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Your Path to Breakthroughs: Insights from Jan McDonald

From hopeless drunk to 30 years sober and helping hundreds of individuals and organizations unlock their ‘and then some’, I distill all the lessons gained from those transformational life experiences and share them with you in this space.

I invite you to explore these insights as way to help you breakthrough the challenges that are stopping you from becoming who you want to be.

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Inheritance or Legacy

"An inheritance is what you leave with people. A legacy is what you leave within them."

--Craig D. Lounsbrough

Last week, I wrote about being in funk and how to funk-defy.  It’s here if you missed it https://jan-mcdonald-llc.mykajabi.com/blog/in-a-funk-here-s-how-to-fight-it.  I am amazed at the roller coaster of emotions that have characterized these last six months. Sometimes it feels like the lift to the top of the ride takes forever. To get my attitude up there takes serious effort, only to crash to the bottom in a flash with yet another disappointment, yet another funk. 

Aren’t we there yet? When is this going to be over?  Right now, I just want to lay down on the floor and throw a massive tantrum. This quarantine is lonely, isolating and I’m weary of Zoom, Go-To-Meeting and Face time. I want to see everyone’s smiles, and I need hugs. I want an NFL game that is not politicized and a baseball game with fans. AND if one more person tells me my age group is at risk, rolling my eyes won’t be the only response that I give. 

Complaining and whining isn’t going to make anything better.  I decided to switch to long range thinking, because this quarantine will not last forever.  Six months is nothing in light of eternity.  That’s temporary, like an inheritance. We’re not going to take anything with us when we pass away. It all stays here. We can leave an inheritance for someone, which will bring temporary happiness. When it’s spent, it’s gone.

Leaders are not consumed with the temporary; leaders need to have a vision that outlives them. An integrous leader lives their lives by their values and those remain the same. Integrity, faith, persistence, family, courage, love and ________________you fill in that blank, can be modeled and left in others to imitate. (Remember, people do what people see.) AND that can be permanently transforming in someone else, like a legacy.  Our lives and deeds can live on in others long after we die. 

A legacy is long lasting and if you’re a person of faith, it can be eternal.  When I started to think in those terms, I could dry my eyes and get up off the floor. 

Soon, hopefully, this quarantine will be over. Life may be different, but our values haven’t changed.  That is a happy thought for me. Yes, we can be on an emotional roller coaster…temporarily. The ride will end and we’ll be stronger for it. Now more than ever, it is critical to live in line with what we value. Clarity in what we value can be a guiding light not only in tough times, but when times are normal.  Living out our values can be the difference between leaving an inheritance or a legacy for those we influence. 

Thinking long term, 

Jan 

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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In A Funk? Here’s How To Fight It!

"There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path, don't allow yourself to become one of them."

--Ralph Marston

If it weren’t for some workshops and classes that I’m preparing for, I might not even know what day it is. “Oh yeah, it’s Blursday,” is what I’ve heard others say. I had a conversation with someone today who found himself in a funk. “I’m not gonna lie, this quarantine has been tough,” he said quietly as his eyes filled with tears. I’m with you, Buddy. 

I know exactly how he felt, because I found myself in a funk about a month ago.  Halfway through the year, and I was nowhere closer to the goals that I set for myself in January.  The  gym was still not open. I’m a hugger and hardly anyone wanted to hug. My Fourth of July trip to visit my kids was cancelled. Yes, I was in a funk.  Actually, that is a nice way of saying that I was feeling sorry for myself.  I didn’t feel like doing anything about it. either. I wanted to wallow. The funk became my own difficult obstacle to a joyful attitude. 

I am going to give you some solutions to survive a funk, but first I want to share with you ways not to shovel yourself in deeper:
 
1. Don’t watch the news for extended periods of time.  Between the riots and the election cycle, I felt helpless to change anything and that made me feel hopeless. Don’t get me wrong, I do keep up with news, but in short spurts and mostly online.

2. Don’t go looking at other people’s Facebook pages. I found myself looking at everyone’s smiling faces, romantic get-aways and the accomplishments of those that are where I would like to be. I compared myself to others and found myself smack in the middle of feelings of lack and envy.


Blend hopeless, helpless, lack and envy together and I was drinking a dark cocktail of funk, WHAAAAAATTTT? What was I doing? This was not normal for me. 


I decided that I not only needed to change my state of being, but it was what I really desired. Period. I might not be able to go on vacation and get away from it all,  but I could change my attitude right where I was.  Here are some things that worked for me:

1. I practiced gratefulness. Truffle and I ventured out into the breezy, cool morning to take a walk.  Most of the time, just watching Truffle makes me smile. I became grateful for the fact that  I am really healthy, as is my family. I love where I live.  I have a loving husband, family and friends. I am grateful to have the opportunity to add value to others through leadership training and coaching.  I consider my faith to be a priceless gift.

Gratefulness kind of permeated my being and opened the door for a bit of joy to enter in. When I got back to the house, I looked at my own personal Facebook page. I decided to compare myself to me–how much I have grown, my accomplishments for this last year and the fact that I am a better version of myself than before. The memories, the pictures and even the small wins made me glad.

2. I read a good book. I read a book about my passions because I knew I could lose myself there for awhile. For me, those passions right now are leadership and communication skills. The impact of honing leadership skills is life-expanding and communicating better is definitely a goal of mine.

3. I ate ice cream–I always serve my ice cream in a little cake cup cone because it takes longer to eat and I can’t fit so much ice cream in one of those. When I get to the very bottom of the cake cone, Truffle can have a bite of that, because dogs can’t have chocolate. Ice cream always makes me feel better.

4. I listened to great music–Listening to music (Motown) has helped tremendously. I have a couple of songs that really drive me, make me feel good, and make me feel like dancing. I’ll listen to those and dance right there in my office. The endorphins (chemicals produced by the brain) from exercise make us feel sooooo good.  You know songs that bring to mind a great time or memory, too. 

Needless to say, I am out of the funk. My circumstances haven’t changed, but I changed my mental environment and made my life more enjoyable. Wayne Dyer quotes, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” That is certainly what happened to me.

I hope this helps you. If you have some other funk-defying methods, I would sure love to hear them. Make it a great week.
 

Gratefully typed, 

Jan 

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Border Bullies Keep You In Your Comfort Zone

"Whenever you set out to journey the Road Less Traveled--there will always be Border Bullies."

--Bruce Wilkinson

In my Chosen workshop, I teach about those scary Border Bullies. In Bruce Wilkinson’s book, “The Dream Giver”, he urges us to let go of the familiar, the “nay-sayers”, and even our own limiting beliefs, to enter the land of our full potential. The Border Bullies stand at the edge of our comfort zone and try to keep us in there. We often perceive that those Bullies come at us with fangs and claws and have the ability to inflict real damage. 

Stepping outside of our comfort zone is uncomfortable most of the time. This is because our subconscious mind is very loyal and committed to keeping our lives easy. That is why when we attempt something new it may make us anxious, or even nauseous.  It is out of the routine that the subconscious has practiced for us already.

I remember the first time I tried to ride a bike. I didn’t  have the balance or the skill. Very timidly, I hopped on and off. I was too scared to even go a little fast.

I can remember fearfully telling my brother,  “No, don’t push me too fast!! What if I fall?” 

My brother got tired of my whining, told me I would never be able to learn to ride, and left me in the driveway all by myself.

I don’t remember how many tries it took me to teach myself. But I do remember the fear (the Border Bullies) of falling and scraping my hands and knees. I felt the doubt created by my brother’s words.  As I watched the older kids riding their bikes down the street, with the wind blowing through their hair, my desire for that same result overpowered my skinned hands and knees. Wonder of wonders, I found out if I started out faster, it was easier!! I kept trying and my persistence and speed won out!  I did it! 

Now, of course, I can ride a bike anytime I want without fear.  My subconscious has stored bike-riding ability somewhere in the files of my mind.

What do Border Bullies have to do with personal/professional growth? Our thinking needs to change to experience growth to reach our full potential.  I’m sure we all are a bit afraid to fail. Heaven forbid, that we should look stupid. What if I can’t succeed at whatever it is I desire? What are some of the Bullies that may be holding you back? AND how can we defeat them?

This picture is of a Hornet Jet breaking the sound barrier.  For many years,  flight experts knew that cannons and missiles could go faster than the speed of sound. But could man in a jet pass through that invisible barrier?  Every time a pilot got close to the speed of sound, the plane would vibrate and shake and feel like it was going to break apart.  The pilot would dump the fuel, let off the gas and abort the attempt.

Chuck Yeager had a different idea in 1947. He jumped in the jet and as he got close to that Mach speed that he needed, the jet began to viciously rattle and shake.  He looked through the windows and watched the wings chatter. AND HE SHOVED THE THROTTLE FORWARD!!! This acceleration blasted him through the sound barrier!   Check out the link below.

Put the pedal to the metal and keep moving forward. Border Bullies are unable to withstand persistence or speed. Watch for them, though, they’ll come back if you stop growing.

Accelerating with gusto!

Jan McDonald
John Maxwell Team

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When I Got Done Whining….

"I made the decision to make the absolute best of the quarantine...instead of staying in limbo, I chose to move forward."

--Jan McDonald

When I got done with my temper tantrum because of COVID, I decided to make the best of it. Granted, my tantrum took about two weeks to process because I don’t do well when things are out of my control.  I decided to achieve a goal that I had back-burnered and then to pull out some older classes and refresh myself on the teachings. 

I reached the goal of finishing the biblical teachings for a class on my book, “Fruitful Leadership; Leading By The Fruit of the Spirit.” (If biblical study isn’t for you, scroll down to As A Man Thinketh.) I created a six week class, Chosen, and ran the beta test in June/July.  This class is all about learning that we are chosen by God before the foundation of the universe, and He has a purpose for each one of us. Since our specific purpose always involves relationships, manifesting the fruit of The Spirit makes all of our relationships and our lives better.

I can’t think of better characteristics to model for others than love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness and self-control.

The results? Here is what Ruth said, “I never knew that I had the ability to take every thought captive and you gave me strategies to do that so I can change my results by changing my thinking.”

Here is what Lavonne said, “The Chosen classed transformed me. It touched my heart and soul. The class showed me what God has been trying to show me for years. I was able to see how God really feels about me. God showed me how to get beyond my past mistakes. I am so looking forward to this new path I will be walking with God and the freedom I now feel. Thank you Jan for being Gods messenger to me.”

Cassie learned a lot, too, “I knew the fruits of the spirit, and honestly I thought that I had them down pretty well. But through the course of the study I realized that there was more to each fruit and I had been missing the depth! I had a huge blind spot that was revealed, and in that place the Lord has been able to do some healing through Jan‘s words and advice, and this course. I was sad to finish the study, and I think I could take it many more times and get something new out of it each time!”   

Join us (yes, there are already people registered!) in this next  six-week Chosen Zoom workshop which starts Thursday, August 27th at 1:00 pm. Details are here: 

https://jan-mcdonald-llc.mykajabi.com/chosen

The quarantine pushed me back into one book that helped me change my thinking so I could get sober years ago. AND this last March, some of my thinking needed to be changed. “As A Man Thinketh“ teaches us to be able to successfully direct our thoughts, which drive our actions, which drive our behaviors, which drive our results.

In other words; the way we think drives our LIVES. I know you’re someone that appreciates just how critical this is.

I can’t impress upon you enough how important learning how to THINK differently has been for me. The book, “As A Man Thinketh” has been absolutely essential in my personal and business development (…and don’t even get me started on how often it’s dismissed as a business tool!).  Need some change? This class will help you “take the helm of thought” and move you toward better results in your life. 

Join us in this As A Man Thinketh Zoom workshop which starts Wednesday, August 26th, for six weeks at 6:30 pm. More details are here:

https://jan-mcdonald-llc.mykajabi.com/aamt

That’s what I’ve been up to since I stopped whining. What have you been up to? These are some challenging times. Either of these two classes would be life-changing for you. AND you would be part of a community of people that are uplifting and motivating–totally needed for such a time as this.

Hope to see you in one…or both of these!

Excitedly typed, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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The Music Is In You!

How do you want to be remembered? Do you want your life to make a difference? Or are you content with status quo?

Life has been so different since March, to say the least.  Not much is certain and there are so many unknowns. I’ve had to learn so many new ways to live and do business. I’m sure you are in the same boat, too. There are days that I just don’t want to venture out of my comfort zone one more time. Can’t I just have a week or two of average? If I’m not careful, I can stay there for awhile.

But is that how I want to be remembered?  As average? Do I want to be described as ordinary?   Do I just want to “get through” this trying time, or do I want to thrive?  Do I want to put my purpose of “bringing out the best in you…and then some” on the back burner until the lock-down is over? 
 

OR do I want to continue to grow into my greatness?
The choice is mine. 


Paganini, the great violinist, came out to his audience one day and made the discovery just before they ended their welcoming applause that something was wrong with his violin. He looked at it and saw that it was not his famous and valuable one.

He was paralyzed for a second and told his audience that he somehow picked up the wrong violin. He went back behind the curtain quickly, thinking that his precious violin was right where he left it. He discovered that someone had stolen his and left that second-hand one in it’s place! He stood there for a moment, then came out before his audience and said:

“Ladies and gentlemen: I will show you that the music is not in the instrument, but in the soul.”  Paganini played as he had never played before, giving it more than he thought he could; and out of that second-hand, average instrument came the most amazing music. The audience was thrilled with enthusiasm and the applause almost lifted the ceiling off of the auditorium.  He revealed to the audience that the music was not in the instrument but in the soul of the man that played it.

What music is in our souls that we are not revealing to the outside world? Where are we playing average in our lives?  What if we stepped out onto the stage of life and gave it everything we had? What if we used our talents and gifts to our fullest capabilities and held nothing back? What if we overrode the voices of fear, doubt and procrastination? Not only would the applause be thunderous, but our enthusiasm for life, our music, would spill out onto others in the form of hope. Seeds of courage and expectation might just be planted in others that could shower them with right nutrients and light to let their soul sing, as well. Not only would we expand ourselves, but those we influence. 

There is so much potential in each one of us. As Thomas Edison once said, “If we did all the things we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.”  

Can you hear it? Are you able to discern that music deep within that is clawing to get out and show itself to the world? Oh…it’s there. The seeds of greatness are within you. Keep feeding and nourishing that greatness, yes, even during these weird and trying times, and it will grow, because that’s what it’s been created to do.

Feeding my soul,

Jan


Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
 

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Yesterday Ended Last Night

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present."

--Bill Keane

I was looking through some notes from a prior Maxwell International Certification Event in Orlando. John Maxwell did a teaching from  “Today Matters,”  a book that he wrote some time ago.  I thought I would share some of my notes from this teaching  with you.

So many of us over-exaggerate yesterday, overestimate tomorrow and underestimate today. Wow. Think on that statement for awhile.  We think too much about what we could have or should have done. We worry too much about what might happen, or not, tomorrow.  AND statistically, 99% of the stuff that we worry about never comes to pass.  This kind of thinking can put a damper on our today.

Here’s what John knows about yesterday:

1. Yesterday influences today. We are today where our thoughts have brought us. Our yesterday’s thoughts caused our actions today.  How many times has the same trigger caused us to re-act in the same way we’ve always reacted?  If we always do what we’ve always done, we’re always going to get what we’ve always gotten. 

2. We can learn from yesterday.  Successful people learn from yesterday. Unsuccessful people yearn for yesterday.  Negative things from yesterday can be our best teachers. Don’t count your losses, count your lessons.  We can become aware of what triggers our re-actions and learn to respond differently.

3.  Yesterday ended last night.  We can’t do anything different about what we did yesterday, so we need to let it go.  So many people have row-boat mentality–they move forward while looking backward. Successful people forget about yesterday and keep their eye on the finish line. 

Don’t lose today by replaying yesterday or worrying about tomorrow.  Hopefully, we have learned from yesterday and can move forward.  It’s so awesome that we can start over today if we don’t like our yesterday. Every day is a do-over.  We can chalk our yesterday up to experience–or lack thereof–and enjoy today!  Today,  we can set up the tomorrow that we want.

This teaching gave me some thoughts to ponder. I don’t need to be the person that I was yesterday. I don’t need to re-act in those ways that don’t serve me.  And THAT makes it so I can enjoy today and have a better tomorrow.  What about your yesterday can you let go of so you can enjoy today and set up a better tomorrow?

Making today matter,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
 

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Put The People First!

"No leader can ever achieve anything great or long-lasting all alone. Teamwork goes hand in hand with leadership. Leadership is about people-and for people."

--John C. Maxwell

Leadership is all about people…especially in times of crisis.  Understand this one fact. We need to focus on our people if we want to lead well. In leading any organization, the focus should be 95% people and 5% organization. People are an organizations most important asset. We need to protect our assets. A leader’s most important asset is people skills.

As a task-oriented person, where empathy is at the bottom of my strengths, I am reminded daily of my need to continually work on my people skills. When someone has a challenge or is suffering emotionally, my thoughts used to be, “get over it,”  “why wallow in your pain?  Rip the band-aid off and get on with your life.”  From experience, I can tell you that this attitude doesn’t work in the organization that I lead, and it definitely doesn’t work at home.

If we are not a people person, we need to become one, or this is going to be a limiting factor in our lives. Lacking people skills will become a lid on our leadership. If we can get the people aspect of leadership right we can lead in almost any environment.

We can have great people skills and not be a good leader, but we can’t be a good leader without people skills. We will not sustain our leadership without good people skills.

My mentor and John Maxwell’s right-hand man, Mark Cole, shared these three traits of an relational leader in a teaching:

1. The leader has head knowledge and understands people. Understanding people will help us know how to inspire and motivate those we lead. One way to achieve this knowledge and understanding is to take the time to ask questions and genuinely listen to our people.

2. The leader  has a heart for people. We need to inspire, serve, care about, and care for people. People need appreciation, recognition, personal caring and the tools to get their job done with excellence. I learned to practice “walking around the room slowly” as CEO.  I would take the time to come out of my office daily and go and visit each person working with me daily.  At first, they thought they were in trouble…I hate to even write that out loud. That habit made all of our relationships closer and I believe it deepened their trust in me.

3. The leader has the ability to help people. True leadership is about developing and investing in your people. When we invest, develop and empower our people, it makes the whole organization better. Relationships strengthen, teams collaborate better, and people develop confidence in their abilities to achieve more.

What are we doing to develop our people skills? What are we doing to develop ourselves?  If you need some ideas, let me know!

Still working on this!

Jan

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


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Get The Ball!

“Where you focus goes, there your energy flows."

--Tony Robbins

I was reading about Solomon in the Bible book of Ecclesiastes.  He was one of the wealthiest kings in ancient times and he was considered brilliant intellectually. Solomon could buy anything he wanted. He was world famous for his success and threw great parties. Legend says that he was handsome and he acquired 700 wives. He had to have tremendous energy for that alone. Solomon was powerful and famous, yet none of his “stuff” satisfied him.  His writings tell us that he viewed all of his worldly acquisitions and accomplishments as “vanity and chasing after the wind.”

His name means peace, yet he had none of it as his energy flowed toward goals that had nothing to do with his purpose of  leading his country well.  Solomon lacked focus and felt scattered. That old quote is still true, “If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.” Rather than focus on his purpose, he allowed his heart to  drift. He got distracted. At some point, Solomon got sick and tired of the busyness and the chase.  He slowed down enough to refocus. It took the whole book of Ecclesiastes and a long time,  but Solomon’s reflection brought him back to His Creator’s purpose and mission for his life.  That is what really mattered in his life.

I found that I spent most of quarantine chasing after the wind. I was reminded of a t-ball game where the little girl in the outfield was chasing the butterfly rather than the ball. The butterfly was so pretty. “GET THE BALL!” screamed her coaches and her teammates. That brought her back to reality.

How about you? Were you chasing butterflies, like me, these last months?  Did you say “yes” to commitments that involve other’s goals and dreams rather than yours?  What is left on your “to-do” list that you promised yourself you were going to finish? Did you handle that tough conversation or improve your part in that important relationship? What else did you procrastinate?

GET THE BALL!

Stop. Breathe. Get quiet and think. Six months of this year is gone and before we know, it will be December and we’ll be in the same place then as we are now. Refocus. What do we want to accomplish? Who do we want to become?  Let’s stop chasing the wind and move our energy in the direction of our purpose or calling. For me, just advancing in the direction of my goals and purpose seems to eliminate distractions.  Yes, I know this has been a difficult time, but we can’t let it distract and paralyze us. 

What is one step that you can take in the direction of your dreams and desires. Go ahead, take that one. It will position you to take the second one…and so on. You can do it!

I really wrote this for me…and it made me think and refocus. Thank you for listening. Let me know if it helped you, too.

Watching for the ball,

 Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
 

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Discipline? Or Anticipation? A New Perspective

"In reading the lives of great men, I have found that the first victory they won was over themselves...self-discipline with all of them came first."

--President Harry Truman

 Before you delete this email, stay with me for a moment. Discipline is such an ugly word isn’t it? There aren’t very many sweet connotations that come with that word. In the Greek, it means to “get a grip on oneself.”  That’s true,  because the hardest person that I ever have to lead is me.  There’s great value and return by being disciplined.

I want to challenge you today to look at discipline differently. How about we look at anticipation rather than discipline. This is not my idea. I heard this concept on a mentoring call and I thought it revolutionary. There’s a big difference in getting up early not because of discipline, but because of anticipation. Thinking of it in those terms is a game changer. It’s a different mindset to arise in the morning anticipating what can be, rather than disciplining myself so I can be successful. Are we anticipating what can happen because we’re disciplined, or are we disciplined because of what we want to happen?  It’s an ever so slight change, but small actions create great change. 

I went to a networking group some months ago and two gentlemen shared at different times why they became business owners. One gentleman wanted the flexibility to be able to spend time with his wife and children. The other was creating income because his passion was pouring his life into the youth in his community. These goals are what got these gentlemen up in the morning. Their excitement was contagious when they shared these inner desires. 

I found this to be true in January 2018,  when I knew I was going to transition out of my job and into my own business of helping individuals and businesses reach their full potential. The need to set my alarm clock for 5:00 am disappeared. I began to wake up close to that time every morning anticipating the impact that I was going to  have by helping businesses and individuals realize their full potential. 
 

                        How do we develop an attitude of anticipation?


I believe we need to remind ourselves why we are doing what we are doing? Are we working so hard for someone else’s dream? I think not. We are working so hard so we can have the life we desire.

When we are tempted to say those hurtful words, anticipate what the relationship will be like in the future if we don’t. Do we really need to be right?  When we don’t feel like working out, think about how much fun it will be to have the energy to play with your grand-kids, or just live a fuller life.  Every time we make the choice to take steps in the direction of our goals, we get stronger.  We develop better habits. We also find it’s not so hard to make that choice the next time. 

What is your particular struggle?  Get excited about who you will become and what you will be able to do and have by moving forward. 

By thinking long term, anticipating what we will gain from moving toward our goals and dreams, discipline doesn’t sound so bad after all. 

Typed with anticipation, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team


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The Law of The Picture–people do what people see.

The first person you learn to lead is you! You earn the right to lead others when they see you lead your own life well.

Follow the leader is a children’s game. First a leader or “head of the line” is chosen, then the children all line up behind the leader. The leader then moves around and all the children have to mimic the leader’s actions. Any players who fail to follow or do what the leader does are out of the game.

I played that game as a child, but poor eye-hand coordination had me out of the game fairly quickly. As a leader today, eye-hand coordination has nothing to do with the Law of the Picture.

Good leaders need to understand they are creating a visual picture for their followers with their actions.  They must be conscious of the fact that they are modeling behavior and that others are going to do for better or for worse. In general, the better the leader’s actions, the better their people’s. The greatest gift a leader can give is being a good example.

Educators tell us that 89% of learning is visual. Most people need to see a demonstration or example before they understand how to perform a task. This makes sense to me–especially with technology. Even when learning how to use this “user friendly” (really?) Mail Chimp way of sending emails, I had to have someone give me hands on instructions so I could do it. I read the instructions at length and could not figure it out. After I was shown how–it became fairly easy!

Colin Powell once said, “You can issue all the memos and give all the motivational speeches you want, but if the rest of the people in our organization don’t see you putting forth your very best effort every single day, they won’t either.”

This means that the very first person I need to lead is me. The first person that I need to change is me. Sometimes, I just don’t enjoy that the buck stops with me. If someone on my team is not performing, I can usually look back to standards I was lax on, didn’t enforce, or set a lazy example myself. Ouch

The good news is that I can become the leader that my organization needs. I can continue to hone my leadership skills by growing personally.  I can practice the law of awareness by continuing to evaluate the example that I set for others. Do my words match my actions? How is my own performance? Am I willing to do what I ask others to do?

Oh My Goodness, my growth and behavior is the one thing I can fix and can CONTROL…and that makes me happy.

Go and grow!

Jan

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


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5 Steps That Help Deal With Disappointment

"Sometimes when you get disappointment, it makes you stronger."

--David Rudisha

I was supposed to be on an airplane today (last Thursday) to California to spend the 4th of July with my adult children. It is a tradition that we started about 5 years ago.  Thank you, Corona Virus, for yet one more disappointment. The current spike in Corona cases and the reclosing of parts of California caused both of my kids to be concerned enough for me to cancel my trip. I am extremely disappointed that I’m not going to get to see them and I understand their fears–even though I don’t have those same fears. 

While sharing this with my Chosen participants, an online class I am teaching, everyone empathized and shared their Corona disappointments. There were many. I thought to myself, “Hmmmm…maybe dealing with disappointment is a great topic for an email.” 

When looking for quotes about disappointment, I stumbled on the above one by David Rudisha.  I got a little judgmental when I read it, because I’m not fond of hard circumstances that make me stronger. (Geesh, did I really admit that?) I thought that David was probably some motivational speaker with an eternal positive attitude, but no.  David is the world  record holder in the 800 meter dash and gold medal Olympian!  He hadn’t competed for 18 months (and this was written about him in October 2019,) due to a misdiagnosed injury, a major car crash that could have killed him, and personal issues including his father’s death and the breakdown of his marriage. 

His name means “to return” in Swahili and that is exactly what he planned to do; return in style and win a third Olympic gold medal at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. Now those have been cancelled.  David knows disappointment and his take away? “I know it’s not easy, nothing is guaranteed, but I’m just doing my best and want to give my best.”

How do we give our best during disappointment? 

1.  Accept it. Disappointments happen to everyone. We need to realize that we are not alone. The disappointment is past, we can’t change it or influence it. It’s in the past. 

2. Don’t run from the feeling. Go ahead, wallow for a bit. Identify the emotion surrounding the disappointment and feel it.  John Maxwell gives himself 24 hours to feel the pain of failure. After that, he picks himself up and dusts himself off and moves forward. 

3.  Look for the good in it.  One of my mentors says, “The curriculum for our growth is always right in front of us.”  What can we learn? How can we grow?  Einstein tells us that in the midst of crisis, there lies opportunity.

4.  Watch our self-talk.  Instead of talking to yourself like you are the disappointment, realize that disappointment is an event that happened to you. You are not the disappointment.  You can handle it! You can solve the challenge! You are fully resourced from within.

5. Hike. I found that I can’t do a beast of a hike and cry at the same time. Crying blurs the safe places on which to put my feet. AND the hard hike gave me time to feel the pain, process the feelings and decide to be okay with the disappointment. The world wasn’t going to end because I couldn’t go after all. The endorphins (brain peptides that make us feel good) created  during the exercise helped, too. 

“Mom, I’m bummed, too. Fourth of July is my favorite holiday,”  my son was disappointed, too. “Maybe we could plan to drive and meet each other halfway. Yes, let me get to work on that.”  Yes, Let’s do that.  I feel better already. 

We’re human and are going to be faced with people and events that let us down. It’s how we respond to these disappointments that determine their impact on us, our success in life and those around us.  I hope these steps help you. If you have found other ways to  give your best and be strengthened in disappointing times, let me know so I can share with others. 

Getting stronger, 

Jan

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


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5 Things To Do Daily For Success

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot."

--Michael Altshuler

If we want to design our life and live it according to our calling and our own personal dreams and desires, we need strategies. Good strategies take into account your top priorities. If we don’t prioritize those things that are most important, the urgent will get in the way of what is important. I know if I don’t have a list of the most important items that I want to accomplish on any given day, my time gets frittered away by the unimportant. 

Here’s a question for you?  As you look ahead to the next 6 months, what is a primary area in your life or work that you would like to experience growth in? How are you going to make sure that happens?

John Maxwell has a strategy called the Rule of 5.  It is a list of five things that you do on a daily basis that moves you closer to your goal.  Let me illustrate the principle behind this rule: 

I have a tree that I want to chop down in my back yard. I also have a million other things to do as well as chop down the tree. One way to get that done is just go out and chop at that tree everyday just 5 times. In time, you will drop that tree. It doesn’t matter what the size of the tree is—a larger tree will take more time than a smaller tree.  This is the power of compounding. That which you do daily is what you get done. A few things done right everyday, is better than a lot of things done right every day.   
 

The point is to study the few activities you do that generate most of the results and gain an understanding of what the build-up activities are which lead to those results. Then plan each day around those daily disciplines.


Whether you are creating a Rule of 5 for your organization or yourself, the following few tips will help you get started.

1.  Write down your main goal. This will be your guiding light as you create your Rule of 5. Your Rule of 5 are the steps you must take in order to achieve your goal.

2.  Build your “important” list. This can be done in a variety of ways:

a: Make a to-do list for your day. Include everything that must be done that day, as well as items you aim to complete over time.

b: Write down a list of everything you do to be successful. This can range from reading and writing to engaging with team members and building relationships.

3.  Rank the items in order of priority. If various items are similar, you can categorize them to help with the prioritization process.

4.  Highlight the top 20 percent of your priorities and make a memorable list of 5 things that allows you to allocate the majority of your time to those things.

5.  Print your Rule of 5 and hang it where it is frequently seen.
 

Repetition is key.


After completing these 5 steps, confidently live out your Rule of 5 every day… even on weekends, and even when you’re busy.  That is how you make sure you grow in the area that you desire.  Gandhi said, “If we don’t prioritize our life, somebody else will.”  I have certainly found that to be true.

Chopping away,

Jan

Jan McDonald 
The John Maxwell Team


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When We Don’t Have All The Answers

"Nothing will cause more anxiety than trying to control that which we can't."

--John Maxwell

I have facilitated Leading Through Crisis a number of times, but last night the above quote stood out to me more than ever.  When we sold our home in Grandview  mid-July of last year, we had the hardest time finding a home in Tri-Cities that we liked, in the price range that we desired. We had looked at 46 homes by the first week in August and none of them were “The One.”  The date for the new owner of our old home to take possession was August 30th.

In Leading Through Crisis, one of the distractions during a crisis is fear of the unknown. I had that going on big-time! What if we don’t find a place? Do we rent? Geesh, I don’t want to move twice. And if we do rent, where?  Do we settle for the home that we already toured that we could live in after massive renovation?  Do we need to go up in price range? I don’t want to be house poor. Do I even want to look in Pasco?  I spent a ton of time looking on Zillow. I swear, I knew the details of almost every home in there.  I tried to work this “crisis” every which way in the my head. My thoughts were like a horse running around and around in a corral. Talk about anxiety!!  

The night before we were going to look at more homes, I finally through up my hands in “Whatever!” mode. I gave it up. The only things I could control were my attitude and to continue looking at homes. The moment I surrendered was the moment my anxiety lessened.  AND…

The very next morning, we found “The One” in Pasco…and we hadn’t even been looking there.


What can we do when we don’t have all the answers?  Here are some things that I learned. These aren’t just my ideas, but ideas from participants in Leading Through Crisis:

1. Surrender the unknown. Let go and accept where you are. As a person of faith, I give it to God–He’s up all night anyway, probably working on my challenge.  No sense in both of us losing sleep. 

2. Focus on what we can control and then take action. Procrastination fuels anxiety, so take the next step, whatever that is…and then celebrate that step forward, no matter how tiny. 

3. Ask more questions. Look at the situation from different angles. Engaging in conversations with others can give different perspectives and can help us think outside the box.

4. Write about the situation. I have found that writing challenges down on paper gives me clarity. The emotions surrounding the unknown are clarified, the fears are black and white, and the challenge seems smaller.

5. Focus on the big picture based on what we know.   In my life, things always seem to work out for me. I don’t mean that to sound arrogant, but if I look back on my life, I can see that we have been divinely guided.  I know this…but sometimes I forget. Sometimes the control freak in me comes out of the closet and tries to organize EVERYTHING.

I am sure that you have your ways of thriving when you don’t have all the answers–I hope that you will share them with me. The arsenal  for coping can never be too big in these ever-changing times. 

Still don’t have all the answers,  

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Pump Up Your Willpower

"WHAT TAXES YOUR WILLPOWER? Implementing new behaviors; Filtering distractions; Resisting temptation; Suppressing emotion; Restraining aggression; Suppressing impulses; Taking tests; Trying to impress others; Coping with fear; Doing something you don’t enjoy; Selecting long-term over short-term rewards."

--Gary Keller, from "The ONE Thing"

I was astonished while reading his chapter on willpower from Gary’s book,  “The ONE Thing.” Gary compares willpower like the power bar on our cell phones. Every morning, we start out with a full charge. As the day goes on, every time we use our phones, we use up some of the charge. It’s the same with your willpower. As the day goes on, our resolve shrinks just like our cell phone battery. Every time we use our will, we have less of it to draw on later on in the day. When the charge is gone…so is our willpower.  
 

Willpower is one of those resources that needs
to be managed. Who knew?


But it makes sense. Every day, right around 3:00, I’m done. I can’t hardly make a decision after that time. I just need to leave work and regroup. I find myself closing my laptop, getting a snack, walking my dog, or just doing something brainless for about 30 minutes. If I can carve out that time, I can finish my day with ease. If I miss that time, I welcome any distraction that comes my way and productivity goes out the window.  Many times it leaves me searching for LifeSaver Gummies, or some other sugary snack.

Knowing this information is powerful. Maybe you’ve heard of the Marshmallow Test? Walter Mischel did some research with four-year-old children.  He gave them one marshmallow and told them they would get two if they could wait to eat the one until he came back.  Only three out of ten could delay gratification for 15 minutes to get the two treats. Willpower was in short supply. 

What’s the big deal about this experiment? Over the next 30 years, Mischel followed those who participated in his experiment.  He found out that the “high-delayers”, those who could hold out for two marshmallows, fared better in life. The “low-delayers” were 30 percent more likely to be overweight and suffer higher rates of drug addictions. WOW. Willpower is so important that using it effectively should be a high priority.

“The more we use our mind, the less minding power we have,” Gary writes. He also says that studies show that willpower is a mental muscle that doesn’t bounce back quickly. We assume that thinking doesn’t take many calories, but if our brain were a car, it would be a Hummer. It’s takes a lot of fuel to think.

Gary gives us these steps to put our willpower to work:

1. Don’t spread your willpower to thin. On any given day, we have a limited supply of willpower, so decide what is most important and reserve our willpower for that.
2.  Monitor our fuel gauges. Never let what matters most be compromised because our brains are under fueled.
3.  Time our tasks. Do what matters most first each day when our willpower is strongest.

Don’t fight your willpower, build your day around it. Then we will be able to count on it.

Still surprised!

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Find Your Niche

“Your profession is not what brings home your weekly paycheck, your profession is what you're put here on earth to do, with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.”

--Vincent Van Gogh

As I ended the Zoom call, I raised my arms in victory in my empty office and said out loud, “I was made for this!”  It fills me with joy when I am able to share my experience, strength and hope with others. You all know my background and it’s not pretty. If I can grow and change into someone who can be used to transform the lives of others, anyone can. Really, it’s true. I’m not patting myself on the back here…well, maybe a little…I want everyone to be able to find that sweet spot, their niche.  I want everyone to wake up joyfully because they’re going to work at what they love. Not that there aren’t difficult times, but the good one far outweigh the challenging times. 

 “Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” 
                                                                                                          –Confucius

                                                                                                                                Have you found your niche?  Are you working within your sweet spot? If you are, that’s fabulous and you know what I’m talking about! If you know what your niche is and aren’t working in it, start thinking about your transition. Suspend the need to know how you’re going to do it. What would your life look like if you were working within your niche? If we know our destination, mapping out the plan can be easier.  No matter whether it takes you six months or six years, put a plan together to get there.

If you haven’t found your niche, you need to do some research . What do you do that gives you joy? What were you passionate about as a child, but life got in your way?  What would you do if money were not an object?  What experiences have you had that ignited a fire within?  What makes your heart sing? Who would benefit from you living within your sweet spot besides you? 

Daydream…like you used to when you were a kid.  You might think your ideas are crazy. And they might be, for the you that you you are now. But you can grow into the person who can achieve your wildest dreams. I get excited just thinking about this for you!

Then launch! Whatever it takes! Take that first step in the direction of your future, no matter how small. Your plan doesn’t need to be perfect. You don’t have to have all the details. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re crazy, or that you can’t have what you want. Go for it!

When you find your niche and you begin to move toward it, you’ll be the one with your arms raised in the victory stance telling your spirit within, “I was made for t his!”  And you were.

Excitedly typed,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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Begin With The End In Mind

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

--Oliver Wendall Holmes

Last night, I was chatting with my inner circle of powerful women about what we anticipated was going to transpire when this COVID19 quarantine was over. We all agreed that things were going to be different, but what changes did each of us need to make for us to succeed in the future? This is not just a question for the 6 of us women, but many people are asking themselves the same thing.  For some of us, events occurred  during this time which were considered as definite wake-up calls.

What about you? Have you pondered the changes you may need to make going forward?

There is a concept which comes from Steven Covey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”  In a nutshell, Covey suggests for us to take some quiet time and think deeply about what we would like people to say about us at our funeral. (Yeah…really…who wants to think about that now?) Seriously considering this, will bring us closer to what we really value.  Knowing our values may bring us a different definition of personal success for us. 

How often have we purchased what we thought was the perfect car for us and after seven car payments we realize the car was not a fit for our family? In the past, I hired a couple of people who seemed perfect for the job description, except for one minor flaw. That minor flaw created tension in the workplace and those employees had to be let go.  Or we venture into a relationship that ends up being not at all healthy for us. We all know people who have worked really hard, become successful, yet felt empty after they reached their goals.

If we know what we value and what is important to us, it will be the compass that daily keeps us on track.  If I value honesty, I won’t be tempted to embellish details so I look better. If I value my marriage, I will hold my husband in high esteem.  If I value family, I will not run after my vision at the expense of my relationships with them.  My values will give me a true north. Do I always succeed at trekking true north? I would love to say “yes,” but honesty is a character trait that I value:) My values direct my day.

Knowing what we value and what is really important to us will help us create a vision that will be truly fulfilling. On our journey to achieving our vision, when the bumps and distractions come…and they will…our values will keep us on track with integrity. 

In hopes of fulfilling our unique potential and creating our perfect vision going forward, maybe Covey’s exercise is an action we take. What would we want our loved ones–family, close friends, co-workers and church friends–to say about us at our funeral?  Get into our fat chair or our favorite quiet place and take some time to think into this.  Even if it takes us more than one sitting, discovering inner awareness of our values will tell us what we really want. 

If I can add value or assistance in your discovery, please contact me! 

Pondering, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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