It’s been four years since I transitioned from non-profit leadership to my own business. The “Pass the Torch” ceremony, the celebration of my transition, was a memory on Facebook and started me reminiscing.

In 2014, I noticed a restlessness in my soul and I sensed that God was calling me out of non-profit to some bigger things. I didn’t know what those bigger things might be, and God never gives me the 25-year plan–it’s one step at a time. As a recovering, and sometimes relapsed, control freak, this was very disconcerting.  

As I stumbled my way to our new vision (God’s and mine,) I thought I could maybe stay at the non-profit part-time. I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not, or if they would even let me. 

So I hired a coach and shared all my thoughts with him. At the end of our call,  he said to me, “May I give you some of my thoughts?” Of course, that’s what I’m paying you for.

“Sometimes, when you have poured your life and soul into something for a long time, keeping one foot in hinders you from moving forward into God’s full potential for you,” he shared.  Then he said something like this: 

See, we try keep things the way they are and make this new thing fit. It will not fit into our current puzzle. It is a piece to a completely different puzzle. Put the current puzzle back in the box and create a new one. You’ve changed, Jan, and it’s impossible to change one area of your life without ripples into other areas. Relationships, thinking, habits, who we spend time with, and perceptions, all have changed. You’ve been building a new puzzle from a new vision. 

This new vision is not your idea…you just became aware of it. The vision and calling chose you. It came from God.

There is an unexpressed possibility that wanted to come through you and with you. “Hey, grow!” is being whispered within. It was divinely inspired.

So you need to let go of some things to make the new puzzle pieces fit. Give up to go up. You’re going to have to live in harmony with the Law of Sacrifice. Give up things of a lesser value for things of a higher value. It’s not about trading. It’s about defining what is of highest value and what is lower value. The moment you define those things, the lesser will fall away.

He was so wise. When I hung up the phone with my coach, I knew my next steps:

1. Finish well. My coach was right. I needed to put things in order so that I could leave a legacy–so that my transition all the way out was seamless.

2. I began to focus on what I could control. I created a business plan that would allow me to save extra money for my transition. My vision pulled me forward. 

3. I developed a more intimate relationship with God because He knew my future and the path I would take. I didn’t have a clue…yet. My prayer and listening to Him were deepened.

4. When the time was right for everyone concerned, and I got God approval, I jumped. That was the scary part because I felt like I didn’t have all the pieces to the new puzzle. BUT, I had the box top (my preferred vision,) so I knew what the completed puzzle looked like. 

This is the shortened version of my transition journey. I went from one calling I loved into another. I love my life.

If you want more details or need help transitioning, please call me. I’d love to help you jump!

Loving life, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

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Don’t you just wish life was easier, with less challenges and obstacles? Yeah, me, too…but without challenges, life becomes stagnant and we stop growing. Most of my growth and wisdom is the result of problems. Challenges help us uncover who we are and it allows us to become better people. 

Let’s examine a very simple 4-step method to overcoming challenges.

First, state the problem clearly.  When we are faced with challenges, we tend to avoid the issue and run the other way. We  bury our heads in the sand hoping it goes away.  Or we may say – ok, there is an obstacle. Instead of heading right to it and plowing through, I am going to look for another path even though that is not the way I want to go. That way looks easier… less headache… but rarely does that work out. When we avoid or go out of our way, we cause more headache in the end. It takes more of our time and energy and we don’t get the end result for which we are looking. 

Take some time to understand what your challenge is.  Ask yourself some questions, what is asked of me, what am I supposed to learn, what is the goal on the other side of this problem? Write this down on paper.

Second, identify what you have at your disposal – what resources are available to you to work through this challenge? List all of these resources.  These should include things such as tangible assets – money, computer, books, etc.  And then what skills you have, what are your strengths to work through this?  Don’t forget other people–who do you know that can help you? 

Third, design the strategy to overcome this challenge.  Utilize all your assets to create a plan of action.  You may not get it right the first time. That’s okay. Each time you tweak the strategy, you found a way that didn’t work!  Keep at it. 

Lastly, execute the strategy with effort and determination.  Do your very best with all you have to overcome your challenge. 

If you find that you still cannot overcome a challenge, then re-evaluate. Maybe your strategy won’t work because it isn’t viable or effective.  Change it. If your strategy doesn’t work because you didn’t execute it well enough, be persistent and tweak your efforts, giving it more.  

Practice this method on small challenges and see how easy it is to overcome. Then try it on the big rocks!  

Overcoming, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

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The topic of self-care has come up again recently…and often.  A couple of my coaching clients have been struggling with overwhelm and our Life Group talked about it last week. Many heads nodded “yes” when I asked my networking group if they felt they needed some self-care.

I hiked Badger on Wednesday and about one fourth of the way up, my normal speed (warp) wasn’t cutting it. I couldn’t catch my breath. I slowed my pace and thought about my schedule. My body hadn’t had a day off in a couple weeks. My hobbies of weight-lifting, Pickleball and Badger-hiking had been in high gear. No wonder. Couple that with the other things in my schedule…oops, it’s time to walk my talk.

In about two hours, I am headed out of town for a retreat. There won’t be any cell service or internet. Gulp! There’s no gym, no mountains to climb…just rest, relaxation and other Christian women. There will be time to reflect and just generally let me catch up with me…and my Spirit. I’m so ready. 

If we lead or manage people, we spend all day serving others. Many small business owners and entrepreneurs are striving to keep their businesses running and profitable, as well.  This doesn’t include the children that need nurture and the families that need us. 

My question to you is–when do you care for you?  What is your self-care strategy?  When do you refuel and pour back into you?

How can we give others our best selves when our best selves have already been given out? 

You can’t give what you don’t have. 

We all remember what the airline stewardess tells us to do in case of emergency. If the oxygen masks come down, we need to put the mask on ourselves first.

We need to fill our energy tanks first. Operating from an energy deficiency isn’t healthy and may lead to anxiety, depression, hopelessness and fatigue. 

How can we refuel and refresh ourselves? Here are some ideas for self-care:

• Take a walk–just get out into nature.
• Take a bubble bath (yes, guys can do this, too.)
• Talk with a friend.
• Go on a weekend retreat:)
• What brings you joy? Do that.
• Practice gratitude

I am sure that you can think of other ways that would reinvigorate and fortify you. Personally, my daily, morning quiet time refreshes me, but sometimes, it’s just not enough.   

Right now. Stop. Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths. Relax and think of things/people for whom you are grateful.  Stay there for a couple minutes. Doesn’t that feel good? 

Now  grab your calendar and start scheduling time to pour back into you. Start small–maybe with 5 minutes. Work up to whatever it takes to refuel and give power back to your best self. You deserve it.

Feeling better already,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

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The wind was blowing so hard that I could barely get my car door open. Did I really want to do this? Badger Mountain looked pretty formidable this morning. I let the car door slam shut and thought, “Geesh, I drove all this way, I should probably do it. I really want to.’’

Heavy sigh. I got out of the car and felt blown across the parking lot.  I stopped, and turned around to go back to the car. “This is crazy. What are you thinking?” I was fighting a mind war. “There’s barely anyone else hiking. Do you go, not go, too windy, blah, blah, blah! But you’ll feel so good.” 

I did a 180 and proceeded to head up the trail anyway. I went the “easy” side, which isn’t very easy, but I thought it would be out of the wind. 

At the bottom of the trail, I realized I hadn’t locked my car. My car lock clicker wouldn’t work that far away, so with the wind raging into my back, I was pushed back toward my car. It was like the wind was laughing at me and telling me, “You really don’t need to do this…and you’re already on your way back to the car…”
 

Wait a minute!

I stopped thinking about the wind obstacle and focused on how good I would feel hiking. My day would be so much better and I’m not a quitter, dang it. I walked back to where my clicker worked and turned around one more time and headed into the wind. 

I was right! The easy side wasn’t so windy after all. I felt so strong, so accomplished, because I overcame the mind war and was now reaping the benefits. 

I thoroughly enjoyed the wild flowers and the magenta and light pink blooming orchards below. The beauty of God’s creation was so astonishing and I felt so grateful to be in the midst of it. This was  a great “win” for me. Marching down the hill, I celebrated by high-fiving the air.

I had this thought, “And I would’ve missed this. Had I surrendered to the wind and the mind war instead of focusing on what I desired, I would’ve missed this!”

What “win” have you had lately that I can celebrate with you? Email me back, no matter how small you think it is. Maybe you got out of bed this morning and didn’t feel like it….

Celebrating,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

Do you have a habit that isn’t serving you? Do you keep practicing that habit over and over and over again? It used to be so enjoyable, but now, it’s one of those things in your life that controls you…or seems to. It becomes a craving, and it’s like nothing else will do.

Psychologists tell us that cravings or persistent behaviors that don’t serve us come from an unmet need. I found that out personally.

Life Saver Gummies used to be my drug of choice. It got to the point where I would eat a couple of bags at a time some days.  I could go for days without thinking about them. Then something or someone would trigger me and I was off to the races.

This is what I found when I took the time to reflect on the thoughts and emotions before that instant feeling;

“IgottahavelifesavergummiesnownothingelsewilldoohGodwherearethey?”

Psychologists are right. Behind that feeling, was stress, procrastination, disappointment, powerlessness, loneliness…You get the picture?

If I needed the Gummies, the chocolate, the potato chips, that same old cutting remark when that button is pushed, I would feel better after my reaction.  That old re-action NEVER gave me better feelings. Can you relate? 

When we continue to think about what we think will satisfy us at the time, it grows. Where our focus goes, there our energy flows. Unless we change that thought, we’re going to re-act that habit.

What the heck can we do about this?

Step 1. The next time you are tempted to re-act–STOP–what do you really want? 

Step 2. Identify the emotion. Is it anger, resentment and/or bitterness; emptiness, insecurity or a desire for comfort? Are you lonely, bored?  Kristin Neff, doctor of psychology says, “Name it and tame it.”  In the time it takes to name it, it is likely that the emotion has passed.
 

Scientists have proven that emotions pass through us within 90 seconds

…if we let them. 

Step 3. Who would you like to be in this moment?  How would you rather deal with this habit? How would you rather respond? 

Step 4. Do it. Respond the way you desire to respond. Be who you would rather be in that moment. You then begin to create new neuropathways in your brain which, with continued practice, become automatic. (I would do a cartwheel right now if I weren’t in my office!!!)

Don’t believe me?  Experiment with it. Practice. Choose wisely and you can change.  

Need help? I’m just an email away!

I believe in you, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team
 

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When I first sobered up, everything made me mad. That was my “go-to” emotion and I wasn’t aware of any other feelings. One time, I was ranting to my sponsor, Sharon, about something that p%*sed me off and she interrupted my tirade, “Jan, I don’t think this emotion is anger. I think it is some other feeling.”

What?  Do you live in my head so you can know my feelings? Of course, I didn’t say that out loud, but even her answer made me mad. Her suggestion to me for the next time that I felt anger was to get a pencil and paper and write about it.  Just write…no punctuation, no grammar, just write. She said that something happens between the brain and the pen. (This is true, but the scientific explanation is too long for this email.) I would probably become aware of emotions that I didn’t know that I had.

I snidely answered,  “That sounds like a great idea, but I don’t have time for that.” Her answer? “If you want me to remain your sponsor, you’ll find time.”  I didn’t think I could find another sponsor; nobody would have me.

She was absolutely right. I found emotions that I didn’t know existed. When I didn’t understand something or someone, writing helped me unlock the mystery.  It was so beneficial that I still do it today. 

Journaling benefits:

1. I can look back and be reminded about my accomplishments and successes, which my Committee (my head voices) conveniently likes to forget. I put my prayer requests in my journal, as well. You wouldn’t believe the amount of stars (those signify answered prayers) are in my journal. 

2. Journaling gives me reasons to be grateful and helps me stay committed to becoming a better me.

3. Oh yeah, I can also look back and learn lessons that I might have missed, or chose to ignore. (Smiley face here.)

How to Get Started? 

>Buy a dollar store notebook and pen.

>Just observe yourself for a couple of days. What are your feelings? Are there any emotions that regularly occur? Jot them down. What are they and what triggers them?

>Be sure to jot down the fabulous things that are happening in your life, no matter how small.

>Write your prayer requests–this is my personal favorite. Often I forget what I’ve asked for, but if they are written, I can watch for how God showed up to answer.

>When a challenge arises, sit down with your pen and notebook and just write. No grammar, no punctuation, no perfection…just write. Write until you can’t write anymore. If you are not in a position to write, rant and record on your phone. Have Siri take a long note.

You will be surprised what solutions you come up with and what emotions you uncover. You’ll be excited about all the great things you have accomplished.  You will joyfully remember what you asked God for and how He answered.  You’ll be grateful that you had that rant with Siri or your notebook and not that person with whom you wanted to argue. 

If you have any questions, please ask.  I believe journaling has kept me sober, but more than that, it is the reason behind my confidence in undertaking risk and opportunity.  I KNOW it will be beneficial to you, as well.

Still writing,

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team

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I have never missed that last flight to Pasco, WA from Seattle. I’ve had to sprint to catch it before, but always made it. 

My flight From Orlando was delayed by thunderstorms and the terminal was a zoo. So many planes were waiting on the tarmac with many disgruntled passengers standing by. The hour and a half layover in Seattle gave me the confidence that the delay wasn’t going to impact me. Usually, there’s a tailwind on flights westward and we land early.  

When I was getting on the flight, I was notified of a seat change. My new seat was right where I could exit first when we landed. Now that was an answer to a prayer I hadn’t prayed. I was hopeful. 

When we landed, the flight representative told me, “Your Pasco flight has already flown. Go to the help desk and see what they can do.”

It was already almost midnight…now what?

It was pandemonium at the help desk, as many missed their connecting flights. My heart went out the the flight representatives as I listened to the ranting in line. 

“I’m suing the airline.”
“I heard that they don’t do anything if the reason you miss your flight is weather related.” 
“This is awful–I’m going to give her an earful. They better give me some kind of compensation.”

I was tired and cold, I didn’t have any jammies, tooth brush or makeup (that is it’s own disaster,) I had no idea when my next flight would be or where I was spending the night. Oh yeah, I didn’t have a comb, brush or any power hair tools either. 

AND you know how I feel about unknowns. They make me grumpy, anxious and distracted. 

Right then I had a choice. 

I could be grumpy and fearful with all these unknowns or I could look at them as an adventure. The definition of adventure is an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity. Sounds kinda fun, doesn’t it? That decision made all the difference.

Let’s call that Lesson #1. 

Lesson #2 When I cease grasping for control over things that are not mine, I can experience peace. Oh boy, peace washed over me like a river when I let go, because I remembered Who was in control. God takes the negative stuff and makes it good.

Lesson #3 I don’t have to give power to anxious thoughts about the future. We don’t have any surety about “What ifs” unless they happen. Ninety percent of the things we worry about never happen anyway. If I stay in the moment, I can conquer thoughts that don’t serve me. 

Lesson #4 If I sleep on my back, my makeup stays intact…okay…for the most part. You know what else? People don’t notice your makeup, they do notice your attitude. 

Lesson #5 I can drink coffee, encourage someone else in their difficult time, carry a purse and back pack while walking. (That was the hazardous part of this adventure:)

Lesson #6 There are so many people along the way that are happy to help you. Choose to be with those–not the ones with the bad attitudes.

After getting lost in the parking garage, a nice gentleman showed me where I could pick up the shuttle to the Doubletree hotel across the street from the airport. I got a great room and a toothbrush there–all compliments of Delta.

The most exciting part about this adventure is realizing that I have grown…finally. When viewing unknowns as adventures, they can be fun. My circumstances don’t have to define my attitude. I get to choose that. AND maybe I have finally passed the test!

Growing, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team
 

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On one flight home from California, I started a conversation with the gentleman next to me. It began as one of those simple, “Are you going home? Where have you been? Was it fun or for work?”  It quickly turned into a conversation where he was telling me joke after joke…and they weren’t funny. He thought they were, and I politely laughed and wished that I had some of those noise canceling headphones that I see advertised on T.V.

I excused myself from our discussion so I could feign taking a nap. 

Speaking of noise canceling headphones, it’s very necessary to shut out the voices outside of ourselves who tell us (or have told us) who we are. Those voices aren’t us. When I was little, the other kids on the playground didn’t want to pick me for their team because I was too small to help them win. My dad didn’t believe that girls should go to college. (What? Were women not as smart as men?) The clincher was that my dad didn’t want me. He was frustrated with my mom that she was pregnant with a third child. Yes, Mom told me and others how Dad felt…because she was happy that she had me. Mom had no idea that fact hurt me, until I told her later on in life.

As a child, those outside voices labeled me–too small, not smart enough and unwanted. We need to strip those voices away and return to listening to our inner voice intuitively, like we used to as children, before we allowed others to label us. It’s that still small voice within, that I believe is the voice of our Spirit, the Divine. 

I mean, really, have you listened to your self-talk lately?

We need to put on The Spirit headphones to cancel out the external chatter that chips away at our self-worth. That inner voice then gets stronger and louder. It’s that inner voice that tells us we are more than enough, we are brilliant, we are loved by others and we are worthy of what we desire. That inner voice knows more about you than anyone else. That inner voice has your back and wants the very best for you.

Be still…really…be still. Listen in to your inner voice. You’ve not lost that voice, you’ve just been too busy to listen. What does it say about you? If it belittles, that’s not your voice and needs to be ignored. Your inner voice will build you up, remind you Whose you are, refresh your memory of your incredible strengths and yes, how you can have a positive impact on your world…just as you are!

Listening intently,

Jan!

Technology can bring out the worst in me. On Friday morning, I had a couple of challenges that highjacked my positive attitude. The Head Trash began. “This shouldn’t be this hard, you’re just old.” “These instructions are so simple, you aren’t smart enough.” “You’re not good enough.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised, as I am often tested in the areas in which I teach. I just taught on self-talk the night before in my Powerful Self Image webinar. I didn’t remember that because my body was in fight mode and I wasn’t thinking clearly. 

After a half day of bad attitude and snarky comments in my head, Truffle and I dropped everything and headed out to do yard work in the sun with a bag of Skittles (a feel good drug of choice:) 

As I clipped back the dead lavender and threw the clippings in the garbage can, I realized that was what I needed to do with my Head Trash. Clip it off and throw it in the garbage. It occurred to me then that I had just taught that concept the night before. The light in my head went on and I sat there in the sun with Truffle and started to laugh. I opened the Skittles and poured them in the trash, too. 

That Head Trash circling in my head is not true about me. That is not who I am. (NO, 69 is not old. It’s the new 49.) I am smart, I am good enough. In fact, I am complete in Jesus, not lacking anything. God sees me as perfect (Ephesians 1:4,5) and I need to agree with His vision. WOW! That changes everything. 

I don’t need Skittles, or anything else to make me feel better. I have emotions; I don’t let them have me. (okay, not very often.) I get to choose my thoughts and attitude. I’m grateful that those times where I let those nasty voices in my head get the better of me are fewer and farther in between. 

There remains no accusing voice…we do it to ourselves…or is it just me? 

Oh yeah, when I went back to the technology challenges with a fresh perspective and positive mindset, I figured them out…quickly. 

Still learning, 

Jan

We have a hard time being successful with other people if we haven’t paid the price of success with ourselves. The Law of Awareness is kind of a catch 22. We have to know who we are to grow our potential, but we have to grow in order to know who we are.

We aren’t going to live a different life or become a different person than we are now, without growing. I heard Darrin Hardy of Success magazine say on a CD some time ago,  ” If you want to get out of debt, you have to change the thinking that got you into debt.”

It’s because of paradigms or the way we see things. Some of these paradigms we grew up with.  For simplicity sake, let’s compare paradigms to maps. Suppose we want to go to a place in Chicago, but the map that we have was mistakenly labeled Detroit. Imagine our frustration of trying to get to our destination.  We could change our behavior we could try harder or double our speed to get there, but our efforts would only succeed in getting us to the wrong place faster.

We could work on our attitude— we could think more positively.  We wouldn’t get to the right place, but we’d be happy where ever we ended up. The point is, we’d still be lost. Our challenge has nothing to do with behavior or attitude.  It has everything to do with having the wrong map or paradigm in our heads.

We have many maps in our heads, with which we see everything. We interpret everything through these mental maps and we seldom question their accuracy. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they are or the way they should be. Our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions.

To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little until we examine the basic paradigms or maps from which these behaviors flow. 

We see the world, not as it is,
but as we are, or as we are conditioned to see it.

If we don’t know ourselves and don’t have mastery over ourselves, it’s very hard to like ourselves.  Self-respect comes from this dominion over self and awareness of our deepest wants, needs and desires.

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or do, but what/who we are. The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves. Leading ourselves well opens up opportunities for building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with others. Our tendency is to project out of our own paradigms what we think other people will want or need. What if those paradigms are a bit skewed, which is normal in most people’s lives?

It starts within.  We have to know ourselves to grow ourselves. When we begin to lead ourselves well and become aware of where we lack awareness of limiting beliefs that can impact relationships, others respond in ways we never thought possible.

Keep on growing,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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I was watching the wild card game the other night—the Arizona Cardinals against the Los Angeles Rams.

Matthew Stafford has been a quarterback for 13 years and had yet to win a playoff game. It was hard to see how good he was when he played for the Detroit Lions. When the Rams made him the highest paid quarterback in the NFL, people had their doubts…and they were quite vocal about their unbelief.

At the beginning of the game, the sports commentators were giving all of his negative stats and were doubtful that he could win. The twitter feed about him less than edifying. They even mentioned all of his negative stats TO HIM in the pre-game interview and asked him how he felt about it! 

I said to the T.V. “What are you doing? This is one of the biggest games of his life and you are wanting him to talk about the possible head trash he may have? Do you even want him to win?”

Matthew’s answer, “Every time I step on the field, I’m proving myself. Whether it’s a preseason game, a regular season game, practice, a playoff game, I want to go out there and play well. This is just another opportunity to do that. This is a team game. There is no question. But, at the same time, do I know that when the quarterback plays a good game, you got a better chance to win the game? Absolutely. So, I’m always trying to go out there and play as good of football as I possibly can to help our team win.”

Then Matthew added, with a bit of a laser look in his eyes, “It’s positive pressure that I put on myself to go out there and help our team win.”

Stafford went out there and crushed it. The Rams kicked some serious butt 34-11. He credited as a team win, but he was the leader as the quarterback.

How many times have we heard the naysayers in our own lives?  Sometimes, we’ve even listened to them and allowed them to steal our dreams.

Sometimes, we’ve been our own naysayers. We’ve listened to our own head trash, rather than the Spirit within Who gives us the power to succeed. 

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something (unless you’re a kid and it’s your mother.) You have to protect your dream. People are like crabs in a pot. If they don’t want to crawl out of the pot, they don’t want anyone else to either. 

Laugh at those naysayers and whatever you want, go after it. Go prove yourself! Go for the win! You are fully resourced to achieve your dream. YOU GOT THIS!

I believe in you, 

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

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Adventure is my word for 2022.

Reading through last years journal, I realized that I spent a huge amount of time struggling with control issues. In fact, it wasn’t just last year’s struggle–it’s been with me awhile. It makes me smile to even write this, because I know in my head that I can’t control people or circumstances. I guess that knowledge never made it to my heart.

We all know how much of our lives have been in our control in the last couple years with the pandemic and all. Ha! Every other day, “they” change the rules and we have to figure life out all over again. When I dwell on this powerlessness, it feels dark and squeezing; my neck muscles tighten and my breathing gets

shallow.  This would often manifest outwardly as irritation, bad attitude and even a bit of anger…because I didn’t know what was coming. 

When this continued inner wrestling finally became painful enough, when I finally got sick of it,  I decided to reflect more on the accompanying emotions. I wanted to crush these negative feelings, so I sat in them for awhile.

I came to the conclusion that my desire for control is really fear. WHAT? I’m not afraid of anything…unless it is an unknown or something I can’t control.  This inner skirmish pretty much came to a head when we had Covid. Talk about powerlessness. 

Powerlessness fuels the fear, which feeds my irritation and anger. 

1. 
   Did you know that anger or irritation releases adrenaline-like substances in our bodies? Epinephrine is one of those hormones, as well. Together, these distract us from feeling pain. These chemicals also give us a feeling of control. AHA!
   
   No wonder being angry is such a “go-to” emotion when the pain of powerlessness arises! 
   
   AND it’s not the circumstance that impacts our emotions in a negative way, it’s what we believe about the circumstance that causes the reaction.  Fear is a feeling that is caused by our belief that something or someone will cause us pain or be dangerous. Fear can also rise when we are worried about something that MAY TRANSPIRE WITH AN UNCERTAIN OUTCOME. 
   
   The key word there is MAY. Research says that ninety percent of the things we worry about don’t come to pass anyway.  Our beliefs can be in error. 
   
   What a waste of energy, mentally and emotionally. Time for a belief change for me. I need to change how I perceive unknowns and those things, circumstances and people I can’t control (which is just about every thing and body). I decided that it was time that I viewed life as an adventure, hence my word for the year.  Adventures are exciting and fun. Yes, they can be risky and scary, in an enjoyable way.  An adventure is something I choose–just like the thoughts I think. Unknowns and powerlessness are now adventures. 
   
   How much time did I waste in previous years (yeah, it was a nasty habit) grasping for things that I couldn’t control anyway? What could I have used all that negative mental and emotional energy for?  How much more creative could I have been…wait, it’s a new year and I get to start over. The past is gone and it doesn’t define me. Yippee!
   
   I saw a statement in an online devotional that I enjoy, “Instead of grasping and controlling–release and receive.” Sounds like a great New Year’s resolution to me. 
   
   Thanks for listening,
   
   Jan
   
   Jan McDonald
   The John Maxwell Team 
   
   PS. I have a new class starting January 18th–Self Image Masterclass. This is a class that many have enjoyed before, but this time I have added spiritual truths. Watch for my next facebook live on Tuesday or Wednesday about this viritual class. I am soooooooo excited to share this with you!
   
    For a friend to subscribe, here is the link

https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/email/

Follow me on facebook for more enlightening information:) @janbayermcdonald

As we grow, life experiences, mistakes, failures, kids on the playground and well-meaning adults download beliefs systems in our minds that we continue to carry with us.  All of these beliefs systems comprise our self-image. Our self-image is our overall subjective emotional evaluation of our own value or worth. It’s the way we see ourselves. Some of these beliefs may not even be true about us, but hold us back from reaching our full potential.

We can’t outperform our self-image either.  We can’t do what we think we can’t. 

How can we improve the way that we see ourselves?  Here are four steps:

1.  First, realize that this is a process.  The poet Carl Sandburg said, “There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.”  We didn’t become who we are overnight…let’s give ourselves some grace and improve a bit every day. Consistent improvements day after day create great enhancements over time.  What can you do today to improve? Do it–and no matter how small, celebrate that win.

2. We need to guard our self-talk–Whether we are aware of it or not, we have a running conversation with ourselves. What is that conversation like?  Do you encourage yourself? Or do you criticize yourself? Negative self talk undermines our self image. What we say to ourselves is what we tend to believe.

3. Stop comparing ourselves to others. We often compare our beginnings to someone’s middle or their end. We don’t know the whole story. We only see their glory. Each of us is unique and incomparable to anyone else. 

4. Move beyond your limiting beliefs.  When you identify the negative talk or belief, ask yourself, “What would I rather believe about myself?” Then replace that old limiting belief with the new one.  

Maybe you’re thinking, “yeah, easy for you to say.” It is easy for me to say it, not always easy to do it. However, my experience has been that these steps work, if we work them.

If you would like to be part of a group of like-minded people who are taking a deeper dive into improving their self-image, join us in my virtual Self-Image Masterclass. It starts the third week in January–it will either be Tuesday nights at from 6:30-7:30 for 8 weeks. 

Here’s what one participant said: 

“I have taken two classes with Jan, and I highly recommend her to anyone looking to break through the barriers holding them back.  Working with Jan has been life changing.  She makes it easy for you to share your story, because she takes the lead and shares her story first.  My wife was amazed at the personal growth I was able to accomplish when working with Jan.”

To register, click here:https://www.jan-mcdonald.com/self-image-masterclass

Remember, it isn’t what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you aren’t.

Growing with you!

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team 

Attachment is a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal, or the like. It is the state of being attached. Many of us have new goals for 2022 and we’re excited about them! If we are going to achieve those goals, we’re going to have to make some changes. If we think the way we always have, we’ll always get what we’ve already gotten. 

Some of those changes may not be obvious, so we’re going to have to do some reflecting and deep digging to find out what needs to be changed…or what needs to be let go of. What are you attached to?  We have all sorts of commitments, ideals and beliefs to live the life that we are currently living. If we want to change our current results, significant change is necessary.  “That’s just the way I am” is not going to get you improved results.

“We don’t attach to people or things, we attach to uninvestigated concepts that we believe to be true at the moment.”  Katie Byron

Ouch!

Since weight loss is the number one New Year’s Resolution, let me use that as an example. If you going to lose weight, you’re going to have to change the way you shop, cook, the way you eat, what you eat and you may want to add exercise to make it easier.  

Geesh, it’s really hard to watch football without mountains of popcorn and maybe Life Saver Gummies…that’s going to have to change.  Not because I need change, but I’m speaking for a friend. (hahahaha) Netflix binges that are accompanied with high calorie snacks may need to go by the wayside until new snackings habits are discovered. 

If you want to enhance your marriage. discover a new and better relationship, have richer communications with your kids, make more money, or whatever it is you desire, you will have to be open to new and improved ways of thinking and relating. If we are stuck in our old ways, we can’t see the new opportunities or mindset shifts that can be ours.

AND we don’t stay the same, we move forward into growth or backward into sameness and/or safety.  As my friend and mentor, Paul, says, “Nothing in the universe stays the same–it either grows or disintegrates.” 

So how do we unattach? Here’s what I have done (and am still doing):

1. Identify what you are holding onto that isn’t serving you anymore. What is not working in your life?  What is your perception of what is holding you back?  It’s usually something that follows the word “because.”  I can’t do this, because…. This won’t work, because…  That will never happen, because…Listen for those sentences. 

2. Lighten up. I can tell you one thing that needs to be dumped and that is your past. Harvest the good from your past and let go of the rest. Let go of old mindsets, self-created illusions and assumptions that no longer serve you.  Leave old resentments, judgments  and being offended behind–they weigh more than you imagine. (That will be your first 10 pounds of weight loss. You’re welcome:) 

3. “Stop grasping at the things that are Mine.”  Yeah, God told me that last year and I’m still trying to get it. Open your grasp and let go of things that you can’t control.  Let go of the way you’ve always done everything and be open to change. Get adventurous! Venture out of your comfort zone.  

When was the last time you tried something new?  You  have choices. You  can choose to change and infinitely enhance your life. You can live a life  of joy and adventure, or you can step back into “That’s just the way I am.”  And 2022 will be here before you know it, and everything will be the same as 2021… or even 2020.

Does this email sound tough and mean?  I wouldn’t be writing about this if I didn’t have personal attachments to deal with. Just when I think I have arrived, Attachment #257 rears its ugly head.  

AND I know you. Your potential is limitless and you wouldn’t be on this email list if you didn’t want something more. I believe in you. You have so much more value than you are giving yourself credit for. The world needs all of your gifts and talents…badly.  Not only that, but you deserve to live the freedom that living without attachments will bring you. 

Happy and successful 2022 to you!

Jan

Jan McDonald

The John Maxwell Team

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Badger Mountain is not Mount Everest,  but I get some of my best ideas and hardest workouts hiking there.  When the gym closed during the COVID quarantine, I worked out at home for awhile. But Walmart resistence bands and 10 pound weights just didn’t cut it. To keep my sanity, I found Badger Mountain…a life-saver for me. 

It’s not a long hike. What I call “the hard side” is one mile from the bottom to the top and the elevation at the top is only 1593 feet. But it’s tough and usually windy…like some “hikes” in life.

Just like Badger, every new life “hike” is difficult, especially if we don’t know how far it is to the top or what the top even looks like.

The first 6 minutes of Badger are killer steep. (When I hike this with my friend, Deanna, I let her talk so I can focus on getting oxygen.) We do get to catch our breath before we hit the next switchback. Then there’s a rocky part where we have to watch every step, so we don’t turn an ankle. If that isn’t bad enough, at that point the wind can feel like it’s going to blow us off the mountain. Soon, it flattens out for a bit, and the path gets smooth again. Over the next small incline we see the next two vertical (they seem like it) switchbacks that get us to the top. 

It’s like life at times… steep, rocky, the wind in our face. Some of the time, we don’t have a clue where the path is taking us. We may as well not open our mouths to complain because the wind blows grit into our teeth.  We often wonder like a little kid on a long trip, “Are we there yet?”

While pondering this “life is like a series of hikes” thought, I saw some birds. It seemed like they were laughing at the steepness and the rocks on the path. They were using the wind to soar.  They weren’t fighting the trip, they were effortlessly climbing, focused on the big picture and enjoying the journey.

Yes, the climb can be difficult at times, but not if we keep the big picture in mind. The big picture can be our destination, the delight of the journey, the beautiful wild flowers in spring and/or the knowledge that we are going to make it to the top. We will achieve the goal of the life we designed for ourselves…if we just keep moving forward.

Every life hike makes us stronger and empowers us to attempt more hikes, because we have experienced success. We’ve made it to the top before and the view at the top is spectacular!  AND there’s always an easy downhill cruise after the climb. The wind will be at our backs, too. We learn, like the birds, not to resist, but to enjoy the journey, because we can do this! We can achieve our vision. 

That picture is the view as you begin the downhill cruise. It’s so worth the hike. 

Hiking,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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