.  Purpose to not let Norma steal your joy this season by remembering your own uniqueness.

Believing in you,

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I wrote this at the end of 2019.  The subtitle of that email blast was “2020 is going to be awesome!”  Hahaha! But I thought the lessons I learned in 2019 apply now because there are more unknowns than ever. I hope these lessons serve you again–they are great reminders for me. 

                                                                   “Life’s difficulties are not meant to impede our progress, but to increase our speed.” 

I have no idea where I read this but I believe it’s true.  I learned this lesson big-time during the sale of our old home and the buying of our new home.  It wasn’t going the way I assumed it would go. But then, does anything in life go the way that we plan it? Our home had sold, with a closing date of August 30th.  It was August 6th, we had looked at 45 homes and hadn’t found one we loved. 

I was strategizing what we would do if we didn’t find a home mentally like a horse in a corral, consumed by planning that which I couldn’t control. Slogging through quicksand is what my life began to feel like.  And my attitude showed that.

I was learning the content of the chapter on The Effect of Thought on Circumstance for “As A Man Thinketh,” and the light went on. (funny, I just read that chapter about 3 nights ago 11/23/2021.)  I was not choosing my thoughts well. I was grasping at things that weren’t mine to grasp. I was irritated as all get out when I couldn’t wrap my grubby hands around those things.  Of course, I couldn’t grasp those things–they were still in the future!  We still had a week to find a home…I needed to change my thinking about my circumstance and just let go.  After all, that’s what I teach…our thoughts produce our behavior and my current behavior wasn’t fun at all.

At that moment, I put the book down and consciously surrendered the home I didn’t have yet. I sat there with open hands as a gesture to seal the deal. Immediately, I felt lighter…better…and almost joyous. 

And the next day, we found, placed an offer, and bought the home we’re living in now.

Yes, that’s exactly how it happened. I wrote about it in my journal. Hmmm…I was creating my own difficult circumstance by my thoughts and perception. I was dragging around a backpack full of worry, doubt and “what-ifs.”  How could I travel lightly and fast with that heaviness on my back…and in my mind?

Every time we let loose of a negatively  programmed thought, belief or habit that holds us back, we can progress faster to the next level of growth.  New opportunities come our way because we are ready for them. AND better yet, we can help others move past that which held us back because we have been there and have overcome. We may be able to prevent others from trudging slowly down that same path!

What’s holding you back? What slows you down? Take the time to identify and surrender it…if not for you, for others.

May you travel lighter and faster in 2022.

Surrendering my unknowns…again,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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This last year turned out way better than I thought. December is the month that I go through my journal and planner and look at what I have learned. AND what lessons I may have missed. I love this time of year. 

I do have one question. Why is it sometimes so hard to keep my goals and vision in front of me? I write them, spend time visualizing…for about 3 weeks…and then they are enveloped in the fog of daily activity. Most highly successful people share one important trait: focus. They know what their purpose is and what they want to achieve, and everything they do and say aims to bring them closer to their goals. But maintaining that intense level of dedication and drive takes effort.

I continued to think about the above question. Reflecting back, I found out what works for me to keep me focused on my vision and goals.

I believe this can work for you, too. 

First, what do you want? Who do you want to become? If you woke up on any given Tuesday and you were living the life you loved, what would it look like?  Daydream, like you did when you were a kid. If you could be, do or have anything–what would that look like. Then write it down. 

Second, why do you want it?   When striving toward any goal or vision, it’s important to find ways to remind yourself why that goal is so important to you so you can stay focused. When you feel distracted or overwhelmed, remind yourself why you want this vision so badly.   

Next–what would it feel like? If you were living the life you desired, would you feel accomplished, successful, fulfilled, ten feet tall and bulletproof? Add some emotion to it. I picture myself on the beach, wearing something white and flowy, the wind blowing through my hair and clothes. The sun is warm and I am drenched in unspeakable joy. My hands are up and the feeling is “I did it!” Okay, that’s part of my vision with the emotion, but you get the idea.

My friend and mentor, Paul Martinelli, calls it remembering your future. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Whatever you have written down, think about it as if you already have achieved it. I don’t know what your dream is, but if it’s a financial goal…what will you have if you already have achieved it?  What will your closet look like? What about your debt? Will that be gone?  How much more will you be able to give to charities of your choice? 

Take some time, write it down and focus on it. Why do you want that vision? Really think about it. Go to that place daily. Speak, see and feel the words of your vision until to get really familiar with them. Your new life and the new you that you need to become to get that life can be created this way.

Let me know how that works for you or if you have another idea, please share! 

Looking forward to 2022,

Jan 

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team 

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It has been said, “Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air…but only for one second without hope.”  Many people have lost hope these days. Just when we think things are settling down and looking better, “they” change the rules. “They” pull the rug of positive expectancy out from under us.

When we lose hope, we begin to downsize our dreams. If you have done that you know that it creates a feeling discontent, uneasiness and discomfort. That’s because that is not who we are. We are created to always seek fuller expression–to be, do and have more. 

When we fell while learning to walk, we didn’t say, “Well, walking is great for the rest of you guys. I’m just going to be a crawler.” Nope. You got up and you tried and tried and tried until you walked.

Remember when we were kids, how we daydreamed about our future?  Many of us had great hopes for our future. That’s who we are. Fuller expression is in our DNA. 

Napolean said that leaders are dealers in hope. The world needs hope dealers right now. People need to have bright things in their future. I am challenging us to dispense hope during this holiday season to others. Let’s be the bright thing in their future. 

How? 

1. What do you hope for? The first step in dispensing hope is to have something for ourselves to hope for. Write down one thing that you hope for? Remember, we can’t give what we don’t have. Once we have that hope, we can nurture it.

The Wright Brothers hoped they could fly. Everyone thought they were crazy. They tried so many times, that it “seemed” like there was no hope at all. They believed they could fly–they believed in their hope. They nurtured that hope and were successful. 

2.  Give our hope to others. Hope is a gift that energizes and motivates people to do more for themselves. AND if they don’t have hope—we can loan them ours…they can borrow ours. Where in your life are you able to loan hope to others?

3. Put hope in the future. We do that by cultivating two mindsets. The first is believing that the future is going to be better. The second is believing that we have the power to make that true. If our future is going to be bright, it’s up to us. We can’t base our hope on outward circumstances and situations, our hope needs to come from within. WE HAVE THAT POWER! We can do it!

4. BE the hope for the future. Hopeful people shine in the midst of difficult situations. Hope gives us the ability to see possibilities and opportunities not only for us, but for others.  Gandhi quotes that we can BE the change we want to see in the world. I believe the same goes for hope.

Who, in your sphere of influence, could use some hope in their lives? Loan them yours. BE their hope. If you are struggling to find hope for yourself,  I’m just an email away.

Dealing in hope,

Jan 

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team



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Magnanimity is a fancy word for generosity.  I thought that might get your attention:) Generosity is the selfless act of giving with no expectation of anything in return. The beauty of being a generous person is that even though intentions are to receive nothing in return, the giver receives tenfold.

 How can that be?

Giving makes us feel good and there is a physical reason linked to this. In a 2006 study, the National Institutes of Health found that when people give to charities, it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection and trust, creating a “warm glow” effect. Scientists also believe that this unselfish behavior releases endorphins, the “feel good” chemicals, in the brain.  

The universal Law of Giving and Receiving acknowledges that the way to expand anything that we want is to give it to others. I first learned about this when I got sober.  There is a principal in AA that says if we want to stay sober, we need to help others stay sober. It’s giving our sober experience, strength and hope to others so we get to keep our sobriety.  THAT was a huge gift to me…and if you ask my family, they will tell you that they, too, received 1000 fold. 

It reminds me of the Leadership Law of Magnetism. We don’t get who we want, we get who we are.  A couple of years ago, everyone in my life was impatient.  Everyone in my life wanted things yesterday. What was this all about? I had a flat forehead moment when I looked in the mirror. I was also impatient at that time in my life and that’s what and who I was attracting to me. 

How does this law of generosity work? If we want peace and joy, we give peace and joy away. If we want to expand our life financially,  we share our wealth with others.  If we want happiness, we help others be happy.  If we want to receive patience…you get the idea (still working on that:)

Generosity is listed in John Maxwell’s book, “The 21 Indispensable Traits of a Leader.”  He gives three ways to develop generosity; 

1. Give something that you truly value to someone who needs it. If possible, do it anonymously.
2. If you know someone who is doing something great and making a difference, give them resources. Put your money to work on something that will outlive you.
3.  Mentor someone. Once you reach a certain level in life, it’s time to give back to those who want to grow into their own unique potential.

I would like to add a number four.  Do simple things. You can be generous with a good attitude, or a smile to those who cross your path daily. You can let that person with one item go in front of your full cart at the grocery store check out. Give your expertise to someone who could benefit from it. 

Go ahead, make your world a better place through your magnanimity. Get yourself that “warm glow” effect! I challenge you to show your greatness and generosity to others today!  Let me know how you do that–I’d love to hear it. 

Glowing!

Jan 

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team 

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Over 200 years ago, a man in civilian clothes rode past a small group of tired and battled weary soldiers. They were digging what appeared to be an important defensive position. The leader of the group wasn’t making any effort to help. He just shouted orders and threatened to punish the group if the work wasn’t completed within the hour.
 
“Why aren’t you helping?” the stranger asked on horseback.
 
“I’m in charge! The men do as I tell them,” said the leader. He added “Help them yourself if you feel so strongly about it.”
 
To the mean leader’s surprise, the stranger got off his horse and helped the men until the job was finished. Before he left, the stranger congratulated the men for their work, and approached the confused leader.
 
“You should notify top command next time your rank prevents you from supporting your men – and I will provide a more permanent solution,” the stranger said.
 
Up close, the now humbled leader recognized General George Washington and was taught a lesson he would never forget!

What does this have to do with Halloween and your costume?  I remember back to when I was a positional leader.  People followed me because they had to. Real leadership is when people gladly follow you because they want to. To create that culture, a leader needs to love their people more than their position. That means adding value to them, and by having a servant’s heart. Let’s put on the cloak of a servant leader with the following “tricks” and get the “treat” of expanding our influence. 

1. Perform small acts. Find ways today to show others that we care. Small acts of kindness can go a long way to show people we care. Start at home–when was the last time we did a meaningful act for our spouse?  Oh geesh–besides laundry, grocery shopping and cooking, I can’t remember…that’s not a good thing. 

2. Learn to walk slowly through the crowd. The next time we are at an event or meeting with employees, clients or acquaintances, make it a priority to cruise the room to connect with the people in the room. Circulate and chat. Find out how their day is going. Make it our agenda to focus on them. Learn their names.  Not only is that adding value to them, but it helps us get out of our comfort zone, too. 

3. Take action. I am task oriented and I had to learn to invest in relationships. When I realized that serving others expanded my influence because I was adding value, I had to get out there and start serving…no matter how I felt.  What I found is that those I served were blessed. AND wonder of wonders, I was impacted in a positive way because I served. This is just one of the “treats” that we get from having a servant heart. 

Other treats received by servant leadership; increased happiness and efficiency of our teams, enabling higher performance. It’s very motivating to see the boss roll up their sleeves and do the hard work with the team.  Modeling this behavior trickles down into our workplace, home or community culture and multiplies that behavior.  People do what people see.  

The best treat of all, in my opinion, is that people’s lives are enhanced and relationships are strengthened.

I am sure you can think of other “treats” resulting from serving others. I’d love to hear back from you!

Happy Halloween!


Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

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Eighty-three percent of workers are experiencing symptoms of burnout. Nearly 1 in 4 employees experienced the more severe signs, including reduced professional efficacy and cynicism towards coworkers and their jobs. This is what I found when researching the biggest challenges that leaders and managers face in 2021. I wasn’t surprised. 

Too much stress can lead to burnout. Our world has turned upside-down in these last 18 months. Many of the ways we operated pre-Covid have changed and there are still many unknowns. 

If we lead or manage people, we spend all day serving others. Many business owners have been agonizing over ways to keep their businesses running and profitable, as well.  This doesn’t include the children that need nurture and the families that need us. 

My question to you is–when do you care for you?  What is your self-care strategy?  When do you refuel and pour back into you?

How can we give others our best selves when our best selves have already been given out? 
 

You can’t give what you don’t have. 

We all remember what the airline stewardess tells us to do in case of emergency. If the oxygen masks come down, we need to put the mask on ourselves first.

We need to fill our energy tanks first. Operating from an energy deficiency isn’t healthy and may lead to anxiety, depression, hopelessness and fatigue. 

How can we refuel and refresh ourselves? Here are some ideas for self-care:

• Take a walk–just get out into nature.
• Take a bubble bath (yes, guys can do this, too.)
• Talk with a friend.
• Go to the gym (if you enjoy that.)
• What brings you joy? Do that.
• Practice gratitude.

I am sure that you can think of other ways that would reinvigorate and fortify you. Personally, I have quiet time every morning and hiking Badger is another “go-to” refresher.   

Right now. Stop. Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths. Relax and think of things/people for whom you are grateful.  Stay there for a couple minutes. Doesn’t that feel good? 

Now  grab your calendar and start scheduling time to pour back into you. Start small–maybe with 5 minutes. Work up to whatever it takes to refuel and give power back to your best self. You deserve it.

Still learning this,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

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The first time I quit drinking was when my ex-husband and I split up. It was his fault, after all (yeah, right.) I totally quit cold turkey and began a fitness craze with a vengeance.  I worked really hard on my outside, because I didn’t want anyone to know how messed up I was on the inside. I taught aerobics and became a personal trainer. Oh, did I receive the accolades, “Wow, you look so good.”  “If I could only have a body like yours.”  “Train me, so I can be as fit as you.”  It felt so good to hear all those nice things. I certainly wasn’t feeling very good about myself on the inside. 

Even though I was hearing those compliments from my outer story, my inner story (and it was of the horror genre) kept pointing to my lack of integrity.  Integrity is more than following a moral code.  The definition of integrity is “the quality or the state of being complete; unbroken conditions; wholeness; entirety.”  It’s the opposite of being divided.

My outer story  was cheering me on. My inner story was desperately crying out for help. 

I was finding my identity in my outer story; what I looked like, what I had accomplished and the approval of others. I kept telling myself the same stories, that I was okay, that I didn’t need anyone else, and I really was as awesome as everyone said.  Since I hadn’t rewritten my inner story,  I went back to drinking on and off for a couple of years. I couldn’t do any different. You know what’s funny?  I didn’t have a clue that there was an inner and outer difference in my stories.    

At some point, and it’s all kinda fuzzy back in those days, I just couldn’t do it anymore. The turmoil between the outer story and the inner story became too much to handle.  I got help. 

You know what I found out…and am still finding out?  When I rewrite the inner story, the outer story changes. As I continue to edit and rewrite, a process that has actually become a great adventure, I become more and more the person I desire to be.  What I am on the inside and on the outside become more and more alike.  The inner whirlwind slows to a refreshing breeze. 

When I chose and envisioned the “happily ever after” in my inner story, the outer story began to transform into the best me and the best life I desired!  Imagine…imagine entering into 2021, with a newly revised story, a story that belongs to your best you. I get excited just thinking about it!  

What stories are you telling yourself? Is there a place in your life where you are struggling or just feel stuck? Envision your “happily ever after.” Who do you desire to be? Then go ahead and rewrite…because you can…it IS YOUR story.

Still revising,


Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

 

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