About 3 months ago, I was wondering in my quiet time, “Should I facilitate a retreat based on my book, ‘Fruitful Leadership: Leading by The Fruit of The Spirit’?”  I wrote down my thoughts in my journal…”What if I’ve never held a retreat before? What if I can’t figure out how to do it?  What if nobody comes? What if I can’t find a place to have it? I have no clue how long it should be. What if…? Nah…too many unknowns for me.” 

I sat there for a moment. I crossed out those statements in my journal and wrote, “Wait a minute, I’ve facilitated impactful two day custom workshops before. I’ve planned successful fundraising banquets for 300 people.  What if I nail it?  What if it’s an epic success?”
 
There’s a different way to think about doing something we’ve never done. “What ifs” are not truth. Negative “what ifs” are just statements that our brain makes up to keep us in our comfort zone. What ifs are thoughts to keep us from getting hurt. We bump up against limitations that we have created in our minds.

Those self-created limitations are called the Terror Barrier.  The Terror Barrier lurks just outside the comfort zone waiting to pounce. It’s that feeling of dread or the certainty that we are doomed if we try the thing we want to attempt.  It’s that feeling a man gets when he wants to ask a woman out on a date.  It’s that feeling that we get when the boss calls us into his/her office. It’s that feeling most people get when they are asked to speak publicly.  It’s that feeling we get whenever we want to try something risky or new.

 Here’s 3 steps to becoming a wrecking ball on your personal Terror Barrier:

1. Do it afraid. Just keep moving forward no matter how badly your feet want to stay rooted to the ground.  Refuse to let this limitation (that probably was your own creation) to control you or your future.

2.  Expect the enemy. The Terror Barrier rears its ugly head every time we want to step into territory where we haven’t previously traveled. It’s natural and normal. Simply shrug and tell yourself, “Oh, there you are again. You’re trying to keep me safe. This must mean something great for me if you are trying to stop me.”

3. Keep your eyes on the prize.  Mentally see yourself winning. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  Focus on how good it will feel to break through–victory tastes sooooo sweet.

I think we have no idea what we are truly capable of. Today, when you are faced with the Terror Barrier, take the above 3 steps. You can do it. Smashing through that barrier is possible and remember, once you stretch that comfort zone, it never goes back to the original smaller shape.

By the way, I scheduled that retreat and then figured it out.  It’s this Friday night, April 23rd and Saturday morning, April 24th. Click here if you want more info:
https://janmcdonald.leadingthebest.com/UMST0001

Focusing on how good it will feel to break through, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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It’s been a process for me to learn to become more relationship oriented. I am a “D” (from the Maxwell Method of DISC Behavrioral Styles) and one of their characteristics is that they have an inherent need to be right. Understanding others? What’s that all about?

I found out that if I wanted to be successful and have a positive impact on others, I needed to understand other’s perspective. Since leadership is influence, how could I have any at all if it was “my way or the highway?” 

Think about what you want from others. Don’t you want to be listened to, respected, and understood?  An attorney was heard to say, “Half of all controversies and conflicts that arise among people are caused not by difference of opinion or an inability to agree, but by the lack of understanding of one another.”

In John Maxwell’s book, “Relationships 101,” he gives us keys to understanding other people.

 1.  Everybody wants to be somebody. Everyone wants to be valued by others. Everyone wants to have significance, to believe that their life matters.

2.  Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.  Once we show that we care about people, the way they feel about us changes. I have found that it isn’t always easy to care for other people–especially in the midst of conflict. It’s helpful for me during these times to try to remove the emotion and look at the situation factually, like an observer.  It is then that I can often see their point of view.

3.  Everybody needs somebody.  People can accomplish much more together than they can by themselves.  To offer to assist someone, even if they don’t think they need assistance, can open doors to deepen relationships.

4.  Everybody can be somebody when somebody understands and believes in them. I can think back to many times in my life when someone’s belief in my abilities helped me to grow into an improved me. Their encouragement and motivation helped me to see my potential.

5.   Anybody who helps somebody influences a lot of bodies. When we help one person believe bigger about themselves, we actually help a lot of people. What you give to one person, multiplies into the lives of other people in their sphere of influence.

Understanding these keys, will improve our understanding of others and improve our relationships. Even if we are not relationship oriented, there is hope, believe me.  It is a choice to understand people. The ball is in our court. If we want to have better relationships and more positive influence, we will choose to take a step back and try to understand others.

Go and grow, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I’m writing this on the Friday before Easter and I thought of what a grand emotion love is. I know, this seems kinda mushy, but imagine a life without love. Research says a baby’s brain will not develop properly in the absence of love.  Wow, that is powerful!  Love is very powerful. Look at your own life experiences. Can you recall a time when you felt unloved? How did that make you feel? Depressed? Lonely? Anxious?

Imagine a life full of love! Do you have that now? Are you content with the amount of love you have in your life?  Are you giving love to others?  Are you receiving love?  If you aren’t completely happy with your relationships both giving and receiving, then it may be beneficial to learn what options you have to create that life.
 
If you’ve been reading my emails, you know you can sit down right now and begin the process of creating that perfect life you desire–the life that is full of love and compassion and whatever else you want. I don’t use the word need because what we need and what we want are very different.  We all need food, shelter and water and according to research, love.  And we want many more things like comfort, warmth, relationships, fulfillment, purpose, and material things. 

So let’s focus on love for the moment. To achieve the love you want in your life, grab a piece of paper. Don’t use your computer or other device, as there is something magical to actually writing down your wants and mapping out your life.
 
Take the piece of paper and define your perfect scenario or definition for love.  What does it mean to you?  Take as long as you need and write as much as you can.  Describe it in detail.  If it means a foot rub every night from your significant other then write that. Maybe love means your car gets washed and vacuumed. Write whatever comes to mind and keep writing until you are satisfied that you have defined love.
 
Now, evaluate your current relationships.  Do they match what you define as love?  Are you satisfied with the love you are getting and, just as importantly, are you living up to your definition of love?  Are you giving this love to others?  It goes both ways. 
 
Know that you can’t change how someone else is, but truly look at how you are expressing yourself now.  People copy each other – if you give love unconditionally and expect nothing in turn, those closest to you, those who care and love you will reciprocate this love. Personally, I have found that unconditionally loving all the time is something that I need to work on. (Geesh, did I really write that out loud?)  You will find your relationships will become deeper and more satisfying as you focus more on your giving and less on your receiving.
 
Love is a wonderful thing – it needs nurturing and developing and now is the perfect time to start.

Love,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I love springtime. The bulbs and perennials are starting to break through the dirt. I planted my vegetable garden and the kale, lettuce, spinach and arugula are up.  Those sprouts are pretty tender yet, so I cover them with plastic on the frosty nights. My winter pansies that I planted last fall have a new lease on life and are blooming like crazy. New beginnings. 

Finally, the lockdowns are loosening in Washington State.  I chatted last week with a track coach and he said that the team members didn’t have any idea how to act at the first meeting.  They wondered if they could hug as they had missed their friends so much. How close could they get?  Are they able to run without masks if they distance? What about high fives?   What does practice look like and how do they hold track meets?

I get it…and I bet you do, too. Things are not the same, and they are still changing quite often. There are many things that are still out of our control. We can, however, control many things about ourselves. 

How do we begin anew? 

1. Reflect. Look at last year and remind yourself what you learned. What worked for you and what didn’t? What would you like this year to look like for you?  

2. Design. Now that you know what you would like this year to look like, create a plan that’s going to move you in that direction.

3. Baby steps. My favorite quote is from Thoreau, “When one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams and endeavors to live the life they imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”  Go ahead, advance confidently. 

4. Focus. Pay close attention to what you can control and let go of what you can’t. 

5. Hope. My definition of hope–the positive expectation of something great happening.  Live with the expectation that your designed life will come into manifestation as you move confidently in that direction.

Will there be speed bumps on the road to your desires?  Of course. Like tulips and daffodils, you’ll spring up in spite of the dirt and rocks in your way. Like the sun and warmth nourishes my winter pansies, hope and focus will feed your dreams and you will bloom where you are planted. 

If you need some help, I’m just an email away, 

Blooming,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team


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Many leaders view leadership the same way that they view success. They hope to go as far as they can to achieve the highest position that they can. Many times people do whatever it takes in the process, no matter who or what is negatively impacted.

The Law of Addition suggests otherwise.  John Maxwell quotes, “I believe the bottom line in leadership isn’t how far we advance ourselves, but how far we advance others.”  Valuing relationships is the foundation of leadership. 

All relationships either add to or subtract from a person’s life. If you can’t readily say “yes, I add to others’ lives”–then you may be a subtractor. I think people subtract from others unintentionally. They really don’t realize their negative impact on others. It happens because we are naturally selfish.
 
We need to become intentional about valuing and adding to others, because if we are subtractors and don’t change, the subtraction can turn into division or maybe misconception. 

I remember a time I evaluated a staff member. I always asked them if there is anything in my leadership style that they are were not excited about. Most of the time I didn’t like the answer, because it required change in me. This time was different. She told me that she noticed that I had been taking more time to come out of my office to just come and mingle. She said that made it easier for everyone to check in with me and she felt like I cared more. 

Okay. I had an open door policy to my office, but somehow it served them better if I came out of my little hovel to them. I had no idea.

How can you make things better for the people who follow you?  Better yet, how can you add value to those that are closest to you? For me, sometimes that is the most difficult.

Make adding value to others part of your lifestyle. That’s what it takes to become a leader whom others want to follow.

Leaders make things better for the team. Team members are excited to play the game, whatever that is in your organization, because the team knows that the leader has done everything that they can to enable the team to win.  

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team


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I was listening to a podcast by Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist at the University of Toronto. He was speaking in Sacramento, June 27, 2018, and I don’t remember everything that he talked about, but this one thing stood out to me.  In fact, it was so inspiring that I took notes on a receipt,  because I didn’t have anything else to write on while riding in the car. 

Studies have been done that reveal that you can actually recode your brain. When you stress yourself by doing something new, new genes turn on. These new genes code for new proteins which create new neuropathways. These pathways, along which information travels through the neurons (nerve cells) of the brain, can be compared with the paths through a forest. As people keep taking the same route through a forest, they wear out a path in it…this is how habits are formed, be they good or bad. Every time you learn something new, neural circuits are altered in your brain. 

Jordan said, “There is way more in you than you are manifesting right now.  What would you be like if you turned on everything in you that could be turned on?”  WOW, just wow! That is something to think about. 

It makes total sense because nothing can be more scary or stressful than venturing outside our comfort zone. Our comfort zone is a psychological state in which a we feel familiar, at ease, in control and experience low anxiety and stress.  I like it…and often, this is where I like to live. Experience has taught me that living in my comfort zone doesn’t produce the things in life for which I really yearn.  I have found that the more time I spend there, the less I actually desire in my life. 

There’s just something about stretching beyond my comfort zone that not only enhances my self-esteem, but it increases my creativity.  I have found that seeking new ideas, learning new skills, trying new experiences educates me in a way that nothing else does.  Once I expand my abilities, it opens up all sorts of possibilities for me. It can even cause me to challenge old beliefs and see them in new ways. It increases my faith in me. I am never the same after I venture out. Hmmm…could be that my brain’s been recoded. 

Faith and fear can’t exist at the same time. Go ahead, be brave, stick your foot out. My mentor once said that my comfort zone can almost become a prison if the dread of getting out there persists. Do one little thing daily that is new for you. When is the last time you tried something new? Take a new route to work. Change your radio station. Read a different type of book for you. Challenge a limiting belief. Forgive a person in your life. Dust off your dreams and ardently pursue them.

Imagine what you would be like if you turned on everything in you that could be turned on.  The sky is the limit. 

Bravely,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Successful leaders are intentional. They know what they are doing and why they are doing it. Here are some steps to become more intentional that come from “The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player,” by John Maxwell:

1. Have a purpose worth living for:  Purpose is something you do. You live your purpose through every single action you take and decision you make in life. What is that for you? When they put the tombstone on your head, what will you be grateful for? What will you be proud of? What will you regret? Those questions may help you find your purpose. 

2.  Know your strengths and your weaknesses:  Put yourself in the position that allows you to use your natural gifts and abilities. Playing to your strengths rekindles your passions and renews your energy. 

3.  Prioritize your responsibilities:  Once you know the “why” of your life, it becomes much easier to figure out the “what” and the “when.”

4. Learn to say no: If you try to do every good thing that comes your way, you’ll miss the best for you. You can’t accomplish much without focus. This was huge for me when I left my job to pursue my own business. I had many requests to serve on boards of directors and other great opportunities. Those things were all good, but the best for me was to live according to my purpose, which is coaching, consulting and speaking. 

5. Commit yourself to long-term achievement: Realize that most victories in life come to us as we persevere to achieve them. Most successes don’t happen overnight, but are realized by small incremental wins sustained over time. Yes, we need to be intentional in celebrating each of those small wins along the way. 

“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make us.”  Richie Norton

Intentionally typed,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Imagination is what allows us to create a life we wish we had.  By exercising that magnificent mental muscle, we can change our life’s outcome through our creative imagination by taking a moment and really imagining what it is we want – with clear details and practicing this everyday until what was once an idea becomes our reality. 

Without imagination we wouldn’t have all of the things around us.  Take the light bulb; Thomas Edison worked diligently on perfecting a commercially manufactured light bulb.  He imagined that it was possible and eventually achieved success.  He has been quoted as saying “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  What if he had not used his imagination and believed in the possibility? 

Napolean Hill devotes a whole chapter to imagination in his book, “Think and Grow Rich.”  While we can imagine all sorts of fabulous dreams and scenes in our minds, I think we forget that we can use our imagination in a negative way–when we worry.  Worry is when we focus on a future negative. We often focus on and imagine those particular negative scenarios taking place in our lives.

And the funny thing is, those events, circumstances, and conditions haven’t even transpired yet, and we don’t even know if they ever will.  Ninety percent of the things we worry about never happen anyway.  But we so often worry ourselves sick (quite literally), imagining all the possible negative scenarios that could play out.

What are you worried about today? If you stop for a moment and reflect on what it is you’re thinking about, are you focusing on what it is that you want in your life, what it is that you desire, or are you focused on the exact opposite; on what you don’t want to happen? 

As Napoleon Hill said, and I truly believe, “your only limitation in life is in the development and use of your imagination.” Why not develop your imagination and focus on what you truly desire in your life–because what we focus on grows and multiplies. 

Still imagining Maui,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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We’ve all been in a situation where we have walked into a party or meeting and thought, “This just doesn’t feel quite right. I’m not sure I like the vibe here.”  The Law of Vibration states that everything in the Universe moves and vibrates – everything is vibrating at one speed or another. Nothing rests. Everything you see around you is vibrating at one frequency or another, and so are you.  Can you remember a time when you were thinking about someone and out of the blue, that same person calls. That’s the law of vibration at work. 

We are all connected.  If you took a powerful microscope and viewed your hand, you would not be able to differentiate where your hand begins and ends.  All things are in a constant state of vibration.  The only difference between one thing and another is in the density or amplitude of vibration. Therefore, we are all connected. 

When you have a thought – your brain sends out vibrations.  Sometimes these are positive thoughts and sometimes these are negative thoughts.  Either way, the vibrations are sent out.  If you concentrate on a thought, you are increasing the density or amplitude of the vibration of those cells and the electric waves become more potent. 

Those electrical waves are originating in your mind and you are choosing the density of the vibrations. Think about how powerful that is – you are choosing the density of the vibrations of your thoughts! 

“Thoughts are things.”  Napolean Hill 

Everything is a manifestation of vibration. The difference is the rate of vibration or frequency.  When you are in harmony with something, you resonate with it – you are in harmonious vibration.  

By concentrating on and sending out vibrations of an image in your mind, in the present tense, you are vibrating in harmony with every particle of energy that is necessary for the manifestation of your image on the physical plane.  By holding that image, those particles of energy are moving toward you and you toward them – that is the law of vibration.

Think about the law of vibration – take some time to really think about this–that’s why imagining your future as you desire it to be is so important.  In 2019, I continually imagined myself on a sandy beach; my toes burried in the warm sand, feeling and smelling the salt sea air, listening to the sea gulls, experiencing the warmth of the sun and the breeze. In January of 2020, I spend 10 days in Maui with my daughter.  Coincidence? Test this law for yourself.  

“Where your focus goes, there your energy flows.” 

You will see that through the law of vibration, you will attract to you exactly that which you resonate with, that which you are in harmony with, that which you expend energy thinking about.  If you think about lack – you attract lack.  If you think about abundance – you attract abundance.  What are you vibratingout? What are you attracting to yourself.  It’s something to think about. 

Imagining Maui,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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“Girls don’t go to college.”  I heard my dad say this to my sister when I was seven years old. She was 16 and really wanted to go to college. That was my dad’s final answer.  Back in the day, we didn’t question Dad…well, not when I was younger anyway.  But I had questions in my own mind; Why? Why don’t girls go to college?  I knew boys went to college because I had a couple of cousins that we going at the time. Are girls not smart enough, good enough? That thought went into my young mind as a belief that if girls didn’t go to college, they must not be “good or smart enough.”

“She’s too little. There’s no way she can help us win.”  That’s what they said about me on the playground. I was always chosen last, if I was chosen at all. My teacher, Miss James would often make them choose me and that choice was accompanying by groans and jeers.  AND I was too short for the longest time to get on the Ferris wheel at Euclid Beach amusement part. Being little wasn’t enough either. 

Wow, two strikes against me–being a girl and being little–and there were more. Our beliefs, positive and negative, are put into our minds when we’re young. Often, well-meaning people say things that are not intended to be negative, but impact our lives just the same. Our experiences and perceptions of them can contribute to our programming, as well. 

These beliefs impact our self image in such a way that we may sabotage our success until we uncover those limiting beliefs and change them.  Our self image is composed of beliefs that we hold about ourselves.  I’ve studied and facilitated classes on self image and the truth is that we never out perform our self image. We can’t become more than we believe we can. 

The awesome part about all of this is that these beliefs can be rewritten. Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist says this, “Regardless of the ways we have chosen to react in the past, painful toxic thoughts can be reconceptualized and reconstructed.”  It’s true and that has been my experience! 

I invite you to join me for a webinar on rewriting your story. Let’s get together for an hour on Tuesday night, Feb.16th, to learn how do just that.  Register here: https://janmcdonald.leadingthebest.com/WERY0001

I hope you’ll join me. Nothing makes my happy dance more than helping individuals change and out grow those beliefs and perceptions that may be holding them back!

Excitedly typed, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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This is an email that I wrote back in 2017, the year that I was beginning to transition out of my job and into my own business. 2020 was pretty disruptive for many of us. It might be a good time to review our personal mission statements.

In the chapter on mission statements in the book “Five Most Important Questions.” Peter Drucker discusses organizational mission statements thoroughly. While writing this book in 2015, Drucker noticed that not much was written on personal mission statements.

His organization did a large study on the relationship between happiness and meaning with both organizational and personal satisfaction in life. They found that both happiness and meaning are important when creating a personal mission. In this study, happiness is defined as personal enjoyment of the work itself, not just the results. At the high end of the scale, loving what you do creates happiness.

By meaning, Drucker refers to the value that you give to your work. At the high end of the scale, you deeply believe that the results of what you do matter and are important. They also found that individuals have different and unique definitions of happiness and meaning. No one can tell you what makes you happy or what is meaningful to you. These answers come from the heart.

Their research also showed that the only way to have high degrees of satisfaction with life and work was to engage in activities that produce happiness and meaning at the same time.

Does what you do make you happy? Do you believe what you do matters?

What is your mission? Here are some steps to create more satisfaction in your life and work:

1. Create a clear personal mission for yourself. Drucker says it should be short, clear and fit on a t-shirt.
2. Look into your heart and do what really matters to you.
3. Make sure the process of achieving your mission is one that you love. Do what makes you happy.
4. Analyze how you spend your time. Spend the majority of your time doing things that simultaneously bring happiness and meaning.

I love coaching, speaking and training and deeply believe that what I do matters. Last year caused me to look deeper into my priorities…I need a personal mission statement rewrite. Such a statement helps prevent personal “mission drift” just like a mission statement does at any organization.

How about you? Does yours need a rewrite? Or do you have one? If you don’t, what do you think about establishing one? If you need help fleshing it out, give me a call.

Thinking,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I recently grabbed and reread “The Inner Game of Tennis,” by Timothy Gallwey. I’m not a tennis player, but what made me want to read it, is that Tom Brady, of the New England Patriots, at the time the book was written, said that the book taught him mental toughness, I can certainly use a dose of that focus and mental toughness that keeps him winning.

I was reminded that the book was about coaching. Not coaching, like Pete Carroll of the Seattle Seahawks, but about performance and professional coaching.

The premise of the “Inner Game of Tennis,” is that we are really two people living inside ourselves. Self 1, the conscious mind, is the “teller,” and Self 2 is the “doer”, or the subconscious mind. When Self 2 learns and masters a task on its own, it remembers the task. It’s instinctive and natural. The challenge is when Self 2 is listening to chatter from Self 1. Self 2 is unable to focus on the task, over-analyzes, tries too hard and is stressed into getting unfavorable results. It is the constant thinking/talking activity of Self 1 which causes the interference with the natural learning capabilities of Self 2. Winning this game between Self 1 and 2 is what creates mental toughness. Quieting Self 1 is necessary for reaching your full potential. Gallwey gives us skills to quiet Self 1, one of which I am going to discuss today.

We have to learn to let go of the inner process
of judging ourselves.

Stop belittling ourselves when we make a mistake or fail at something. There’s no shame in making a mistake when we are learning a new skill, or when we have learned something new about ourselves. Learn to see our blunders as a part of our developing process–a part of growing into who we want to become.

It’s a good thing we didn’t have a highly developed Self 1 when we were learning to walk. We’d all still be crawling, because Self 1 would tell us, “Do it this way. No, you’re going to fall. Watch out, Stupid, you’re going to hit your head again. Don’t you ever listen? You’ve tried it that way a ton of times and you’re too clumsy.” As babies, it didn’t matter how many times we failed, or banged our head, our natural desire to learn to walk triumphed.

Many Self 1 scripts were learned from experiences or people in our past. Listen the next time your judger Self 1 starts in on you. Ask yourself where that came from. Chances are there isn’t much truth behind those belittling statements. Observe your actions, emotions, from the outside as neither good nor bad, they just are. Napolean Hill says “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Become aware of your Self 1 chatter. Deny your critic, quiet your Self 1 and let your brilliant Self 2 take over and naturally learn.

Serving aces,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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The last couple weeks of the year is the time that I set goals for the new year. I do love this time, though. My reflection time includes looking at what was great about the last year, what was not so great, what goals I achieved…or not. This enlightenment comes from reading through my journal from the year. Then I spend time dreaming about what I want the next year to look like.  When I have that picture, I write down goals to get what I desire. Many times, it’s just revamping or re-dating those goals I didn’t quite accomplish. Sometimes, I see a whole new vision within my purpose.

Join me in imagining your 2021 and executing a plan to achieve your goals. My whole desire in writing these emails to you is to help you develop your leadership ability, especially the ability to lead yourself well.  I am delightfully amazed at how something so simple has transformed my life and relationships and I can see that for you, too.  AND I truly desire for you to be able to accomplish ALL of your dreams and goals.

This plan I am giving you is not going to be difficult. It’s meant to get you started.  

Step 1—Get away by yourself. After you’ve turned off your cell phone and your technology notification beeps, close your eyes. Really think about what you want your life to look like? Who do you want to become? What do you want your relationships to look like? How much money do you want to make? How is your health?  Could that use improvement?  If you could not fail, what would you attempt?  What does your spiritual life look like? These are just a few questions to get your brain thinking.

Step 2—Write down a simple sentence or affirmation describing the picture in your head of the aspirations that you have decided upon. One of my affirmations is “Loving, patient, creative, persistent and disciplined are the qualities that describe me.” (okay, stop laughing.  I said to imagine who you want to become:)  Write them in the present tense, like you have already achieved them. Your brain is a goal-seeking mechanism—it wants to do what you tell it.

Step 3—Attach a date to your potential achievement of that goal. When do you want to achieve millionaire status?  When do you want to pay of that credit card?  When do you want to be 10 pounds lighter? It is difficult to put a date on becoming patient or disciplined because “becoming” is a process and unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight. I wish I could tell you differently.

Step 4—Write every one of your affirmations on two 3 X 5 cards.  Keep one card by your bed and the other in a place where you will check it in the daytime.  Read them twice a day. I found this to be important for me, especially in the area of developing personal characteristics. Reading them aloud, reminds me of the direction I am  moving toward. It helps prevent the “Squirrel!” distractions that may take me off of my chosen path.

Step 5—Plan backward from the end goal to break it down into bite-size pieces that are attainable.  For example, if you have a weight loss goal that you want to achieve in 6 months, how much do you need to lose per month? Break that down into daily tasks that are doable.  Do that for each one of your goals.  Put those goals somewhere, in your calendar or in your phone, so you can track them.

Step 6—Just get started.   Take one small baby step in the direction of your goals and dreams.  This step includes telling someone you trust that will cheer you on.

TADAH! You did it!  It wasn’t that hard, was it?

Setting a goal is really about changing ourselves for the long-term. Jim Rohn quotes, “The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.” So, go ahead,  show the world who you want to become and what you want to achieve. You are so worthy of whatever it is you desire to have or become.

If you need assistance, I am just an email or phone call away. 

Blessings on your 2021!

Jan

Jan McDonald

John Maxwell Team

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Tonight starts “Breakthrough to Your Best You, the Sequel.”  This is a class that I’m teaching again by popular demand.  One of the modules is on Self-Sabotage and the idea for this content came about because there are areas where I sabotage my success and I wanted some answers.

While preparing, I came across some wisdom shared by prior participants.  So as not to blow anyone’s cover, I’m not going to be using any names of the geniuses behind this email…unless, of course, it’s me:)  
 

Self-sabotage is cunning–most of the time we are not aware that
we are doing it. We get caught in the web of our subconscious mind and old programming.

The first brilliance shared on the call was that overthinking was sabotage. This person called it “ruminating,” like when a cow chews its cud. Overthinking the problems, rather than the possibilities, is paralyzing. Taking action is not even on the radar screen. The words used to describe this sabotage, “The possibilities only happen when I take action. All the things that I think are problems would not be problems if I would act, even if I didn’t know how it would turn out. It never turns out the way I think it will anyway.” Someone said that more than 90% of things that we worry about never happen anyway.

Another person shared that sabotage had to do with age and he/she was totally unaware that he/she was using this to hold herself back in areas. It was tough to learn new software and technology. Accompanying that was eating unhealthy things at night, which totally undid their weight loss program. “I’m older–I deserve to be able to eat this way.”

Another participant shared about self-talk and the lies we believe about ourselves that cause us to sabotage.

We also came to the conclusion that sabotage is selfish. WHAT? How could that be? We don’t live on an island, others are impacted by our behavior. Think about some of the habits or conditioning that we have. We don’t think we are worthy to have the good in life. We procrastinate because there’s always tomorrow. We compare ourselves to others. Maybe we fear intimate relationships, so we push away those we love. We drink, eat, tweet and facebook too much. We can’t control our anger in conflict. Think of this list in terms of relationships and the resulting impacts on them.

Lastly, we all came to the conclusion that it is selfish to the One who created us. Your worldview may call that One the Universe, the Source. Intuition or whatever. I call Him God. God has given us all of these talents and gifts so we can make a positive difference in His world. When we behave in ways that are “less than” who we know we can be, we are hiding our brilliance, gifts and talents under limiting beliefs that don’t serve us or anyone else for that matter.

Here’s a couple of short tips to help you overcome sabotage:

1. Watch for self-sabotaging behavior and pause momentarily the next time you recognize it. Identify the feelings behind it. Why am I doing that yet again? Why am I reacting this way? What do I want to get from this behavior? How’s that working for me? Most of the time it isn’t working.

2. Create an positive affirmation statement to combat the negative thinking that is taking place in your mind. How do I want to feel? How would I rather respond instead? Imagine yourself overcoming, because you can. You get to choose our thoughts and actions.

Self-sabotage is a tug of war between our subconscious and conscious mind. Until we make the unconscious conscious, we can’t win the war.

If you need help with self-sabotage, email me. If you want to hear more or participate in Breakthrough, the Sequel, let me know that, too.

Growing with you,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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My favorite leadership law is the Law of Magnetism.  Who I am is who I attract. Thoughts are things, and they attract to me what I think about. When I worked for a non-profit, my experience was that there was one mindset that held many non-profits back from explosive funding. That was (and maybe still is) the scarcity mindset.  I used to think that way, too.

I remember the cure…I fought hard for a speaker for our fund-raiser whose fee was $10,000. Gulp, we’d never paid that before. But I was sure…my intuition and his track record told me that  he would bring great results. I’d read his books and I knew how much faith he had.  He believed and expected to achieve the absolute impossible. If he could, we could.  AND WE DID. We raised more than we ever did that night–in fact, he set a record. That speaker was a magnet for great things. It also set higher standards from that time on for our financial partners.  He changed our thinking!

That experience cemented abundance thinking in my mind.  Today, nine years later, my life, business
and relationships have changed to reflect that.

The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition, credit, power and/or profit—even with those who help in the production. They also have a hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people. These are the people who never have enough time, money, energy or resources to achieve their goals. They frame their challenges around what they lack.  Preservation rather than expansion is the lens they look through. They like familiar– “we’ve never done THAT before,” rather than risk. They set goals based on what they were able to achieve, rather than what may be possible. In a culture of perceived lack, people become nervous and afraid to make a mistake and creative thinking suffers.

The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth or security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in the sharing of prestige, recognition, profits and decision-making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives and creativity.  A person with the abundance mindset doesn’t settle with “we can’t afford it,” they ask “how can we afford it?” That kind of thinking opens up myriads of possibilities! A person with an abundance mindset thinks about what they want and expects that there is a way to get it. Abundant mindset people are optimistic and choose to see obstacles as opportunities. They see the glass half full rather than half empty.

Leaders create the culture of our workplaces or homes, and mindsets are awfully contagious. Which mindset do you want to operate out of?  Which mindset do you want your team  or your family to run on?  What/Who do you want to attract into  your life? We, as leaders, need to model the behavior that we want to see in our people.

Steven Covey, author of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” says, “There is enough pie to go around, so break that nasty habit of comparing yourself to others. Repeat after me: There is plenty for everyone. Say the sentence often enough, and it’ll become second nature.”

Begin to think abundance…because you deserve it.
 
Thinking differently,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Spring of 2014 proved to be a brutal season for me as the CEO of Life Options. We launched our mobile center, which is not like launching a “brick and mortar” pregnancy medical center. Yes, the policies and procedures and the standard of care are all the same, but who knew how the heater on a mobile unit  worked?  Automatic levelers, what are those for? Black water, grey water…what is the difference? We had six very excited drivers, but scheduling them at the beginning was like herding cats. I can’t begin to tell you all of the challenges which surrounded the mobile center.

To make matters worse, I had one staff member who was, let’s just say, less than stellar. This one relationship became strained, but because I felt sure I could train and communicate better, I tried to make it work. That didn’t happen.

Then in July our funding tanked. Life Options had experienced severe funding shortages only 3 times in the 10 years prior to 2014. The last time had occurred in 2010.

I remember telling my board of directors that I felt like we were stuck.  Prayers felt like they were unanswered. I would go home at night, exhausted. I quit in my head more times than I like to admit.

Finally, I went into my library to hopefully find a book that might offer a solution to this “stuckness.” One book stood out to me—“The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership,” by John C. Maxwell.
 

I grabbed that book and took it to bed to read. I recognized myself in the first chapter. I had stopped growing and so had Life Options. 

The Law of the Lid is explained in the first chapter of John’s book. Essentially, there is a lid on a person’s leadership ability and this lid determines his level of effectiveness. The lower a person’s ability to lead, the lower the lid on his leadership ability, and the lower his effectiveness. This is shown in the charts from the book below.

The chart on the left shows a competent or productive person without leadership skills. This person can work very hard to increase his or her dedication to success through sheer effort. Effectiveness may increase, say 25%. Let’s say that our leadership is at a level 4.

There’s another option. Let’s work really hard to increase our leadership skills to maybe a 7 and look what happens in the second chart. Leadership has a multiplying effect on effectiveness.

If the leader doesn’t grow, the organization doesn’t grow. Why do they fire the coach when the football team isn’t winning? If the coach were an extremely effective leader for the team, it would be winning more games.

A person’s impact is only a fraction of what it could be without leadership ability. Your ability to cast vision for your business…to get a team of like-minded people together…to unite those people behind a common vision…to get their goals in alignment with the team goals… to get the right people on the bus and the wrong people off the bus… is determined by how well you lead.

How is your organization growing? Think about your team for a moment–how can you tell they are like-minded ? What are you doing to grow?  Growing and implementing leadership principles in my life and in the organization resulted in immense expansion.  This might be a great goal for 2021–to increase your leadership skills and personal growth. It spills over into every area of your life and improves it. 

Go and grow!

 Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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