Your Path to Breakthroughs: Insights from Jan McDonald

From hopeless drunk to 30 years sober and helping hundreds of individuals and organizations unlock their ‘and then some’, I distill all the lessons gained from those transformational life experiences and share them with you in this space.

I invite you to explore these insights as way to help you breakthrough the challenges that are stopping you from becoming who you want to be.

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"Live on the other side of 'yes'."

--Melvin Maxwell

That has to be one of my favorite quotes these last 18 months–along with the one that says we can make lemonade out of the lemons that we are given. 2020 was definitely the year of the lemon. Living on the other side of “yes,” believing and creating solutions for challenges that I thought were impossible, resulted in some sweet lemonade. Okay, not always, but thinking creatively prevented negative thinking. 

When you get this email, I’ll be with my kids and grandkids, probably boating, hiking and just generally enjoying their company. I thought you would enjoy this story while I’m gone: 

In a small Italian town, hundreds of years ago, a small business owner owed a large sum of money to a loan-shark. The loan-shark was a very old, unattractive looking guy that just so happened to fancy the business owner’s daughter. He decided to offer the businessman a deal that would completely wipe out the debt he owed him. However, the catch was that he would only wipe out the debt if he could marry the businessman’s daughter. Needless to say, this proposal was met with a look of disgust.

The loan-shark said that he would place two pebbles into a bag, one white and one black. The daughter would then have to reach into the bag and pick out a pebble. If it was black, the debt would be wiped, but the loan-shark would then marry her. If it was white, the debt would also be wiped, but the daughter wouldn’t have to marry the loan-shark.

Standing on a pebble-strewn path in the businessman’s garden, the loan-shark bent over and picked up two pebbles. While he was picking them up, the daughter noticed that he’d picked up two black pebbles and placed them both into the bag. He then asked the daughter to reach into the bag and pick one.

The daughter naturally had three choices as to what she could have done:

1. Refuse to pick a pebble from the bag.
2. Take both pebbles out of the bag and expose the loan-shark for cheating.
3. Pick a pebble from the bag full well knowing it was black and sacrifice herself for her father’s freedom.
She drew out a pebble from the bag, and before looking at it ‘accidentally’ dropped it into the midst of the other pebbles. She said to the loan-shark;
 

“Oh, how clumsy of me. Never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.”


The pebble left in the bag is obviously black, and seeing as the loan-shark didn’t want to be exposed, he had to play along as if the pebble the daughter dropped was white, and clear her father’s debt. 

It’s always possible to overcome a tough situation through out of the box thinking, and not giving in to the only options you think you have to pick from.   

Enjoying vacation!

Jan 

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team

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"Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now."

--Regina Brett

In college, we can audit a course. We pay less money for the advantage to sit in on the course,  and we aren’t required to do the homework. We get to listen and learn what we desire, but we don’t get any credit for the course.  When we audit a class, we don’t have to worry about failing, either.  I wonder how many people simply live their lives like auditing a college class?  We get these great ideas, have dreams and goals and fail to take action. We don’t follow through and get to see the great results of our fullest potential.  Or we get swayed off course by other’s opinions or by circumstances in life. 

I did that for awhile…I graduated from college with the desire to be a teacher. I got sidetracked and ended up in the restaurant business–that was such good, easy money! I knew there was something missing–there had to be more than cocktailing, but I got comfortable and it was fun. I was good at it and couldn’t fail.  I was living life by default rather than by design.  

Later on in life (and I’ll spare you all the details,) I stopped meandering through life, took a deep and earnest look at the direction I was going. and began to listen to my heart. That caused me to do a life audit.  I knew I needed to make some changes.  Those changes eventually led me to where I am now–which is living a life that I am designing and it’s a life that brings me much joy!

Simply put, a life audit is when you take a long, detailed, and honest look at various areas in your life to assess which are and aren’t helping you live to your highest potential. We just take stock of anything that is taking up time, space, mental and physical energy in our lives. When carried out correctly, honestly, and steadily, life audits can be incredibly empowering and inspiring.  

Many of my coaching clients have noticed improvements in their life beyond the areas on which they focused their attention in their life audit. For example, by making positive changes in their diet,  wortheir work-life improved. Making a change in their relationship also  improved their
environment- it can be quite powerful!

Are you passively accepting what is showing up in your life?  It’s all too easy to forget that YOU are the one that’s truly in charge and that if you don’t like something you have the power to change it. 

This Saturday, May 15, at 10:00 a.m. Pacific Time, I am facilitating a webinar that will lead you through a life audit. If your life is not progressing the way you would like, or if you feel like something more might be missing, I hope you’ll join me, I’d love to be your guide.

Register here:  https://janmcdonald.leadingthebest.com/WHLA0001

Designing my life, 

Jan 

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team

I’m on facebook @janmariemcdonald


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"The value of an idea lies in the using of it."

--Thomas Edison

We can’t take an action without thinking about it or having the idea first. That’s a great thing when we are tempted to do something that will negatively impact others or ourselves. When I sobered up…the first time…all I could think was “Just don’t drink.” That idea was constantly on my mind. I constantly thought about what I couldn’t have. Those thoughts about drinking, even though I knew I shouldn’t, took root. and I was back out there drinking again. Like Eve in the Garden of Eden. Of all the lucious fruit she could choose, she obsessed over the one fruit that she wasn’t supposed to have…and she ate it. I think it was Les Brown who said, “Where your focus goes, there your energy flows.” 

My suggestion to those struggling with alcohol or drugs is to not even entertain the thought. Put it out of your mind. Get an idea and picture of the person that you want to become. Put that image in your mind and think about that instead. That idea, that image that you hold in your mind is the one you move toward, and thoughts of alcohol evaporate. The less we use neuropathways, those habits we have formed in our mind, the weaker they become, until they become like the old Highway 1 on the Oregon Coast. You can still see portions of it, but it is covered with weeds, vegetation and cracks. It is unusable. 

What about those clever ideas that pop up in our minds?  My mom had this great idea for cloth diapers that had ties on them, thereby removing the need for pins. WOW! I look back to former days, all the pin pricks and stress about pricking my babies while changing a diaper. What a helpful invention that would have been.  Mom never did anything with that fabulous idea.  Some time later,  a Westport housewife named Marion Donovan invented the “Boater,”  a waterproof covering for cloth diapers.  Marion was granted 4 patents, one included the use of plastic snaps that replaced those nasty old safety pins.  What if Mom had taken action on her idea?   

What great ideas have you had that you just dismissed with, “Oh, that’ll never happen,”  or “that’s impossible?”  Then you put that insightful idea out of your mind, rather than entertain the possibility.  Maybe your idea might not work, or it might fail?  In 1968, Dr. Spencer Silver, a chemist at 3M Company was trying to invent a super-strong adhesive that would stick multiple things together. His “epic fail” turned out to be Post-It notes!   

What is the value of one idea? 

My challenge to you this week is to take captive your brilliant thoughts and ideas that come to mind and write them down. Get a little black book, keep it with you, and when you get those crazy ideas, write them down and entertain them.  Who knows, maybe, just maybe, one of those ideas could be life-changing. 

On the other hand, what thoughts or ideas have turned into negative habit super-highways? You would rather them look like old Highway 1.  I have a great question for you to ask yourself when those defeating thoughts pop up, “Who would I like to be in this moment?” Think on that idea and image and you will move toward that, instead. 

Make it a great week!

 Jan 

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team

Check out my facebook page for more leadership tips @janmariemcdonald


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"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment you first find yourself in."

--Mark Caine

We know there are some things that we cannot change. I used to be frustrated with the fact that I was short. I couldn’t get into the scary rides at carnivals when I was younger. I certainly couldn’t get into some of the movies that I wanted to see because I was so little for so long.  AND most of the time I was the last one to be chosen on a team in grade school at recess because I was so tiny. 

My mom gave me a great attitude change about that, though.  She used to always tell me that good things came in packages…powerful things like TNT and nitro-glycerin. I came to believe that was true. 

What can be changed in order for us to grow and thrive is our environment. John C. Maxwell says in his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, growth thrives in conducive surroundings. If we are not in a good environment, we have some choices; we can change the current environment we’re in, we can change ourselves, or we can leave the environment.

Personal growth doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Both the place that we’re located and the people with whom we are associated influence our attitude.  At different stages of life, different surroundings are suitable to our development and we must put ourselves in a position to thrive. If we are working from home, we need to get creative! Growth environments depend on us. We can’t depend on someone else to do it.
 
John listed what a growth environment might be like:

1. Others are ahead of me.  There are others that are further down the journey of growth than we are and we can learn from them. Nobody grows alone.

2. I am continually challenged. A boring job is not going to make us want to grow.

3. My focus is forward. We need to remember that the past ended yesterday and that we get to make today better.

4. The atmosphere is affirming. When positive encouraging attitudes are modeled for us, it gives us the strength to stretch and attempt more.

5. I am often out of my comfort zone. Nothing grows inside our comfort zone. Being outside of it is exhilarating. (Okay, most of the time.:)

6. I wake up excited. Our environment and vocation are generally enjoyable so it is a joy to go to work.

7. Failure is my friend. Failure is a growth opportunity, so we need not fear it. A growth environment gives us permission to make mistakes, admit them and learn from them.

8. Others are growing.  It is exciting to be in an environment where others are thriving and reaching for their full potential.

9. People desire change. (I’m not sure I totally agree with this one:)  In a growth environment change is not resisted, it is embraced and celebrated. (Eventually…hmmmm…I may need some growth here.)

10. Growth is modeled and expected. This is my favorite part about being a leader, because “people do what people see.”  If I am willing to grow, admit and learn from my mistakes, those I lead absorb those same characteristics. It is my responsibility to create a positive growth environment for others.

Let’s check our environment against that list. Maxwell says that if we answer false to five or more of those statements, our current environment may be hampering our growth.  If so, we need to choose whether we change or improve our environment to reach our potential. 

Thriving!

Jan 

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


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"The most powerful leadership tool that you have is your own personal example.”

--John Wooden

I was reading a devotional this morning on a Bible chapter, Titus 2.  The apostle Paul was instructing Titus on essential guidelines to teach to leave a godly legacy for future generations.  Paul wrote a list of character traits for the older generation to model to the younger generation.  Some of those traits listed were; discipline, kindness, be worthy of respect, hard-working and caring. 

This Bible teaching  reminded me of John Maxwell’s Law of the Picture. The summary statement for that Law is “people do what people see.”

Studies show that the brain learns best what is modeled. The behaviors that your children see day after day is what they assimilate…they just soak it up. It’s like learning a language. If you put a child in a Spanish speaking home, they pick up Spanish as their language. Take that same child and raise him in a German speaking home, what language do they learn?  Of course, German.

Some studies about welfare recipients have also shown that more than 30% of them are second generation receivers. Why? Because that is what has been modeled for them.

In my own life, three out of four siblings in my family became alcohol dependent.  I personally believe the reason behind that is because that behavior was modeled for us. What proves that to me is that my older sister is the one who is “normal.” (Which is a relative term in our family. My brother likes to say that our family puts the “fun” in dysfunctional😊.)  My father’s drinking didn’t turn habitual until after my sister left for college. Being 10 years older than the rest of us, my sister didn’t experience his alcoholism like the rest of us did.

As leaders, what characteristics do we desire in those that follow us?  I remember that I wanted my staff to be honest, hard-working, compassionate, solution-oriented, prompt, and I wanted them to serve one another. I also wanted them to gently address and to be caring during conflict resolution. I didn’t want those who supervise to lord their positions over their followers, but I desired them to  lead with a servant’s heart. I wanted all of my staff to pursue excellence when working.

The first question I had to ask myself after writing that list is; “Do I have those same characteristics?”  If not, I needed to get busy growing and changing to be able to exemplify those same character traits. Without those, would someone even want to follow me?    

It would be great if leadership functioned by this axiom “do as I say…not as I do,” but that’s not the way it is. I can talk the walk until the cows come home, but I need to walk the talk before I can expect the results and behaviors that I prefer in those that follow me. It’s always easier to teach what’s right than to do what’s right.  Followers are always watching the leader, just like children are always watching their parents.

To be a successful leader, the first person that I need to lead is me.

Still working on the walk,

Jan

"Nothing will cause more anxiety than trying to control that which we can't."

--John Maxwell

When we sold our home in Grandview mid-July of 2019, we had the hardest time finding a home in Tri-Cities that we liked, in the price range that we desired. We had looked at 46 homes by the first week in August and none of them were “The One.”  The date for the new owner of our old home to take possession was August 30th.

One of the distractions during a crisis (and not knowing where I was going to live felt like one) is fear of the unknown. I had that going on big-time! What if we don’t find a place? Do we rent? Geesh, I don’t want to move twice. And if we do rent, where?  Do we settle for the home that we already toured that we could live in after massive renovation?  Do we need to go up in price range? I don’t want to be house poor. Do I even want to look in Pasco?  I spent a ton of time looking on Zillow. I swear, I knew the details of almost every home in there.  I tried to work this “crisis” every which way in the my head. My thoughts were like a horse running around and around in a corral. Talk about anxiety!!  

The night before we were going to look at more homes, I finally through up my hands in “Whatever!” mode. I gave it up. The only things I could control were my attitude and to continue looking at homes. The moment I surrendered was the moment my anxiety lessened.  AND…


The very next morning, we found “The One” in Pasco…and we hadn’t even been looking there.


What can we do when we don’t have all the answers?  Here are some tips that I learned from participants in a webinar series I taught in 2020 called “Leading Through Crisis:” 

1. Surrender the unknown. Let go and accept where you are. As a person of faith, I give it to God–He’s up all night anyway, probably working on my challenge.  No sense in both of us losing sleep. 

2. Focus on what we can control and then take action. Procrastination fuels anxiety, so take the next step, whatever that is…and then celebrate that step forward, no matter how tiny. 

3. Ask more questions. Look at the situation from different angles. Engaging in conversations with others can give different perspectives and can help us think outside the box.

4. Write about the situation. I have found that writing challenges down on paper gives me clarity. The emotions surrounding the unknown are clarified, the fears are black and white, and the challenge seems smaller.

5. Focus on the big picture based on what we know.   In my life, things always seem to work out for me. I don’t mean that to sound arrogant, but if I look back on my life, I can see that we have been divinely guided. I know this…but sometimes I forget. Sometimes the control freak in me comes out of the closet and tries to organize EVERYTHING.

I am sure that you have your ways of thriving when you don’t have all the answers–I hope that you will share them with me. The arsenal  for coping can never be too big in these ever-changing times. 

Still don’t have all the answers,  

Jan

" Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome."

--Arthur Ashe

I remember when I was younger and I only had my brother’s bike to ride when he wasn’t using it. It was ugly, too. It was old and scratched.  My friends in my neighborhood all had their own bikes and they were much nicer than my brother’s. I can remember saying, “Wow, I’ll be happy when I get my new bike.” 

I got that new bike. It was a pink and white, 26-inch Schwinn, and my parents had put those plastic streamers in the handle bars. OMGoodness! I had arrived! I was so happy…for awhile. Junior High school came and happiness wasn’t about riding a bike anymore. This was a new school and I sure would be happy if I could make a bunch of friends. After about one month, Janis Barnett became my best friend, and her friends became mine. I was estatic. Soon, that wasn’t enough. Oh, if I could become a cheerleader…oh, if I had a steady boyfriend…oh…you fill in the blank. We can do this to death and never enjoy our lives…or is it just me?

I have found my passion and I love my life! Sometimes, I still find myself yearning for the destination rather than feeling blessed in the moment. It steals the joy right out of my life. I found myself really busy a couple weeks ago. I had one leadership workshop, two speaking engagements, a coaching client and was planning an upcoming retreat. I found myself thinking, “If I can just make it to the weekend. Once I get all those events over with, I can relax (be back in my comfort zone.”) 

WHAT WAS I THINKING? I wondered why I felt this way. I was prepared for everything on my schedule. I knew what I was going to say, how I was going to facilitate the workshop and I had practiced. 

Two thoughts came to mind. I worried that I wasn’t enough and I was “what iffing.”  What if they don’t like what I say? What if they don’t have fun? What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t want to change after hearing my teachings?  It’s was the fear of criticism. I’m smiling as I write this. I don’t need anyone else to criticize me–I do a great job myself, thank you. 
 

“Happiness is a bully in the schoolyard of life. It draws the line and then moves the goalposts over and over again.”   Bridgett Krause


The cure for this B.S (belief system–this is a G-rated email) is to walk right into the face of those negative thoughts. Give them a hug. Thank them for showing up and tell them that you don’t need them anymore. Tell them good-bye and then focus on what you are doing at that moment. Plan and do your best and don’t be attached to the outcome. Most of the time we can’t control the outcome anyway. 

A couple more things that we can do, if moving the goalpost back to the present moment is difficult. Count our blessings.  I find it very hard to be sincerely grateful and think negative thoughts at the same time.  Of course, because our minds can only focus on one thought at a time. 

What is it that you want that you’ll only be happy when you get it?  Happiness can’t be a destination. If it is, you rob yourself of the joy of living. 

Facing my negative B.S.,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
 

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"If you want something in life that you've never had, you're going to have to do something you've never done."

--JD Houston

About 3 months ago, I was wondering in my quiet time, “Should I facilitate a retreat based on my book, ‘Fruitful Leadership: Leading by The Fruit of The Spirit’?”  I wrote down my thoughts in my journal…”What if I’ve never held a retreat before? What if I can’t figure out how to do it?  What if nobody comes? What if I can’t find a place to have it? I have no clue how long it should be. What if…? Nah…too many unknowns for me.” 

I sat there for a moment. I crossed out those statements in my journal and wrote, “Wait a minute, I’ve facilitated impactful two day custom workshops before. I’ve planned successful fundraising banquets for 300 people.  What if I nail it?  What if it’s an epic success?”
 
There’s a different way to think about doing something we’ve never done. “What ifs” are not truth. Negative “what ifs” are just statements that our brain makes up to keep us in our comfort zone. What ifs are thoughts to keep us from getting hurt. We bump up against limitations that we have created in our minds.

Those self-created limitations are called the Terror Barrier.  The Terror Barrier lurks just outside the comfort zone waiting to pounce. It’s that feeling of dread or the certainty that we are doomed if we try the thing we want to attempt.  It’s that feeling a man gets when he wants to ask a woman out on a date.  It’s that feeling that we get when the boss calls us into his/her office. It’s that feeling most people get when they are asked to speak publicly.  It’s that feeling we get whenever we want to try something risky or new.

 Here’s 3 steps to becoming a wrecking ball on your personal Terror Barrier:

1. Do it afraid. Just keep moving forward no matter how badly your feet want to stay rooted to the ground.  Refuse to let this limitation (that probably was your own creation) to control you or your future.

2.  Expect the enemy. The Terror Barrier rears its ugly head every time we want to step into territory where we haven’t previously traveled. It’s natural and normal. Simply shrug and tell yourself, “Oh, there you are again. You’re trying to keep me safe. This must mean something great for me if you are trying to stop me.”

3. Keep your eyes on the prize.  Mentally see yourself winning. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  Focus on how good it will feel to break through–victory tastes sooooo sweet.

I think we have no idea what we are truly capable of. Today, when you are faced with the Terror Barrier, take the above 3 steps. You can do it. Smashing through that barrier is possible and remember, once you stretch that comfort zone, it never goes back to the original smaller shape.

By the way, I scheduled that retreat and then figured it out.  It’s this Friday night, April 23rd and Saturday morning, April 24th. Click here if you want more info:
https://janmcdonald.leadingthebest.com/UMST0001

Focusing on how good it will feel to break through, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing."

--Rollo May

It’s been a process for me to learn to become more relationship oriented. I am a “D” (from the Maxwell Method of DISC Behavrioral Styles) and one of their characteristics is that they have an inherent need to be right. Understanding others? What’s that all about?

I found out that if I wanted to be successful and have a positive impact on others, I needed to understand other’s perspective. Since leadership is influence, how could I have any at all if it was “my way or the highway?” 

Think about what you want from others. Don’t you want to be listened to, respected, and understood?  An attorney was heard to say, “Half of all controversies and conflicts that arise among people are caused not by difference of opinion or an inability to agree, but by the lack of understanding of one another.”

In John Maxwell’s book, “Relationships 101,” he gives us keys to understanding other people.

 1.  Everybody wants to be somebody. Everyone wants to be valued by others. Everyone wants to have significance, to believe that their life matters.

2.  Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.  Once we show that we care about people, the way they feel about us changes. I have found that it isn’t always easy to care for other people–especially in the midst of conflict. It’s helpful for me during these times to try to remove the emotion and look at the situation factually, like an observer.  It is then that I can often see their point of view.

3.  Everybody needs somebody.  People can accomplish much more together than they can by themselves.  To offer to assist someone, even if they don’t think they need assistance, can open doors to deepen relationships.

4.  Everybody can be somebody when somebody understands and believes in them. I can think back to many times in my life when someone’s belief in my abilities helped me to grow into an improved me. Their encouragement and motivation helped me to see my potential.

5.   Anybody who helps somebody influences a lot of bodies. When we help one person believe bigger about themselves, we actually help a lot of people. What you give to one person, multiplies into the lives of other people in their sphere of influence.

Understanding these keys, will improve our understanding of others and improve our relationships. Even if we are not relationship oriented, there is hope, believe me.  It is a choice to understand people. The ball is in our court. If we want to have better relationships and more positive influence, we will choose to take a step back and try to understand others.

Go and grow, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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"Without love there can be no connection, no future and no success together."

--John Maxwell

I’m writing this on the Friday before Easter and I thought of what a grand emotion love is. I know, this seems kinda mushy, but imagine a life without love. Research says a baby’s brain will not develop properly in the absence of love.  Wow, that is powerful!  Love is very powerful. Look at your own life experiences. Can you recall a time when you felt unloved? How did that make you feel? Depressed? Lonely? Anxious?

Imagine a life full of love! Do you have that now? Are you content with the amount of love you have in your life?  Are you giving love to others?  Are you receiving love?  If you aren’t completely happy with your relationships both giving and receiving, then it may be beneficial to learn what options you have to create that life.
 
If you’ve been reading my emails, you know you can sit down right now and begin the process of creating that perfect life you desire–the life that is full of love and compassion and whatever else you want. I don’t use the word need because what we need and what we want are very different.  We all need food, shelter and water and according to research, love.  And we want many more things like comfort, warmth, relationships, fulfillment, purpose, and material things. 

So let’s focus on love for the moment. To achieve the love you want in your life, grab a piece of paper. Don’t use your computer or other device, as there is something magical to actually writing down your wants and mapping out your life.
 
Take the piece of paper and define your perfect scenario or definition for love.  What does it mean to you?  Take as long as you need and write as much as you can.  Describe it in detail.  If it means a foot rub every night from your significant other then write that. Maybe love means your car gets washed and vacuumed. Write whatever comes to mind and keep writing until you are satisfied that you have defined love.
 
Now, evaluate your current relationships.  Do they match what you define as love?  Are you satisfied with the love you are getting and, just as importantly, are you living up to your definition of love?  Are you giving this love to others?  It goes both ways. 
 
Know that you can’t change how someone else is, but truly look at how you are expressing yourself now.  People copy each other – if you give love unconditionally and expect nothing in turn, those closest to you, those who care and love you will reciprocate this love. Personally, I have found that unconditionally loving all the time is something that I need to work on. (Geesh, did I really write that out loud?)  You will find your relationships will become deeper and more satisfying as you focus more on your giving and less on your receiving.
 
Love is a wonderful thing – it needs nurturing and developing and now is the perfect time to start.

Love,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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"Don't be afraid to start over. It's a brand new opportunity to rebuild what you really want."

--Anonymous

I love springtime. The bulbs and perennials are starting to break through the dirt. I planted my vegetable garden and the kale, lettuce, spinach and arugula are up.  Those sprouts are pretty tender yet, so I cover them with plastic on the frosty nights. My winter pansies that I planted last fall have a new lease on life and are blooming like crazy. New beginnings. 

Finally, the lockdowns are loosening in Washington State.  I chatted last week with a track coach and he said that the team members didn’t have any idea how to act at the first meeting.  They wondered if they could hug as they had missed their friends so much. How close could they get?  Are they able to run without masks if they distance? What about high fives?   What does practice look like and how do they hold track meets?

I get it…and I bet you do, too. Things are not the same, and they are still changing quite often. There are many things that are still out of our control. We can, however, control many things about ourselves. 

How do we begin anew? 

1. Reflect. Look at last year and remind yourself what you learned. What worked for you and what didn’t? What would you like this year to look like for you?  

2. Design. Now that you know what you would like this year to look like, create a plan that’s going to move you in that direction.

3. Baby steps. My favorite quote is from Thoreau, “When one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams and endeavors to live the life they imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”  Go ahead, advance confidently. 

4. Focus. Pay close attention to what you can control and let go of what you can’t. 

5. Hope. My definition of hope–the positive expectation of something great happening.  Live with the expectation that your designed life will come into manifestation as you move confidently in that direction.

Will there be speed bumps on the road to your desires?  Of course. Like tulips and daffodils, you’ll spring up in spite of the dirt and rocks in your way. Like the sun and warmth nourishes my winter pansies, hope and focus will feed your dreams and you will bloom where you are planted. 

If you need some help, I’m just an email away, 

Blooming,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team


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"Leaders Add Value by Serving Others"

--John Maxwell

Many leaders view leadership the same way that they view success. They hope to go as far as they can to achieve the highest position that they can. Many times people do whatever it takes in the process, no matter who or what is negatively impacted.

The Law of Addition suggests otherwise.  John Maxwell quotes, “I believe the bottom line in leadership isn’t how far we advance ourselves, but how far we advance others.”  Valuing relationships is the foundation of leadership. 

All relationships either add to or subtract from a person’s life. If you can’t readily say “yes, I add to others’ lives”–then you may be a subtractor. I think people subtract from others unintentionally. They really don’t realize their negative impact on others. It happens because we are naturally selfish.
 
We need to become intentional about valuing and adding to others, because if we are subtractors and don’t change, the subtraction can turn into division or maybe misconception. 

I remember a time I evaluated a staff member. I always asked them if there is anything in my leadership style that they are were not excited about. Most of the time I didn’t like the answer, because it required change in me. This time was different. She told me that she noticed that I had been taking more time to come out of my office to just come and mingle. She said that made it easier for everyone to check in with me and she felt like I cared more. 

Okay. I had an open door policy to my office, but somehow it served them better if I came out of my little hovel to them. I had no idea.

How can you make things better for the people who follow you?  Better yet, how can you add value to those that are closest to you? For me, sometimes that is the most difficult.

Make adding value to others part of your lifestyle. That’s what it takes to become a leader whom others want to follow.

Leaders make things better for the team. Team members are excited to play the game, whatever that is in your organization, because the team knows that the leader has done everything that they can to enable the team to win.  

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team


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"At any given moment, we have two options: step forward into growth or step back into safety."

--Abraham Maslow

I was listening to a podcast by Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist at the University of Toronto. He was speaking in Sacramento, June 27, 2018, and I don’t remember everything that he talked about, but this one thing stood out to me.  In fact, it was so inspiring that I took notes on a receipt,  because I didn’t have anything else to write on while riding in the car. 

Studies have been done that reveal that you can actually recode your brain. When you stress yourself by doing something new, new genes turn on. These new genes code for new proteins which create new neuropathways. These pathways, along which information travels through the neurons (nerve cells) of the brain, can be compared with the paths through a forest. As people keep taking the same route through a forest, they wear out a path in it…this is how habits are formed, be they good or bad. Every time you learn something new, neural circuits are altered in your brain. 

Jordan said, “There is way more in you than you are manifesting right now.  What would you be like if you turned on everything in you that could be turned on?”  WOW, just wow! That is something to think about. 

It makes total sense because nothing can be more scary or stressful than venturing outside our comfort zone. Our comfort zone is a psychological state in which a we feel familiar, at ease, in control and experience low anxiety and stress.  I like it…and often, this is where I like to live. Experience has taught me that living in my comfort zone doesn’t produce the things in life for which I really yearn.  I have found that the more time I spend there, the less I actually desire in my life. 

There’s just something about stretching beyond my comfort zone that not only enhances my self-esteem, but it increases my creativity.  I have found that seeking new ideas, learning new skills, trying new experiences educates me in a way that nothing else does.  Once I expand my abilities, it opens up all sorts of possibilities for me. It can even cause me to challenge old beliefs and see them in new ways. It increases my faith in me. I am never the same after I venture out. Hmmm…could be that my brain’s been recoded. 

Faith and fear can’t exist at the same time. Go ahead, be brave, stick your foot out. My mentor once said that my comfort zone can almost become a prison if the dread of getting out there persists. Do one little thing daily that is new for you. When is the last time you tried something new? Take a new route to work. Change your radio station. Read a different type of book for you. Challenge a limiting belief. Forgive a person in your life. Dust off your dreams and ardently pursue them.

Imagine what you would be like if you turned on everything in you that could be turned on.  The sky is the limit. 

Bravely,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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“To be intentional means working with purpose to make every action count.”

--John C. Maxwell

Successful leaders are intentional. They know what they are doing and why they are doing it. Here are some steps to become more intentional that come from “The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player,” by John Maxwell:

1. Have a purpose worth living for:  Purpose is something you do. You live your purpose through every single action you take and decision you make in life. What is that for you? When they put the tombstone on your head, what will you be grateful for? What will you be proud of? What will you regret? Those questions may help you find your purpose. 

2.  Know your strengths and your weaknesses:  Put yourself in the position that allows you to use your natural gifts and abilities. Playing to your strengths rekindles your passions and renews your energy. 

3.  Prioritize your responsibilities:  Once you know the “why” of your life, it becomes much easier to figure out the “what” and the “when.”

4. Learn to say no: If you try to do every good thing that comes your way, you’ll miss the best for you. You can’t accomplish much without focus. This was huge for me when I left my job to pursue my own business. I had many requests to serve on boards of directors and other great opportunities. Those things were all good, but the best for me was to live according to my purpose, which is coaching, consulting and speaking. 

5. Commit yourself to long-term achievement: Realize that most victories in life come to us as we persevere to achieve them. Most successes don’t happen overnight, but are realized by small incremental wins sustained over time. Yes, we need to be intentional in celebrating each of those small wins along the way. 

“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make us.”  Richie Norton

Intentionally typed,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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“The imagination is literally the workshop wherein are fashioned all plans created by man.”

--Napolean Hill

Imagination is what allows us to create a life we wish we had.  By exercising that magnificent mental muscle, we can change our life’s outcome through our creative imagination by taking a moment and really imagining what it is we want – with clear details and practicing this everyday until what was once an idea becomes our reality. 

Without imagination we wouldn’t have all of the things around us.  Take the light bulb; Thomas Edison worked diligently on perfecting a commercially manufactured light bulb.  He imagined that it was possible and eventually achieved success.  He has been quoted as saying “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  What if he had not used his imagination and believed in the possibility? 

Napolean Hill devotes a whole chapter to imagination in his book, “Think and Grow Rich.”  While we can imagine all sorts of fabulous dreams and scenes in our minds, I think we forget that we can use our imagination in a negative way–when we worry.  Worry is when we focus on a future negative. We often focus on and imagine those particular negative scenarios taking place in our lives.

And the funny thing is, those events, circumstances, and conditions haven’t even transpired yet, and we don’t even know if they ever will.  Ninety percent of the things we worry about never happen anyway.  But we so often worry ourselves sick (quite literally), imagining all the possible negative scenarios that could play out.

What are you worried about today? If you stop for a moment and reflect on what it is you’re thinking about, are you focusing on what it is that you want in your life, what it is that you desire, or are you focused on the exact opposite; on what you don’t want to happen? 

As Napoleon Hill said, and I truly believe, “your only limitation in life is in the development and use of your imagination.” Why not develop your imagination and focus on what you truly desire in your life–because what we focus on grows and multiplies. 

Still imagining Maui,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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--Nikola Tesla

We’ve all been in a situation where we have walked into a party or meeting and thought, “This just doesn’t feel quite right. I’m not sure I like the vibe here.”  The Law of Vibration states that everything in the Universe moves and vibrates – everything is vibrating at one speed or another. Nothing rests. Everything you see around you is vibrating at one frequency or another, and so are you.  Can you remember a time when you were thinking about someone and out of the blue, that same person calls. That’s the law of vibration at work. 

We are all connected.  If you took a powerful microscope and viewed your hand, you would not be able to differentiate where your hand begins and ends.  All things are in a constant state of vibration.  The only difference between one thing and another is in the density or amplitude of vibration. Therefore, we are all connected. 

When you have a thought – your brain sends out vibrations.  Sometimes these are positive thoughts and sometimes these are negative thoughts.  Either way, the vibrations are sent out.  If you concentrate on a thought, you are increasing the density or amplitude of the vibration of those cells and the electric waves become more potent. 

Those electrical waves are originating in your mind and you are choosing the density of the vibrations. Think about how powerful that is – you are choosing the density of the vibrations of your thoughts! 

“Thoughts are things.”  Napolean Hill 

Everything is a manifestation of vibration. The difference is the rate of vibration or frequency.  When you are in harmony with something, you resonate with it – you are in harmonious vibration.  

By concentrating on and sending out vibrations of an image in your mind, in the present tense, you are vibrating in harmony with every particle of energy that is necessary for the manifestation of your image on the physical plane.  By holding that image, those particles of energy are moving toward you and you toward them – that is the law of vibration.

Think about the law of vibration – take some time to really think about this–that’s why imagining your future as you desire it to be is so important.  In 2019, I continually imagined myself on a sandy beach; my toes burried in the warm sand, feeling and smelling the salt sea air, listening to the sea gulls, experiencing the warmth of the sun and the breeze. In January of 2020, I spend 10 days in Maui with my daughter.  Coincidence? Test this law for yourself.  

“Where your focus goes, there your energy flows.” 

You will see that through the law of vibration, you will attract to you exactly that which you resonate with, that which you are in harmony with, that which you expend energy thinking about.  If you think about lack – you attract lack.  If you think about abundance – you attract abundance.  What are you vibratingout? What are you attracting to yourself.  It’s something to think about. 

Imagining Maui,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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