Are Dennis and I the only couple that speaks–okay–yells at each other from 
different parts of our home?

Do we all genuinely have the interest to want to know the answer to this question when we see someone, “How are you doing?” Do we all genuinely want to know the answer to this question when we see someone, “How are you doing?”

When was the last time you were misunderstood? Or when has someone told us something and we didn’t hear? When was the last time you asked a question and when you answered the other person was looking at their cell phone the whole time? 

I don’t remember where I read this, but in one of John Maxwell’s books, he says that the best gift we can give, the best way we can add value to another, is to listen to them. 

When was the last time someone actually listened to hear what you were saying…they weren’t thinking about how they were going to reply?  Did they seem really interested in what you were saying? 

I have to confess that when I am in the middle of a task, my listening skills can fly right out the window. Or I perceive that someone is taking way too long to finish their thought and I interrupt and finish it for them. OOOOOKAAAAYYY.  

Let’s look at some ways that we can add value to others by giving them the gift of listening.  

1. Put down our cell phones, close our computers, turn off the television and shut the iPad. Give the other person the gift of our full attention. When I am in the middle of something, I have learned that I need to ask the person if they can wait a moment until I finish what I’m doing. If I don’t, I will still be thinking about my task and won’t be focused on what they are saying.

2. Maintain eye contact–that prevents us drifting out of the conversation.  

3. Refrain from judging. Judging prevents clarity in hearing their thoughts and we expend our energy forming an opinion rather than really hearing. Slipping into judger mode or becoming defensive causes the fight or flight response in our body.  You know what that does…all the blood drains out of our brains into our extremities so we can flee the situation or put up our dukes.  How good is our listening or even our thinking when that happens?

4. After the other person has spoken, repeat back to them in the form of a rephrase. These recapping statements are tentatively spoken. We can start with, “I heard you say,” or “Did I hear this right?” Then rephrase or recap what you heard.  This gives them the opportunity to elaborate in the case that we heard incorrectly, or they weren’t clear in their sharing. 

5. Be curious. Listen for the words behind the words. Seek to understand the full meaning of what they’re saying, and by all means, don’t interrupt or finish their sentences. 

When someone listens to me with their full attention, I feel appreciated, cared for and valued. I think I may have written this for me, but I hope you’re getting  some value, as well.  Big smiley face here.  You always know where I’m struggling from these emails…or what I’m teaching on the next week:)  Challenge yourself this week to listen like this…give the gift of your full attention. 

I bet you have other suggestions to add to my list.  Please email me if you do!  

I’m listening, 

Jan

Jan McDonald

When I work with executives, delegating can be a tough concept for them to grasp.  I’ve been there. I didn’t enjoy giving up control, especially when I knew it would be faster and easier to do it myself. Besides, nobody could do it as good as I could.  Big smile here, because when I began to delegate, I found that my team members often had better ideas and better ways of doing it.

As the leader, the buck stopped with me. I enjoyed sharing in the success of a task given to someone else. However, if a mistake or there was failure, ultimately I was held accountable for it.

I found these four brilliant steps to make delegating uncomplicated in the Maxwell Daily Reader:

1. First, I do it. I learn to do the job. I need to understand the why as well as the how.

2. I do it–and you watch. I demonstrate it while you observe. I explain what I’m doing and why as you watch the process. As a task oriented person, I need to make sure that I’m detailed enough, so I ask questions to make sure you understand well. You are able to ask as many questions as you need, as well.

3. You do it–and I watch. I give you permission and authority to take over the job, but I stay with you to offer advice, correction and encouragement. This helps me to trust you with the job AND you develop trust in yourself as you complete the task with excellence.

4. You do it. Once you are proficient, I step back and let you work alone. You are drawn up to a higher level because you learn to trust yourself and I am freed up to move on to higher things.

Does this way of on the job training take time? Absolutely. But it is so worth it. When I learned to delegate in this way, my staff rose to the occasion to accomplish the tasks I had given them. Many times, these tasks were out of my strength zones but within the talents and strengths of others.  I was freed up to achieve the goals for which I was hired, like visioning, strategizing and future planning.  Delegating became a “win-win.”

And it still is!

Jan

Jan McDonald

I’m re-reading a book by Peter Drucker called “Five Most Important Questions.” While writing this book in 2015, Drucker noticed that not much was written on personal mission statements.

His organization did a large study on the relationship between happiness and meaning with both organizational and personal satisfaction in life.  They found that both happiness and meaning are important when creating a personal mission. In this study, happiness is defined as personal enjoyment of the work itself, not just the results. At the  high end of the scale, loving what you do creates happiness.

By meaning, Drucker refers to the value that you give to your work. At the high end of the scale, you deeply believe that the results of what you do matter and are important. They also found that individuals have different and unique definitions of happiness and meaning. No one can tell you what makes you happy or what is meaningful to you. These answers come from the heart.

Their research also showed that the only way to have high degrees of satisfaction with life and work was to engage in activities that produce happiness and meaning at the same time.

Does what you do make you happy?  Do you believe what you do matters?
 
What is your mission?  Here are some steps to create more satisfaction in your life and work:

1.  Create a clear personal mission for yourself. Drucker says it should be short, clear and fit on a t-shirt.
2.  Look into your heart and do what really matters to you.
3.  Make sure the process of achieving your mission is one that you love. Do what makes you happy. 
4.  Analyze how you spend your time. Spend the majority of your time doing things that simultaneously bring happiness and meaning.

I love coaching, speaking and training and deeply believe that what I do matters.  My priorities have changed a bit this year…I believe I need a personal mission statement rewrite to reflect that.  Such a statement helps prevent personal “mission drift” just like a mission statement does at any organization.

How about you? Does yours need a rewrite?  Or do you have one?  If you don’t, what do you think about establishing one?  If you need help fleshing it out, give me a call.

Thinking, 

Jan

 When I was the CEO of a non-profit, I wanted to be on the cutting edge and serve with excellence. I was always looking for better ideas or even new ways of doing things. I’m still that way.  I look back on our exponential expansion and marvel at the things that we accomplished.

We found one sentence that could nip a great idea in the bud, “But we’ve never done it that way before.” Our answer to that statement became, “Yes, isn’t that exciting?”  Okay, most of the time:)

If we are going to improve and change, we can’t keep doing whatever it is that we are doing the same way.

I’ll never forget when someone donated a motor home in 2013 to convert into a mobile clinic. Waaaat? I had no clue about anything regarding motor homes, let alone retrofitting it to use as a mobile clinic. That mobile clinic impacted three outlying communities that wouldn’t have had our services otherwise!
 
How did we transition? How did we innovate? Here are steps we took that may help you:

1. We found someone else who had already done it and asked them for help. We found out how they did it. It gave us knowledge that we didn’t have. That knowledge moved us forward more quickly than if we had tried to go it alone.

2. We brainstormed it. We were amazed at the fresh ideas that came from throwing ideas out and writing them on a flip-chart. We always heard, “I never thought of it that way before.”
 

“Capital isn’t so important in business, experience isn’t so important…. What is important is ideas. If you have ideas, you have the main asset you need, and there isn’t any limit to what you can do with your business and your life.” 
Harvey Firestone

3. We kept looking at the result of what we wanted to accomplish. We focused on the goal and not the obstacles. Concentrating on the why and the what, brought the how ideas out of the woodwork.

4. Last, but certainly not the least, we learned to embrace change (actually, embracing change became our mantra way back in 2009.) Change is going to happen anyway and it takes so much energy to fight. So we decided to harness that same energy to achieve our goal.

That statement, “We’ve never done it that way before,” brought a smile to those of us who were on that team. We knew those words and the corresponding steps to take could cause positive change and dramatic growth—not only for our organization, but for us individually!

Embracing change,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Certified Leadership Team

For more leadership tips, follow my facebook page @janbayermcdonald

I also have a private group for Christian Professionals with more personal and professional growth tips: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/476876726881845

Dennis and I live far away from our adult kids and grandkids. One of the questions we asked ourselves on Christmas was, “How can we leave a legacy when we live so far from our children?”  That led to a conversation about leaving a legacy in general.  Legacy is a deep thing to ponder when goal setting. Who do I want to become? What will my signature be on the life I leave behind?  I know my children have some scars from the life that I led before I sobered up.  (Ha! Don’t l most children have some kind of scars from childhood?)

Since everyone leaves some kind of legacy, what kind of legacy can we leave starting now? We need to be intentional about deciding what kind of legacy we’re going to leave and how we’re going to accomplish that.

First, decide what kind of legacy we want to leave. Most people generally just accept their lives, they don’t lead them.  Are we living the preferred vision for our lives or have we settled into our comfort zones?  What values do we live by?

“Someday people will summarize your life in a single sentence.
My advice: pick it now.”

                                                                                          –John Maxwell

Second, live the legacy we want to leave.  We  have to live the life we say we believe in. I don’t think that legacy is taught, I think it’s more caught.  We need to model what we desire to see in others.

Third, who do we want to carry on our legacy?  This question is not only if we are leading an organization, business or non-profit. This is for Moms, Dads and the rest of us, too. We all have a sphere of influence. Yes, not everyone will carry on our legacy, but there will be those who will step forward of their own accord because they like what they see.

Fourth, make sure we pass the baton.  The best leaders don’t just live for today, we live with tomorrow in mind.  Steven Covey says that we need to begin with the end in mind. Pour into those that desire your gifts and knowledge and want to carry those on.

We all hope that our lives matter in some way. We want to be remembered for the good that we contributed to the world. Our lives may not be world-changing, but our fingerprints will be all over those lives that we have touched.

Yes, I know, this is a lot to think about for New Year’s Day. It’s the beginning of the year and it’s a great time to envision what we desire to be different in 2023…and beyond.

Blessings on your New Year,

Jan

Every year on December 1st, I take the month to go through my journal to review and reflect on the past year.   I am astonished at how much I have learned. I’m also amazed at the lessons that I have missed and need to focus on learning those.  Those unlearned lessons become a goal for next year–because it’s becoming the person that I need to become to succeed on my journey. 

I know, my last email was about reflection, (https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/blog/is-experience-the-best-teacher ) but I love this time so much, I had to share! My reflection time includes looking at what was great about the last year, what was not so great, what goals I achieved…or not. Then I spend time dreaming about what I want the next year to look like.  When I have that picture, I write down goals to get what I desire. Many times, it’s just revamping or re-dating those goals I didn’t quite accomplish. Sometimes, I see a whole new vision within my purpose.

Join me in imagining your 2023 and executing a plan to get closer to the life for which you yearn. My whole desire in writing these emails is to help us develop our leadership ability, especially leadership of self.  I am delightfully amazed at how something so simple has transformed my life and relationships, and I can see that for you, too.  AND I truly desire for you to be able to accomplish ALL of your dreams and goals.

This plan I am giving you is not going to be difficult. It’s meant to get you started.  

Step 1—Get away by yourself. After you’ve turned off your cell phone and your technology notification beeps, close your eyes. Really think about what you want your life to look like? Who do you want to become? What do you want your relationships to look like? How much money do you want to make? How is your health?  Could that use improvement?  If you could not fail, what would you attempt?  What does your spiritual life look like? These are just a few questions to get your own brain thinking.

Step 2—Write down a simple sentence or affirmation describing the picture in your head of the aspirations that you have decided upon. One of my affirmations is “Loving, patient, creative, persistent and gentle are the qualities that describe me.” (okay, stop laughing. I said to imagine who you want to become:)  Write them in the present tense, like you have already achieved them. Your brain is a goal-seeking mechanism—it wants to do what you tell it.

Step 3—Attach a date to your potential achievement of that goal. When do you want to achieve millionaire status?  When do you want to pay of that credit card?  When do you want to be 10 pounds lighter? It is difficult to put a date on becoming patient or disciplined because “becoming” is a process and unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight. I wish I could tell you differently.

Step 4—Write every one of your affirmations on two 3 X 5 cards. Keep one card by your bed and the other in a place where you will check it in the daytime.  Read them twice a day. I found this to be important for me, especially in the area of developing personal characteristics. Reading them aloud, reminds me of the direction I am  moving toward. It helps prevent the “Squirrel!” distractions that may take me off of my chosen path onto a squirrel trail.

Step 5—Plan backward from the end goal to break it down into bite-size pieces that are attainable.  For example, if you have a weight loss goal that you want to achieve in 6 months, how much do you need to lose per month? Break that down into daily tasks that are doable.  Do that for each one of your goals.  Put those goals somewhere, in your calendar or in your phone, so you can track them.

Step 6—Just get started. This step includes telling someone you trust that will cheer you on.

TADAH! You did it!  It wasn’t that hard, was it?

Let me inform you of a couple of pitfalls surrounding goal setting that I have experienced. I never have all the answers to this question “how do I get there?”  I decided not to let that stop me.  Just getting started gives me more ideas on how to proceed. 

I had to stop fearing failure—goal setting is a learnable skill. I didn’t jump on a bike the first time and succeed.  Even if I fail, I will be closer to what I want. If I don’t hit a target, I reflect on what caused it, re-set and/or re-define the goal and move forward.  It’s a learning process.

What if I succeed? That used to scare me, too. If we have the idea, if the dream is ours, we are fully resourced to achieve the goal. I don’t believe God gives us a dream or idea that is legal, moral and ethical and then doesn’t give us the ability to achieve it.

Setting a goal is really about changing ourselves for the long-term. Jim Rohn quotes, “The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.” So, go ahead,  show the world who you want to become or what you want to achieve. You are so worthy of whatever it is you desire to have or become.

If you need assistance, I am just an email or phone call away. 

Go for it!

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Certified Leadership Team
 

Follow me on facebook @janbayercdonald for more tips on leading. 

The leadership Law of Reflection says “Experience is not the best teacher; evaluated experience is the best teacher. Reflective thinking is needed to turn experience into insight.” We must consciously set aside time every day to reflect on the day’s experiences and allow the understanding and lessons of those experiences to catch up with us. We only receive lessons from the past when we take time to sit down and reflect on them.

I think it was Einstein who said, “Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.” Since 90% of what we do in life is habitual and we do it without thinking, reflection will help us develop the awareness for why we do it. We can only discover the reason for our habits (good and bad) and our current results if we take time to reflect on them. If we want to get different results, we have to do things differently.

As we look ahead to 2023, here is a process of reflection that I heard on a mentorship call that will help us get better results next year. 

Start with these 3 activities:

1. Ask yourself: What were the top 10 lessons that I learned this year? Think about successes, struggles and positive and negative events.

2. Do a photo review of the year from January to the present. Go through EVERY SINGLE PHOTO on your phone! This will jog your memory to think of more lessons. Be sure to celebrate all wins!! (Going through my photos was the most fun!) 

3. Review EVERY SINGLE DAY of your calendar from January to December and look for people, places or events and consider color coding them:

*Green – these events, places or people inspired, uplifted & motivated you (going forward you want to stack your calendar with these.)

*Yellow – neutral

*Red – Negativity happened – you do not want to habitually spend time with people or at events that drain you or have a negative impact. 

Ask yourself these questions when reflecting on your calendar: 

– What places did you go to this year?
– Which places did you love and what wins can I celebrate?
– Which places did you dislike (or even hate?)
– Where did you experience good energy, vibes & people?

As you go through the steps above, think about:
– the lessons you learned
– the things that made you cry
– the things that gave you exceeding joy

This  may take some time, but it will certainly give you insight into what you desire for next year and help you weed out some events, people or places that didn’t add value to your life.  

You will learn lessons from 2022 that you won’t have to repeat in 2023 because you took the time to grab insight from those lessons! 

Holiday blessings to you,

Jan 

Jan McDonald 
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

To subscribe, here is the link
https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email/
 
www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/janmcdonald
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janmmcdonald

What does gratitude have to do with leadership? Think about it. Have you ever worked for a boss that wasn’t grateful for your contributions you made to your company? How did that make you feel?

Studies have shown that companies that “excel at employee recognition” are 12 times more likely to enjoy strong business results. Leaders who are grateful for and acknowledge employee contributions create a culture of gratefulness that trickles down through the whole organization.

Inc.’s Geoffrey James wrote “If you’re not exercising this emotional muscle, you’re probably setting yourself up for failure. I’m utterly convinced that the key to lifelong success is the regular exercise of a single emotional muscle: gratitude.” Research from the Harvard Business Review draws the same conclusions: appreciation matters.

While googling articles on gratitude, here are a few of the many benefits that I found about having an attitude of gratitude:

• Improves physiological and emotional health
• Opens the door to more relationships AND creates trust in relationships
• Improves self-esteem and increases mental strength
• Reduces pessimism and aggression

Try being grumpy and grateful at the same time. Personally, I have found that being grateful, even during hard times, makes those hard times “seem” easier to travel through.

This suggestion came from an article in Forbes. “A five-minute a day gratitude journal can increase your long-term well-being by more than 10 percent. That’s the same impact as doubling your income!” WOW!

Sometimes, it is just the simple things. Last Thursday, when I looked at my weather app and it said 31 degrees, I was instantly grateful for fleece-lined tights. It’s cold when I walk Truffle at 6:00 am. As I watched my neighbor scrape the frost off of his windshield, I was grateful for my garage!

 I’m grateful for my faith, family and my home. I love what I do and I appreciate my life bigtime. 

Being grateful not only benefits me, but it has a positive influence on those around me. AND leadership is influence.

How about you? I hope you take some time today to list those things that you are grateful for. 

Gratefully typed,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
 

For a friend to subscribe, here is the link

https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email

I turned the key in my ignition to go to the gym this morning and immediately heard Christmas music. I changed the radio channel a few times and those happy, jolly, holiday tunes were everywhere. My old reaction of being irritated popped up and I changed the channel to talk radio. Oh geesh, that was worse. 

Rather than plug in my playlist, I decided to process my reaction, because I thought I had dealt with that negative reaction already.  The holidays become emotionally charged after my divorce in 1986. I would get the kids half the holiday and then they would go with their dad the other half. He lived in California and I lived in Medford, Oregon. That meant putting them on a plane alone or, weather permitting, drive to Redding to make the trade, which was halfway.  It was sad and stressful to say the least. 

Then there was the gift-giving. Every grandparent, parent, biological and step, seemed to want to buy the kids’ love. You could barely walk around the Christmas tree for the gifts. It was so…commercial.  I participated in the “love-buying” because I felt guilty.

Then I remembered I wasn’t that person anymore. I had changed and was no longer a “holiday hater.”

I changed my thinking some time ago, because I learned that The Reason for the season is not about presents, me, Christmas trees and decorations. The season is about the Greatest Gift of all, Jesus, the God who came to earth as a baby. He gave up his deity so He could have a relationship with us. Christmas doesn’t revolve around me, darn it, it’s His birthday. 

As I drove to the gym in silence, I thought of my friends who are experiencing the holidays this year without a loved one who has recently passed away. There are those who have recently split from a significant relationship and are alone this year.  I probably can’t count those who are like I was and have to share their kids with others.  Oh, and there are those who can’t afford Christmas this year because of inflation or lack of a job. 

Yes, I am too blessed to be whining. AND the choice is mine. I can whine about the holidays or I can choose joy.

Remember, where your focus goes, there your energy flows. AND what we resist, persists, and even grows. The choice is ours. 

My tips for happiness in this holiday season:

1. Allow yourself to feel and accept your feelings. 
2. Decide to think grateful thoughts.
3. Share that joy by reaching out to others.
4. Go on a hike and enjoy God’s beautiful creation.
5. Invite those who are alone over for coffee, pie, dinner, a movie, etc.
6. This is my favorite–ask Jesus to “catch your heart” and give those difficult emotions to Him. 

I know this isn’t always easy because my old reactions pop up from within sometimes, too. Since our reactions are learned behavior, we can unlearn and learn other responses in their place. I love that about life. I don’t have to stay the same–I can change and become that person that I dream about. 

If you need someone to chat with, I’m just an email away!

Holiday blessings to you,

Jan 

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team 
 

For a friend to subscribe, here is the link
https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email/
 
www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/janmcdonald
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janmmcdonald