Schedule a Call

Your Path to Breakthroughs: Insights from Jan McDonald

From hopeless drunk to 30 years sober and helping hundreds of individuals and organizations unlock their ‘and then some’, I distill all the lessons gained from those transformational life experiences and share them with you in this space.

I invite you to explore these insights as way to help you breakthrough the challenges that are stopping you from becoming who you want to be.

Categories

Download the FREE Guide

5 Simple Steps to Maximize Your Effectiveness

Download Guide

Benefits of Journaling

--Jan McDonald

“Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time. “

― Mina Murray

When I first sobered up, everything made me mad. That was my “go-to” emotion and I wasn’t aware of any other feelings. One time, I was ranting to my sponsor, Sharon, about something that p%*sed me off and she interrupted my tirade, “Jan, I don’t think this emotion is anger. I think it is some other feeling.”

What? Do you live in my head so you can know my feelings? Of course, I didn’t say that out loud, but even her answer made me mad. Her suggestion to me for the next time that I felt anger was to get a pencil and paper and write about it. Just write…no punctuation, no grammar, just write. She said that something happens between the brain and the pen. (This is true, but the scientific explanation is too long for this email.) I would probably become aware of emotions that I didn’t know that I had.

I snidely answered, “That sounds like a great idea, but I don’t have time for that.”

Her answer? “If you want me to remain your sponsor, you’ll find time.” I didn’t think I could find another sponsor; nobody would have me.

She was absolutely right. I found emotions that I didn’t know existed. When I didn’t understand something or someone, writing helped me unlock the mystery. It was so beneficial that I still do it today.

Journaling benefits:

  1. I can look back and be reminded about my accomplishments and successes, which my Committee (my head voices) conveniently likes to forget. I put my prayer requests in my journal, as well. You wouldn’t believe the amount of stars (those signify answered prayers) are in my journal.
  2. Journaling gives me reasons to be grateful and helps me stay committed to becoming a better me.
  3. Oh yeah, I can also look back and learn lessons that I might have missed, or chose to ignore. (Smiley face here.)

How to Get Started?

Buy a dollar store notebook and pen.

Just observe yourself for a couple of days. What are your feelings? Are there any emotions that regularly occur? Jot them down. What are they and what triggers them?

Be sure to jot down the fabulous things that are happening in your life, no matter how small.

Write your prayer requests–this is my personal favorite. Often I forget what I’ve asked for, but if they are written, I can watch for how God showed up to answer.

When a challenge arises, sit down with your pen and notebook and just write. No grammar, no punctuation, no perfection…just write. Write until you can’t write anymore. If you are not in a position to write, rant and record on your phone. Have Siri take a long note.

You will be surprised what solutions you come up with and what emotions you uncover. You’ll be excited about all the great things you have accomplished. You will joyfully remember what you asked God for and how He answered. You’ll be grateful that you had that rant with Siri or your notebook and not that person with whom you wanted to argue.

If you have any questions, please ask. I believe journaling has kept me sober, but more than that, it is the reason behind my confidence in undertaking risk and opportunity. I KNOW it will be beneficial to you, as well.

Still writing,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
https://go.jan-mcdonald.com/leadership-seeds

Follow me on facebook for more enlightening information:) @janmariemcdonald

www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/janmcdonald
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janmmcdonald/

Continue Reading...

Just Get Started!

--Jan McDonald

“You don’t have to be amazing to start, but you have to start to be amazing.”

–Anonymous

I just got back from a difficult hike on Badger Mountain. I experienced an incredible amount of gratefulness as I reflected on my life. I’m healthy and fit; I love my calling as a coach/trainer/consultant; I live in a gorgeous area; I get to live in America; I have an amazing family–the list could go on.

I remembered my most amazing fitness feat before I decided to get healthy was getting from the couch to the refrigerator to get wine, beer, tequila….

Before I quit drinking and drugging–I had every excuse; “I don’t have a problem.” “I’m too young to quit.” “I don’t think I can or want to.” “How will I be able to have any fun?” “I’m afraid, because I’ve tried so many times and failed.” I was getting ready to get ready to live my life in a totally different way.

Many people get ready to get ready. Maybe you would like to learn to play the piano. You research teachers in your area and maybe even call around for schedules but then you stop short of setting up your first session. Why is this? Why is it so hard to get started? It’s very simple. Fear.

Fear is a debilitating emotion that can keep us from reaching our full potential. We all have fears and many of us have learned that until we conquer our fears, we are stuck. We can’t start that project or that goal or achieve that which we so desire.

How do we start when we are scared stiff? Instead of working on the fear, let’s try a different approach and let’s look at the end result. Using the piano example, maybe this has been a dream all your life to learn but you never had the chance; circumstances got in the way. And now you have the time and you have the means to get the lessons but you are afraid. What if you stink at it? What if you are too old to learn? What if you can’t master the keys and the chords? So what! So what! You will never know unless you try. And try more than once, because failing is part of succeeding.

I failed many times at recovery. It took me years to get ready. When I finally embraced and fearfully stepped into my vision of clean, sober and healthy Jan, I was able to move in the direction of that vision–one day at a time.

Think about your vision, your dream of playing that concerto piece you love so much. Or playing that Billy Joel song. Whatever your vision is, if it’s playing the piano – that is what you need to focus on every day. Every time you get scared, every time you doubt yourself, see yourself at your first recital playing a piece you practiced for hours and hours, day after day and now you are ready to play for a group. Imagine yourself experiencing the enjoyment of reading the music sheet and then turning the notes into actual music – pouring out of the piano – imagine how that would feel.

Now is the time to start. No more excuses.

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For a friend to subscribe, here is the link

https://go.jan-mcdonald.com/leadership-seeds

For more leadership tips, follow me on facebook @janmariemcdonald

www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/janmcdonald
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janmmcdonald/

Continue Reading...

When Did Life Become So Ordinary?

--Jan McDonald

“The world will never starve for wonders, but only for wonder.”

                                                                                                                                                    --G.K. Chesterton

I facilitate a Bible study on Tuesday nights with “kids” between 30 and 40 years of age. Last Tuesday, we studied the word “profanity.” The definition that we came up with for profane was to treat something holy as though it were ordinary, common or of little value. It wasn’t just about the words that come out of our mouths.

In my personal Bible study, I’ve been discovering what it means to have a childlike heart. Did I even know what that meant? I came to the conclusion that I didn’t. I grew up in a home where my dad was an alcoholic. Looking back, I realize I didn’t experience childhood the way many children do. I was often watching what was happening around me instead of simply being a kid.

One characteristic of children is that they have this natural sense of wonder. It seems like nothing is ordinary or common to them; a butterfly, a funny cloud, a bug, a flower. Children call these things, “Wow! They notice things that adults walk right past.

Somewhere along the way, I lost my natural sense of wonder. I realized I needed to redevelop my capacity for it. In a world that is busy, noisy, and chaotic, we need wonder to bring us back to sanity. Wonder slows us down, opens our eyes, and reminds us that God is still at work in the ordinary moments of life.

Imagine waking up tomorrow and intentionally looking for things that fill you with wonder:

  • The first cup of coffee
  • A flower blooming on Badger
  • The rainbow while it’s still raining
  • The song of the birds
  • The sunset
  • Being able to breathe
  • God’s grace

Let’s not miss the extraordinary.

Before you go to bed each night, write down one thing that filled you with wonder that day. It doesn’t have to be spectacular. Pretend you’re a kid again. Look for the butterfly, the rainbow, the bird singing outside your window, or the smile on someone’s face.

Maybe life hasn’t become more ordinary. Maybe we’ve become too busy to notice what’s been there all along.

Typed with wonder,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
 https://go.jan-mcdonald.com/leadership-seeds

Follow me on Facebook for more enlightening information:) @janbayermcdonald

Continue Reading...

Leave People Better Than You Found Them

--Jan McDonald

Little did I realize that my desire to add value to others would be the thing that added value to me.”

–John Maxwell

When people think about you, do they say to themselves, “My life is better because of that person?” The answer to that question probably answers the question of whether you are adding value to them.

Leadership requires serving others and intentionally making them feel better. For awhile, I thought that influencing people happened because I was the leader:) Looking back, I can see that my task-oriented nature created a blind spot. Thank goodness for Gina! Gina was a team member that was brave enough to tell me when my actions “sucked, and you need to apologize.” I am forever grateful for her! I’m still growing in that area.

Zig Ziglar says, “You can get everything in life you want if you help enough other people get what they want.” How do you do that? How can you turn you focus off yourself and start adding value to others?

John Maxwell gives us three ways in the book “Leadership Promises For Every Day.

  1. Value others first in your thinking.
    People can tell when they are viewed as a priority or when they are viewed as an interruption.
  2. Find out what others need.
    Don’t assume, ask questions, get curious.
  3. Meet that need with excellence and generosity.
    Go the extra mile for people.

I’d like to add a fourth:

  1. Seek first to understand
    We often listen with the intent to respond, fix, or persuade. Listen with the intent to understand other’s perspective. People feel valued when they are heard.

The goal isn’t always to get something from others, it’s to leave them better than you found them.

Still learning,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
 https://go.jan-mcdonald.com/leadership-seeds

Follow me on Facebook for more enlightening information:) @janbayermcdonald

Continue Reading...

Enjoy Being You

“You are the only version of you to ever exist in the universe. You are great, you are powerful, you are special.”

–Merrymaker Sisters

“Enjoy being you!” What?  

I was listening to a podcast on leadership and those words stood out to me. Lately, I’ve been too focused on my weaknesses. Big smile here, because I coach and train to focus on our strengths.

Old mindsets can come back if we’re not careful. We always need to be vigilant when it comes to our thinking. We were meant to become so much more. And not just me—every single one of us.

Take a look at our DNA. DNA is a 3-billion-character code that paints a picture of you and me. It’s a picture of our hair color, personality, physical attributes and every other thing about us. Nobody else has the same DNA. You have strengths, talents and gifts that nobody else has.

In a study done by StrengthsFinders, a product of Gallup, who has done decades of research on people’s strengths, consider the uniqueness in your Top 5 themes/strengths. The chance another person has the same group of strengths in their Top 5 is roughly one in 275,000. The AT&T stadium in Texas holds 80,000, so that is nearly 3 1/2 times the stadium’s capacity.

Not quite unique enough? Your strengths are listed in order of your intensity, making the combination of your talents even more distinctive. If you wanted to find someone with the same Top 5 strengths in the same order as you, the odds are one in 33.4 million. That’s nearly every person in the Greater Tokyo Area — the world’s most populous metropolitan area.

THESE ARE JUST THE TOP 5 STRENGTHS!


They test for 34. AND if you add your distinct personality style and your spiritual gifts and your specific talents, less than 1% of the world’s population would be anything like you. YOU, YES YOU, ARE SPECIAL.

For years, I compared myself to other people. If only I were prettier. If only I were smarter. If only I could speak like her. If only I had what he had. But comparison is exhausting because it asks us to abandon who we were created to be.

What if instead of trying to be someone else, we became the fullest version of ourselves?

Martha Graham, a very famous and inspiring dancer, whose works were intended to reveal the inner working of people says this.

“There is a vitality, a life, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” 

So, enjoy being you. Not because you’ve arrived. Not because you’re perfect. Not because you don’t have room to grow.
Enjoy being you because there has never been another you, and there never will be again.

Written with enjoyment, 

Jan

P.S. I recently finished writing an inspirational keynote based on my personal story. It’s about overcoming limiting beliefs, changing our thinking, and becoming who we’re meant to be. If you’re looking for an encouraging message for your organization, I’d love the opportunity to share it.

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

Continue Reading...

Leading UP

Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.”

–Thomas J. Watson


In the last couple of weeks, I have had these questions come up. “What can I do to have more influence over my supervisor?”  “How can I tell my boss he needs leadership training?”  “How do I convince people they need leadership skills when they don’t think they do?”

These are great questions. When one is used to being the leader, being told what to do or how to do it isn’t very comfortable. I just had this experience last week. I was volunteering somewhere and each person had their own little niche and it was quite evident that nobody was to interfere or help in their niche. Interesting. What was even more weird, are the feelings that arose when they started telling me what to do. Hmmm…I’m not proud to report that I got a little judgmental inside. I’ve not been in that position for a long time. I had to remind myself that I was NOT a CEO anymore. 

So let me give you some answers to those questions from my experience and from (of course) John Maxwell.

1. We need to lead ourselves with excellence and then model that behavior. Remember, we can’t give what we don’t have, AND we don’t get who we want, we get who we are. Great behavior influences those around us for the better.

2. We need to understand what is important to our boss or supervisor. What is the mission of the company from which your leader operates, or should? Really try and connect with your leader by investing in that relationship. John says to be a champion of what your leader desires. 

3. We aren’t always right. WHAT? Yes, keep an open mind and be willing to see your supervisor’s perspective. If it is not clear what is desired, ask questions with all gentleness and respect. Show curiosity and an eagerness to learn. Understand that your leader has the overall organizational picture in mind, not just your current situation. 

4. Know when to push back and when to back off. We must read the atmosphere of our workplace to determine the best timing to confront or wait for a better time. This doesn’t mean we never bring the situation up again, it just means we discern the right time. 

5. Be known as the “go-to” person. Develop the ability and willingness to tackle the tasks given us without complaining (or allowing our judger self to arise:) Make sure our body language agrees, as well, when we say, “Sure, I’ll do that,” even if the task is not our job description.   

6. Lastly, on this list anyway…and maybe it should be first. Make it your goal to make your leader successful. Be a team player and lighten your supervisor’s load–when he/she is successful, the whole organization succeeds. 

Yeah, if you were one who asked the questions, you probably didn’t want to hear any of this. We already know, especially if we have teenagers or spouses…or bosses, that we are unable to change anyone else. Transformation starts with me.

I can tell you from experience, when I stopped using my position as CEO for power, and started leading, the organization changed.  The culture became one of teamwork, everyone pitching in and knowing each others’ job descriptions so we could help each other.  Not because I was phenomenal–just ask them–but because good leadership is attractive…to everyone. My team learned to lead themselves with excellence and because of that, I desired to imitate them!  Their behavior and success made me and the organization look sooooo good! 

Go ahead, model great leadership behavior for those around you. It becomes contagious. If those who lead you are unable to “get it,” your own life will change. You will be transformed in the process and that, my friends, is so worth it. 

Thank you for asking, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

 

Continue Reading...

Be Like A Flower

--Jan McDonald

“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.”

–Maya Angelou

What if we always looked to the bright side?

I’ve noticed on Badger Mountain that some flowers, like the one in the picture below, turn toward the sun. I googled this to find out why.

Keeping the flower facing the sun warms it up. Warm flowers are more attractive to pollinators such as bees, which prefer a cozy blossom. For young sunflowers, tracking the sun maximizes their exposure to sunlight, fueling photosynthesis and helping the plant grow taller and stronger.

There are also flowers that close at night. This helps them conserve warmth and scent, keep their pollen dry, and protect themselves from nighttime predators.

As I thought about that, I wondered: What if we did the same thing?

What if we intentionally turned our attention toward the light rather than focusing on the darkness?

What if we cultivated a positive mindset and chose to believe that life happens for us, not to us? The Latin meaning of the word “for” is “in favor of.”

If we did this, we might begin to see challenges as opportunities for growth. We might start viewing failures as “learns.” We may even discover opportunities that had been hidden by the predators of negative thinking.

I believe we’d be happier, too.

Like bees attracted to a warm flower, people are naturally drawn to those who radiate hope, gratitude, and possibility. And just as flowers grow stronger by turning toward the sun, we grow stronger when we focus on what is possible rather than what is wrong.

The next time you’re tempted to focus on the darkness, remember that there is a bright side to every challenge, event, or circumstance that enters your life. Look for it.

You may be surprised by how much stronger, brighter, and more resilient you become—and how that light impacts those around you.

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team
 

Continue Reading...

Emotions Are Energy

“No matter the feelings, you can transform the energy of your emotions into your power.”

–Matthew Donnelly

“It’s okay, I just stuff that feeling when I get it.”

What?

As a recovering emotion stuffer, this reaction makes me smile…now. I wasn’t taught how to process my emotions. My parents were of the Builder Generation and emotions were not usually expressed…unless it was the arguments I heard from my bedroom as a little kid late at night.

The Latin derivative for the word emotion, ‘emotere’, literally means energy in motion. Emotions are just energy moving through the body. They are not good or bad, it’s the meaning that we attach to them.

The First Law of Thermodynamics (Conservation) states that energy is always conserved, it cannot be created or destroyed. In essence, energy can be converted from one form into another. What happens to emotions when they are not expressed? When anxiety, fear, resentment, sadness or any emotion that cause us to dislike ourselves and/or others are stuffed instead of processed, they have to go somewhere. Neuroscientists have come to the conclusion that stuffing results in a build up of energy in the body can manifest as stress. This can affect blood pressure, memory and self-esteem. Longer term, or chronic stress, can cause increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, depression, headaches, or anxiety disorders.

AND it takes even more energy to suppress them. Think about the last time you misunderstood what someone said to you. Instead of asking for clarification (because who desires the potential conflict that could result,) you just smiled and pretended to understand. You then went home and ran that conversation around in your head like a horse in a corral…for hours. What stories did you conjured up because you didn’t take the time to get curious about the real meaning. Or is that only me that does that?

Getting curious about the feeling, naming the feeling can be eye-opening. The body offers very insightful, accurate, and practical guidance when we get out of the way and just listen to it, without judgement. We can listen for the message that the emotion carries for us, too.

If we are in the habit of suppressing them, learning to feel and processing them feels awkward. Yes, like doing anything new for the first time. I had to get one of those emotion wheels which named the many emotions we could feel. Who knew there were so many. We get better as we practice “riding the emotional waves,” so to speak.

I can tell you from experience that I am happier and calmer because I’m learning this skill. I am also faster at identifying what I’m feeling. I don’t have to make up stories about the meaning behind unexpressed feelings, because I am learning the truth behind them and the REAL messages that they have for me. The more self-awareness I develop, the healthier I am, not only emotionally, but physically…and my relationships are better, too.

You can do it, and if you need some help, I’m here for you,

Typed with feeling,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

Continue Reading...

What Do We Do Now?

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

–Walt Disney

Think back to a time when you felt you lost everything. When was a time when your life seemed out of control and chaotic? Maybe you lost a loved one, or a huge business account. Or maybe you felt betrayed by a friend. You lost your job, or maybe an intimate relationship ended. Go back to that time and remember how you felt.

It was awful. Even though divorce had been my choice, I felt like I had failed. Emotionally, I let myself get to the point where I was the failure. My young son moved to California with his dad and I began the tough journey of single parenthood with my daughter. My self-worth plummeted and rather than feel those emotions, I drank more. Reliving that time in my mind brings back those same feelings.

Did you relive that time in your life? Then you remember your feelings at that time, too.

Here we are now…and we lived through that crushing time, didn’t we? Sure, looking back, maybe we think we would have done things differently, However, I think we did the best we could considering the awareness that we had at that time. We’re much smarter now and hopefully we learned some things from that hard time.

Here we are now…and we lived through that crushing time, didn’t we? Sure, looking back, maybe we think we would have done things differently, However, I think we did the best we could considering the awareness that we had at that time. We’re much smarter now and hopefully we learned some things from that hard time.

I heard a motivational speaker say this, “In the darkest hour is where the brightest light can shine. Sometimes our darkest season is the time where we need to step back and reflect on what God (or The Universe, if you prefer) has for us.” My experience has been that my toughest times caused the most growth in my life if I took the time to be still and listen for the lesson. Those times of reflection afforded me the perspective change needed to reinvent, rebuild or re-purpose. How can we harvest the good from those experiences? We can do what we did before in tough times…we rebuild, reinvent or re-purpose. We can get curious and ask ourselves some questions. What am I learning about myself during this time that will be valuable for my future? Where is the opportunity? How is this a wake-up call for me? How do I need to change the way I handle stress? What strengths are serving me and how do I develop those even more? Has my purpose been altered and if so, how? These are just a few. We will make it through this, just like we made it through the other hard times in our lives. This crisis, like all others, will pass.

And perhaps one of the most meaningful things we can do after walking through a hard season is to use what we learned to help someone else through theirs.

There another question we can ask ourselves; who can I serve during this time? Many of my best lessons have come to me when I was endeavoring to shine the brightest light in someone else’s darkest hour. My challenges didn’t seem so tough when I reached out to listen with others. AND I was given a perspective that I hadn’t thought about before. Purpose to reach out to others because we are not alone in this.

Do you need to talk? Do you need a thinking partner to reinvent, re-purpose or rebuild? I would enjoy brainstorming with you and I’m just an email away.

Reinventing,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/janmcdonald
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janmmcdonald

Continue Reading...

Happiness…An Inside Job

“Somewhere between stimulus and response lies our greatest freedom, our ability to choose, our ability to choose our state."

--Viktor Frankl

I taught a class during the lockdown in 2020 called The Habit of Happiness. I thought I could use a reminder these days, so I’m sharing with you just in case you need one, too. Here’s the gist of the 45 minute teaching. 

Happiness comes from within. It can’t be based on our outward life and circumstances because it’s conditional if we do that. Regardless of what’s happening, we get to choose our response, don’t we?  There is that quarter second lag time in the brain between the stimulus and our reaction. We can re-act like we’ve always acted or we can choose a new response. We can choose to harvest the good from even the worst of our conditions and circumstances.

The state of happiness isn’t connected to our money, possessions, our jobs, or other people. We all know people who get exactly what or who they wanted, and it wasn’t enough. AND those things can disappear in a moment, can’t they?  

We need to set the intention in advance to choose happiness. Dennis, my husband, quit drinking a couple of years after I did. We took separate cars to parties so I could leave if tempted to drink.  I had six phone numbers that I could call when I felt crazy enough to go back to drinking again. I became extremely intentional in creating strategies to thrive as a sober person.  We need to develop strategies for choosing happiness so it can become a habit…and these continued choices will make it a habit. 

Simple, right?  Are you kidding? Not always, but here’s what works for me,  besides being intentional about choosing  happiness. I created a mental image of the person that I want to become. Yes, I know this sounds unicornish, but, in the moments where I would rather throw things, curl up in a fetal position and cry, or trash talk to myself, I ask myself these questions:

Who do I want to be in this moment?  
How would my mentors react?  
What good can I harvest from this time? 
What behavior do I want to model for others?  

If the answers to the above questions are not congruent with the person I want to become, then I need to make a change.  Since I’ve been practicing this, processing emotions takes less time.  I can return to happiness sooner!  I’m creating a habit.  (Please don’t think that I am successful at this every time. I am a work in progress, like everyone else.)

I can allow my circumstances to steal my happiness or I can choose to harvest the good. I can choose to make lemonade out of the lemons. 

Of course, depending on who you are and where you are in your life, certainly the conditions and circumstances are gonna be different for all of us. But the choice is ours to harvest, in that moment, our own happiness.

Do you need some coaching?  Could you organization use some training?  I’d be delighted to serve you!

Squeezing lemons,

Jan

Jan McDonald 
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

Continue Reading...

What Style Are You

"Things change dramatically when we learn to speak with others in their preferred style."

--from my workshop

I was squeezing avocados in the produce department of WalMart and feeling frustrated because none of them seemed ripe. A lady came up next to me and pointed at the avocado in my hand and said, “No!” This was accompanied by some rapid fire Spanish while she pointed me to the exit.  What?  Was I squeezing the avocadoes too hard? Did she expect me to leave.  Wait a minute. There wasn’t a Wal-Mart nametag on her; what did she mean?  I gave her my friendliest “huh?” face. She gave me more Spanish.  She then gently took hold of my arm and led me over by the door. At that door was a huge display of ripe avocadoes!  She put one in my hand and smiled. After thanking her, I thought to myself, “It sure would have been nice to understand her language.” 

How many times in our daily lives do people talk with us and we perceive they are speaking in another language?  OR we tell someone something and what they hear is not what we said? 

The DISC Personality System is the universal language of behavior. In 1928, William Marston identified his DISC theory in a book called, “Emotions of Normal People.”  His theory identified that each of us is a combination of four primary styles; Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance. 

Words that describe people wired with a Dominant “D” style are bold, confident, decisive, results-oriented, risk-takers, big-picture thinkers and, of course, dominating. They are task-oriented and fast-paced.  Some famous people that are “D”s are Ben Franklin, Tiger Woods, Darth Vader and Jan McDonald:)

A person who is Influential “I” wired is the one that you want to invite to your parties. They are fun, friendly, inspiring, talkative, spontaneous and love being in the spotlight. They are relationship oriented and fast paced.  Well-known “I” wired people are Taylor Swift, Jay Leno, Oprah and Robin Williams. 

The best descriptive word of Steady “S” wired people is nice. They are loyal, helpful, reliable, peace-makers, team-oriented, steady and prefer to support others.  They are relationship oriented and slow paced. Steady-styled examples are Mr. Rogers, Charlie Brown and Anne Sullivan (Helen Keller’s teacher–I never would have thought that.)

Precise is one word that describes those that are Compliant “C” wired.  These people are very analytical, detail-oriented, organized, on time and not spontaneous. They are task oriented and slow paced.  Bill Gates, Thomas Edison and Mozart are “C” wired. 

This is a very short summary of these styles. Why is knowing these styles important?  Each of these styles has their own preferred language. As leaders, we want to connect in every situation, because connecting increases our influence. Once we know how someone else is wired, we can build even deeper connections and relationships.  We can communicate with them in the language that they prefer. 

I’ve been facilitating a number of DISC workshops with organizations.  One business owner’s big take-away from their workshop was, “I’ve been working with these people for years and never knew this about them. This will make our communication even better!” 

Yes, it will. AND not only will this change the workplace, but after my workshops, participants are able to identify the styles of other people in their lives.  Another participant shared last week, “I would bet that my daughter is a D and my son is an I. Knowing this will really make a difference in my parenting.” 

You can find much of this information online, but it’s not half as fun as developing awareness of yourself and those around you.  If you want an in-depth, 30-page, Maxwell Personality Indicator Report for your unique self or your team, marriage  or family,  just let me know. If your organization would like improve their communication and conflict resolution skills, DISC training is one of the most enjoyable things that I do, and the most eye-opening. 

“D” wired, 

Jan
Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

Continue Reading...

The Tooth I Lost…and The Mindset to Go With It

"Laying on the couch isn't a reward after the work is done—it’s part of how we lead well."

Good morning,

Last Monday, I had oral surgery because: 

Last summer I had this little “zit-like” thing on my gum. No pain, so I handled it myself (you know… poked it, peroxided it and moved on 

😄

). It went away… until it came back right before we went to Hawaii in January. Did I go to the dentist? No. I poked it and got on a plane.

Fast forward—right after our Hawaii trip, I broke a front tooth. I had to go to the dentist. While he capped that one, I casually asked him to take a look at the other one.  He looks at me and says,  “This doesn’t look good: how long have you had this infection?”

What? Infection?! Turns out it wasn’t “no big deal.” That tooth had to come out. Bone graft, implant later… and I’ll be without that tooth for a while.

This is the story I had written in my head that was stressing me out: 

“This is going to be awful.”
“I’m going to look terrible.”
“How can I work without this tooth?”  Come on, I even wore makeup to the surgery… 

😂

And when I looked in the mirror the next day, it didn’t look nearly as bad as I thought. The story I told myself was worse than the reality.

But there was another lesson in this for me. After the procedure, I had no choice but to slow down. No rushing. No powering through my to-do list.

Just… rest. And you know how I feel about that. Well, maybe you don’t, because I have written quite a few emails on self-care. You would think I would automatically practice self-care.  Laying on the couch feels wildly unproductive to me. My brain starts telling me all the things I “should” be doing.

On Tuesday, I felt great. Yay! I went for a walk and got a ton of stuff done. I even held my young adult Bible study. 

Wednesday…OMGoodness! I felt like I was hit by a train. The swelling and bruising on my face was ridiculous. AND I COULDN’T MOVE OFF THE COUCH. 

As I laid there, I thought: What if rest isn’t unproductive? What if it’s actually preparation? 

Here’s another story I had been holding onto…up until now–rest is weakness. (Did I actually write that out loud?) What if rest isn’t weakness? What if it’s stewardship? What if strength isn’t the ability to push through everything? It’s the wisdom to know when not to.  AND I’m writing this on Friday–it took me this long to figure this out. 

The story I thought was making me strong was actually the thing wearing me out. This experience shifted a mindset in me. Strength doesn’t look like constant output. It looks like trust. It looks like surrender. It looks like taking care of myself so I can show up fully for what matters most.

Sometimes we push through, minimize what’s going on, and tell ourselves we’ll deal with it later.
Sometimes we create stress by assuming how things will go.
And sometimes… we just need to stop and let our body (and our mind) catch up.

You might not have a tooth story this week (hopefully 

😄

), but you’ll probably have a moment where you feel the urge to push through.

When that happens, pause and ask: What story am I telling myself right now? And what would it look like to take care of myself in this moment? Do I need a mindset shift and if so, where? 

You don’t have to earn rest. You need it. 

I’m headed to the couch to practice my new mindset, 

Jan 

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

Continue Reading...

Leaders Don’t Keep Score

"The Platinum Rule says we should treat others better than they treat us. This is the essence of not keeping score."

--John Maxwell

Forgiveness is a subject that has come up a few times recently in individual coaching and in leadership development training. I taught it last week when I facilitated a short webinar on New Supervisor Pitfalls.  We all have the propensity to take offense from something said to us or a behavior that we didn’t agree with. If we aren’t careful, we attach that to the person. Maybe we avoid that person…maybe we erect a wall against that person and that relationship becomes strained. We can’t lead through a wall of resentment.

When leaders don’t keep score, something powerful happens. They’re not carrying yesterday into today. They’re not leading out of accumulated frustration or quiet resentment. They address the issue, document when needed, clarify expectations, and then they release it.

And when you release it, you’re free to lead forward.

Leading forward means setting clear expectations, following through consistently, correcting early, and holding high standards while valuing people equally. It means you don’t stay stuck in what went wrong — you use it to strengthen the standard and move the team ahead. That’s mature supervision. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is steady, forward leadership.

Maxwell’s book,  High Road Leadership, the principle “Leaders Don’t Keep Score” reminds us that great leaders:

•    Don’t tally up offenses or keep mental ledgers of who’s right or wrong.
•    Forgive quickly and lead forward, not backward.
•    Focus on solutions, not settling scores.
•    Give grace, not grudges. Think about it. When I mess up, I would love to be extended grace, wouldn’t you? 

Ryan Leak takes it a step further in his book, “How to Work With Complicated People,” says we should Pre-forgive. What? Yes. 

Decide ahead of time to let go of small annoyances and not let them derail our attitude. Forgiveness is ultimately a leadership decision, because it frees us to focus on growth and influence instead of resentment.

Are their places where you feel you have been keeping score? If so, what toll has that taken?  How does keeping score affect trust or collaboration on your team? 

Losing count, 

Jan 

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For more leadership tips, find me on Facebook @janbayermcdonald


For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email/
 

Continue Reading...

To Lead Well, Look in The Mirror

"The first and best victory is to conquer self."

--Plato

Some time ago, I listened to a great podcast by Andy Stanley on self leadership. Last week I had the privilege of facilitating a keynote on DISC styles. One thing we didn’t cover—blind spots.  Andy said that the greatest leadership challenge was in the mirror and one of those concepts he covered was blind spots.  If I cannot lead myself well, how am I to lead others? He gave three points that he believes helps him conquer self.

1. I will not lie to myself even when it hurts. The easiest person to deceive is me.  I have written about blind spots before. Blind spots are those areas that we can’t see, but often everyone else can. One blind spot that I have been working on is that I am not gentle when it comes to confrontation. WHAT?  I KNOW that’s not true:) Maybe in my own eyes. I have to be open to learning about areas in my life where I may be fibbing to myself. (Fibbing doesn’t sound as bad as lying.) I can’t lead myself OR others if I lie.

2. I will prioritize what I value most over what I want now. Successful leaders lead themselves toward what they value rather than what I want now.

One of our biggest blind spots is living for what feels urgent now instead of what matters most over time. Stephen Covey’s Funeral Exercise helps bring that into focus. When we pause and ask what we would want the people closest to us to say about our lives, we begin to uncover our true values. And once we see those values more clearly, we can also see the gap between what we say matters and how we are actually living. That gap is often where the blind spot lives.

Andy said that it’s the Immediate vs. the Ultimate and there’s a constant tension between the two. One blind spot many of us share is choosing the immediate over the ultimate.

It’s easy to fill our time with things that are good. But leadership often requires us to ask a harder question:

Is this the greatest use of my time and talent?

Letting go of lesser things—even good things—can be uncomfortable. But the real question is whether those things move us toward the life and leadership we want. Will those lesser things move us in the direction of the lives we desire? 

This brings to my mind, The Law of Sacrifice.  We need to let go of things of a lesser value, to attain those things of a greater value. For example, if we want a great retirement nest egg, then we can’t spend all our money now.  We may need to forego the Immediate of what we want now, for the Ultimate of living comfortably when we’re older. 

3. I will not attempt to lead myself by myself.  John Maxwell talks about this in the Law of the Inner Circle.  A leader’s position is determined by those closest to him, so we need to choose  wisely. Our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives. We can leverage this well by choosing friends that share our values, not just our interests.  Decide to choose a friend and/or mentor who will call you on your blind spots. Choose mentors or coaches who willingly jump in our stuff if we are making unwise choices.  

Something to think about as you start the week: where might there be a blind spot worth exploring?

Geesh, that’s a lot to think about. 

Jan 

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For more leadership tips, find me on Facebook @janbayermcdonald


For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email/

Continue Reading...

Bring Out Their Best

"True Joy comes when you inspire, encourage, and guide someone else on a path that benefits him or her."

Many organizations fail to tap into their potential. Why?  Because the only reward they give to their people is a paycheck. The relationship between employee and employer never develops beyond that point. Successful organizations not only compensate well, but nurture the people who work for them. 

In his devotional, “Leadership Promises for Every Day,”  John Maxwell uses the BEST acronym as a reminder of what people need when they start with his organization…and I believe every organization. They need the leader to:

1. Believe in them

2. Encourage them

3. Share with them

4. Trust them

Nurturing benefits everyone. What people wouldn’t be more secure and motivated when their leader does the above things. People are more productive when they are nurtured because it creates a strong emotional and professional foundation within those that have leadership potential. Later, using training and development, a leader can be built on that foundation. 

If you’d like to intentionally develop leaders within your organization, I’d love to help. My Developing Leaders Around You workshop equips leaders with practical ways to believe in, encourage, share with, and trust the people around them so leadership grows at every level.

If this sounds like something your team could benefit from, simply reply to this email and we can start the conversation.

Be your BEST!

Jan 

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For more leadership tips, find me on Facebook @janbayermcdonald


For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email/

Continue Reading...

The Law of Pain

Every problem introduces a person to himself."

--John McDonnell

In this next Powerful Connections mentoring group,  we’re looking at The Law of Pain — the idea that we all face difficult moments, but we get to choose whether they grow us or discourage us. Life brings both good and hard, and while we can’t control everything, we can control our mindset.

I love this thought: Life happens for me, not to me.
When we believe that, the good becomes sweeter and the hard becomes useful.

Here are a few small ways to practice that this week:

• Look for the solution — there’s always a next step.
• Ask, “What opportunity is hidden in this challenge?”
• Treat failures as learning–post-it notes, bubble wrap and Wheaties cereal were all epic fails at first. 
• Visualize a great outcome instead of the worst one. We know how to do this. We do it all the time when we worry–we visualize the worst case scenario. 

Pain is inevitable. Growth is optional.
This week, let’s choose growth — even in the hard.

Reflection:
Where might life be working in your favor right now, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet?

With you in the journey,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

For a friend to subscribe, here is the link

https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email

Continue Reading...

Where Should We Send The 5 Simple Steps to Maximize Your Effectiveness Guide?